Author Archives: HarrySircofski

Self-Help for Depression – A 3-Day Plan for Breaking the Sad Cycle

Have you ever said to yourself, a friend, or a loved one, “My life is great. I have nothing to complain about, but I just feel so sad!” Everyone experiences feelings of depression and sadness once in a while. Although most people can pinpoint the cause of their blues, such as experiencing hard times, receiving bad news, living with rainy weather, or even having hormonal changes, some people feel sad or depressed without really knowing why.

I recently had lunch with a friend and when I started listening to the negative stories I was telling her about the current state of my life, I had an epiphany: I was stuck in a sad cycle that was creating a steady stream of negative thoughts in my mind!

When feeling sad leads to day after day of feeling blue, it’s time to take self-help action before full-blown depression sets in. So I created a plan for breaking my sad cycle in just three days.

Day 1

One Day 1, I decided that, instead of being sad, I was going to be wealthy! In a small notebook, I wrote down a list of the many ways that wealth touches my life:

* The money in my bank account

* My beautiful family

* My lovely home

* My home-based business

* My generous clients

* My just-for-emergencies credit line

Throughout the day, every time a negative thought crept into my mind, I stopped what I was doing and read through my wealthy list. By the end of that day, my veil of sadness was beginning to lift.

Day 2

On Day 2, I decided that, instead of being sad, I was going to be wealthy and grateful! In my notebook, I wrote down a list of the many things that I’m grateful for.

Just like Day 1, every time a negative thought crept into my mind, I stopped what I was doing and read through my wealthy and grateful lists. By the end of Day 2, I realized I was no longer wallowing in sadness. In fact, I was beginning to feel hopeful about my future again.

Day 3

On Day 3, I decided that, instead of letting sadness creep back into my life, I would focus on sharing joy with everyone I came in contact with. In addition to reviewing my wealthy and grateful lists, I looked for ways to spread joy to others. Here are some things I came up with:

* I waved to the neighbor getting her morning paper and to the kids waiting at the bus stop by my house

* I held the door for an elderly woman at the post office

* I smiled randomly at strangers (and they smiled back!)

* I hugged my kids and told them I was happy to be their mom

* I answered the phone with, “Good morning!” and “Happy Friday!” instead of simply, “Hello.”

By the end of Day 3, I actually felt lighter in my body, as if the weight of the world was no longer sitting on top of my shoulders. I was also eating healthier because I didn’t crave comfort food.

Each day since then, I choose another positive aspect of my life to focus on and look for new ways to uplift others. Sure, the bills keep coming in and the housework still needs to be done, but worrying about them only makes me feel sad. And I would rather feel wealthy, blessed, abundant, and grateful! Depression is a serious illness that should be treated by your doctor. But if you’re feeling blue, try my 3-Day plan for breaking the sad cycle – before depression sets in!

Patty Harder is a Reiki Master, ordained S.H.E.S. minister, and the founder of 5 Minute Self-Help, an online community for women who want to feel better, look better, and live better fast. To learn how you can improve your life in just 5 minutes a day, visit []

Just Because Your a Self-Help Geek Doesn’t Mean That You Are Broken

I was in the Doctor’s office a few days ago when another waiting patient asked me what I was reading. It was a rather well worn copy of Think and Grow Rich and I had been occasionally reading this particular copy for nearly 50 years. With a bit of a smirk on his face, he then asked me why I was reading that type of trash and wanted to know if I had some short of problem.

Normally, I am a very proactive and would have explained the importance of seeking the higher road and a life of self-fulfillment. This time it was just once too often and I said: “Yea, my Mercedes AMG needs a tune-up and by the way, What are you driving?” He didn’t respond and the conversation was over. It was just another example of what I have found to be a general public opinion that the self-help geeks, like me, are broken. There is something wrong with us. It is unfortunate but, the people that need to study self-help and self-fulfillment material are the least likely to do so. So many wasted lives. Your know the type-constantly complaining about how they hate their work, how they never get a break, always have bad luck and hold extremely negative attitudes towards people who have achieved wealth. They think that we are broken. We must have cheated to get what we have.

They believe all the subconscious self-defeating behaviors and thoughts that they learned as children. They live a life of fear-fear of lack, fear of losing a job that they already hate, fear that they won’t be able to pay their bills, and fear of getting out of their comfort zone-even though their comfort zone is a life of mediocrity. While they smirk and laugh at the self-fulfillment geeks of the world, it is them and not us who are broken. I also live a life of fear-fear of mediocrity. While goals are important, it is following the path of self-fulfillment that truly satisfies my inner needs. I only work at things that I love to do. I know that all of mankind was born with a purpose to their lives and that there are very few of us who actually achieve all that we are capable of.

