I Hate Those Self Help Gurus!

No seriously, I hate those Self Help gurus! Now its all come into focus. I understand what my personal hang up has been with you all, and why I keep reading all around the web, how much people are starting to dislike, nay HATE you self help gurus, that are popping up EVERYWHERE!

There’s a few good reasons, but before I explain them, let me say TO those folks…in case they happen to read this too, I don’t dislike you as ‘people’, just the manner in which, this industry has evolved, and the drivel that so many gurus or pawning off on folks.

You see, it’s easy to hate the self help ‘experts’ for a number of reasons; they seem to have already MADE it to the place we are trying to get to, they don’t have the same kinds of problems WE have, they are FAR too easily able to SOLVE those problems….or maybe it’s just they have a better publisher than we can find…LOL.

Seriously, the one main reason I personally have come to dislike them (I’ve decided to go with a less aggressive and angry word…dislike works better for me…) is because they don’t let us IN.

No really. Think about it. How many of those Self Help folks, have you WATCHED, pull themselves out of a rut, or a horrible situation, or just something stressful, to find personal success in a challenging moment in THEIR lives?

I haven’t seen it once. And I’ve been looking. HARD. You see, that is what I think is one of the BIG missing pieces, regarding this idea of Self Help. There are MORE than enough people online, and walking about the normal world, who CLAIM to have ‘it all together’, and talk about how ‘easy it can be’ to get things done.

But now often are they SHOWING, rather than just SAYING?

Well, I think the time for that has ended. And I came to this because of my own personal rut. In fact, the motivation FOR this online effort, was not only to share this information I have, but also, to actually DO, what I was talking about…right here, IN YOUR FACE, for all to see.

My weight loss, and maintenance. My financial growth. My battle with smoking. My learning to communicate better. My working to ascend to a higher level of understanding and existence.

These things are exactly what I feel, no REALIZE, I need to work on.

Listen, I’ve been pretty successful, based on MY personal consideration for success (not measured in wealth, but spirit and happiness), and there are some tools I have learned along the way, that WILL work for anyone that applies them.

Over time, I found that I had a bit of a way with words, so that I could possibly write down, what I had learned, and share it. AS such, I sat down and wrote a short book, about what you find all over the LivingYourDrea.MS blog. Personal success and development.

I also found over time, that as long as I was talking to someone who I was not personally involved with, I could easily communicate the ideas and methodologies that could help that particular person, to find their OWN success in life.

Combining the two, meant I had a way to get MY personal passion out to the masses, if I could find a way to get it published. But, I ran into a rut. I hit a wall, and just couldn’t figure out HOW to get that done. And this was unique, because I am VERY MUCH a do’er. I get things done.

But after pouring my soul out onto those pages, I just couldn’t seem to muster the strength, or ‘just do attitude’, to get it in front of the right people. And, worse, I couldn’t figure out why. But there was a passage on a website, written by a man who inspired me greatly – James Redfield, author of The Celestine Prophecy, who was talking about HIS personal experience of hitting a wall of creativity.

He spoke about how after he had written HIS book, things just slowed down. The energy he was used to flourishing on, started to dwindle, and how he was searching for ways to get his message out to the public. But despite his best ‘efforts’ the flow had just petered out for him.

It was at this time, that he did a serious personal assessment, realized WHAT was holding him back, cleared HIS log-jam and all of the sudden, things began flowing again. Well, that happened for me as well.

I really started examining what I was doing. How I was doing it, and what my true goals were. I realized that I hadn’t really defined those goals effectively enough, and as such, all of this was just a Hodge-podge of ME. Something many of my close friends are used to….but not something I should subject you all to.

Anyhow, I digress. Once I realized this important fact, that I was holding myself back, with simple mental issues of ‘excuses and fear’, I set a STOP MECHANISM, and began to work that out of my experience. As I was doing this, I also noticed something else happening. Others around me, were responding to my ACTIONS.

The THINGS I WAS DOING, were inspiring THEM to take action in their own lives.

Now THIS was a ‘boon’ for me, as it let me know that I was missing a crucial component, that as I studied, was also missing with those Self Help folks. They were doing, and ARE doing a lot of talking, but little SHOWING, of the process.

It’s a proven fact, and the way we all learned things like Math, that a visual accompaniment to an audio or text based lesson, will enhance the learning experience.

But it seemed that guys like Tony Robbins, and others (not to pick on the Big Guy), felt like the only REAL proof they needed, the only visual accompaniment they required, was DVD’s of them, on stage in front of TONS of people, all nodding their heads, in agreement of the MAGNIFICENCE, that was the speaker on stage at that time.

Well, I don’t agree. I believe that in fact, we ALL require a bit more, and that was made glaringly obvious by the lesson I had learned with MY own experience. How people were responsive to seeing what I can DO with what I know, versus, just HEARING what I thought might be helpful to them.

Ok, so now you should get WHY I am so disturbed with those Self Help Gurus, but here’s the kicker! I have a solution.

I’m actually going to DO IT. I know! Crazy….right? Well, not that crazy. You see, as I said, I have SEEN the power of VISUAL motivation, and how watching someone DO what they are trying to explain YOU should do, is a far more effective way of teaching.

Think about grade school, as mentioned above. We almost all learned math, because a teacher stood at the front of a classroom, and wrote, with that chalk, on that dark green board, the process, numbers, letters, and such, that assisted us in understanding HOW to accomplish the completion OF that math problem.

Without that visual assistance, it would be considerably harder to understand math concepts. The same hold true with almost anything else. Consider riding a bike. If you had NEVER seen anyone riding a bike, well, first off, you may not want to tangle with something so strange looking, but if you got past that initial ‘what the HELL’ thought, you would have NO idea, and I MEAN ZERO consideration, of how to get on and ride it.

You NEED to see what it looks like. How it works. How to go about getting on, trying to balance, and ultimately, coasting off into the wind, while trying to pedal, balance, and NOT get hit by the oncoming ‘parked car’, that somehow, someone put in your way. (ROFL…personal experience…sorry)

So, what is it that I am saying? This, simply. That I am not going to do to you, what THEY do. I don’t consider myself any better than them, just going about this process in a slightly different fashion.

I want you to SEE how this process works. I want you to SEE how I take the tools I talk about on the blog, and USE them in my life, to accomplish the change that I am aiming toward.

I want you to WATCH when I have a bad day, and don’t feel like working out, or blogging, or recording a video. Why? Because THAT is real life. That is how you get to see HOW to succeed in the hardest of times. And with THAT knowledge, you can more easily implement it in YOUR life, and moreover, understand how to adjust it to fit YOUR specific needs.

So, yes, this is OUR TIME. I’ve said it before, and I will say it over and over again. This is not about MY Challenge, it is about OUR Challenge. There is NOTHING we can’t do, together, and I am not just going to say that…I am going to SHOW you that.

Alright, so I have blown their hair back enough…..I think they get it. I don’t really Hate those Self Help Gurus, I am just taking a step away from their methods, and gonna show you a different way to Get Things Done.

Akiba Howard

The Self Help NON-Guru

Collectively Learning


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