Everyone’s path to self-fulfillment is different-there is no one size fits all but, if you really want to be “All that you can be” then leave fear behind and (sorry for the cliche) follow the road less traveled. Success has no one single definition. It is different for each and everyone of us. For me, it is helping others achieve personal self-fulfillment. For Mother Theresa it was helping the poverty stricken of the world. For people like Bill Gates, you would think that it was simply getting rich but if you look deeper, you will find that he is using a substantial portion of his income to support humanitarian projects. He knows that financial wealth is just a tool that you can use to fulfill your real purpose in life.

So, the next time you come across someone that thinks that you are broken because you have broken out of the mold of mediocrity, maybe it is time to set them straight-we live in a world of abundance, it is available to all of us and that they can live the life of their deepest desires. All they need do is follow the road less traveled.

Stan Pontiere has been an avowed self-help geek since high school-more than 40 years ago. For more information on self-fulfillment please visit: or my blog at: []

Self Help Techniques to Deal With Panic Attacks

If you are a chronic worrier, you have come to the right place as this article will share with you some practical tips you can use to help yourself take any anxious situation or even panic attacks in your stride. Practice the tips regularly and they will prove to be useful in helping you to remain calm and in control of your anxiety.

Identify Your Symptoms

The self help techniques for panic attacks will be more effective if you could start by identifying the symptoms or triggers that cause your anxiety level to rise unexpectedly and lead to panic attacks. Try your best to record down the events and feelings that you were going through when panic attacks strike. The idea here is to identify the chain of events so that you could find ways to cope when they happen again.

Self Talk to Curb Panic Attacks

Chronic worriers always have unnecessary negative thoughts or negative self talk that can trigger anxiety and panic attack. If you are the type of person who tends to put yourself down or never gives yourself the benefit of the doubt, you’ll tend to trigger an unnecessary anxiety. It would then lead to extensive worry or even depression. And the next thing you know you’re having a panic attack; can’t do anything right and feel hopeless.

Instead of beating yourself up, why not try to talk yourself up? Tell yourself that things are going to be fine. In fact, most of the things we worry about would never happen. Learn to look on the bright side of life; learn to focus on the solutions instead of problems.

Learn to Breathe Properly

Proper breathing can help calm your mind and body. And it’s very easy to do; just put your left hand on your stomach and start to breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose, then out through your mouth. You will feel that your hand moves in and out as your stomach expands and contracts slowly. As you let your body takes in the oxygen it needs slowly and steadily, your mind and body start to calm down.

When you become anxious, you’ll notice that your breathing rate increases and you start to take short breathes. This will make you feel panic and more anxious. By slowing your breathing and concentrating on it, you will be able to control your mind better and keep panic attack at bay.

Countdown from 100

Counting down from 100 is another useful self help tips for panic attacks. The idea is similar to the breathing technique. By counting down, you will be able to focus on something other than those that make you feel fearful and worry.

Learn to Relax

Closing your eyes and picturing yourself in a faraway place that is peaceful and relaxing can help calm your mind. Another relaxation technique is to focus on muscle relaxation; close your eyes and focus on your arms, repeatedly tell them to relax. Repeat the process by focusing on your legs and other parts of your body.

If you practice these relaxation techniques often enough; they will become your second nature and you will be able to use them more naturally to calm your mind, slow your heart rate and stabilize your blood pressure. These are just some of the self help tips you can practice and use to combat panic attacks.

The Internet or online guide such as Panic Attacks Guide is a great place for you to learn and pick up some self help tips to cope with anxiety and panic attacks. You can also download a FREE report how to stop anxiety & panic attacks at our site. This report is packed with tons of tips and practical techniques to deal with stress and panic attacks.

Self Help Books – Finding the Right Solution to Any Problem

The word self help has a stigma associated with it. It implies that the person using it is either weak minded or has some sort of character flaw.

So when people think of reading self help books, they usually think of reading them to overcome flaws in their personalities, self-esteem, or confidence.

This is why people stay away from or hate to admit that they are using these tools; because they don’t want to admit or let others know there is a flaw in them.

However, there is much more to self help books than that. Although these tools can help you smooth over character flaws and deficiencies in your personality, its effects are not limited to just this area.

You can use self help books to help you improve other areas of yourself and your life.

Self Help Books Give You the Skills to Succeed

None of us are perfect, and none of us are born with the exact knowledge of how to handle every situation we are put in.

In addition, different circumstances call for different set of skills. In a class setting, good studying and note taking skills are required to perform well. In an atmosphere with aggressive and rebellious people, strong assertiveness skills are needed. In certain jobs or positions of authority, effective problem solving skills are critical.

All of us need a good balance of these skills to move through life.

But when we fall short in any one or more of these areas, the limitation can significantly hinder our effectiveness. If strong enough, it can hold a tight grip on us and prevent us from living the life we desire.

This is why self help books are so important.

They fill in the gaps in those areas of our lives we did not learn in school, pick up from our parents, or develop growing up. More importantly, they give us the skills we so desperately need to make our life a success.

Self Help Books Give You the Strength to Overcome Obstacles

Traveling on the road of life, you will encounter road blocks. There is no denying that.

You may face the challenge of finding a new job, confront an illness like depression or obesity, or encounter some other obstacle that makes your life dreadful.

Too often I see people encounter road blocks, and instead of finding ways to maneuver around them, they simply resign. They accept that either they can’t rise above the obstacle or doing so would be too difficult.

In essence, the obstacle becomes a heavy ball they chain themselves to – which restricts not only how fast, but how far they can go in life.

This is unfortunate, because with the right knowledge and proper guidance, anyone can learn to overcome any hurdle life throws at them. Whatever problem you are facing, there are many self help books at your disposal that can help guide you out of your difficulty.

Others have faced the same problems you are facing right now, and using the right tools, they have found a way to overcome their adversity.

And so can you!

As you can see, self help books do more than simply improve self-esteem and confidence. They give you the skills you need to be better, stronger, and smarter. More importantly, they guide you through obstacles that enable you to enjoy a happier, more successful, and fulfilled life.

So the next time you are looking to gain expertise or are confronting a challenge, don’t be too shy or too proud to look to self help books for answers. I guarantee you will find the answers you need and will be steered in the right direction – a direction that will eliminate any confusion about what you want and how to get it.

Mike C. is the founder of, Inc. a self help company that has helped individuals of all shapes and sizes overcome obstacles of all shapes and sizes.

Whether you’re looking for ways to manage anger, improve memory, break habits, lose weight, overcome depression or become more assertive, he invites you to visit and discover self help books with solutions to these and many of life’s other problems.

Self Esteem Self Help – Boosting Self Esteem With Affirmations

When you consider that low self-esteem is almost always the result of negative messages being absorbed by the subconscious, it becomes obvious that if you remove the negativity, you CAN restore the self esteem.

So -Let’s start your Self Esteem Self Help course at once!

What stops most people is not knowing what to say, and how to apply word affirmations for best effect. Below you’ll find a few simple ideas to help you come up with valuable affirmations that will improve your self esteem.

Here and Now

First, its important to word your affirmations in the “here and now”, not sometime soon. You wouldn’t want to say, “I will learn to love myself” because that makes it sound like you’ll get around to it “whenever”. Instead you could use, “I choose to love myself.” The wording of that affirmation does two things: it empowers you with the addition of the words “choose to,” and it puts the time frame in the present moment.


At the same time, your affirmations should be acceptable to you. If you tried to say, “I am an absolute genius,” you may not really believe that, so your subconscious mind will reject it. Instead,try to focus on a process rather than an end result in your affirmations. Say something like, “I am learning to embrace my unique properties and share them confidently with others.”

Mean It!

When you recite affirmations, you can say them out loud or just think them. You must however say or think them sincerely – really inject an element of care and tenderness into them. Your subconscious mind picks up on the emotional aspect of what you`re saying more than the actual words. Imagine the difference between saying the words, “I really love myself” with a tone of care and tenderness, or sarcasm. Which do you think would have a greater impact on your subconscious mind?

Repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat…you get it.

OK – You have some affirmations formed to work on your self-esteem, now try saying them several times a day. Remember, your subconscious mind is constantly playing back old, ingrained negative messages – so you want to overcome those as powerfully as possible. Keep reciting your more positive thoughts on a regular basis – especially if you become aware that you`re thinking negatively about yourself once again. I know, I,ve done it too.

No Hurry

Finally, remember that it has taken years to set those old, negative messages in your mind. It may take a few weeks or even months to replace them with something more positive – then you`ll notice an obvious difference in how you feel. Its very important that you keep with it, and you will begin to see a difference eventually, trust me! Most likely it will be a gradual change. Little by little you’ll start feeling more positive, and notice that you`re feeling a bit happier and a lot lighter. Day by day you will notice that things you struggled with yesterday, you dealt with today without a second thought. You`re getting there! Keep at it.

Remember how the old you used to listen to what other people say about you, and take it to heart, why not start to listen to, and then believe in, yourself?

I hope this has helped a little, at the moment all may seem lost but that is simply not true, a few self esteem self help sessions and things will start to look a lot better. You may want to look for some guides that successful people have used for years to give them confidence and power, if so give yourself a head start and go to

The rest of your life is waiting for the new confident, successful you, don`t keep it waiting. Click NOW on

GOOD LUCK and best wishes.