You Can be Great If You Really Want To

It is no mystery that scents, whether wonderfully aromatic or awfully fetid, affect our psyches, our emotions, our moods, our self-esteem, and our sexuality. Pleasant aromas can attract us to others we may not have otherwise been attracted to and to the contrary, poor smells (or lack of a pleasant smells) can repel us just the same. Now, why wouldn’t someone want to smell good and not only feel good about him or herself, but attract others to them as well? There is such a simple way to do this. A little finishing touch of perfume on the wrist or below the ear on your neck right, (or other places) before you leave the house is the way.

How many times do you find yourself spraying perfume on yourself before you go out? Why do you want to smell good? It’s because you know that appealing fragrances can make you feel good about yourself and can give you lifted self confidence and self-assurance. They can make you feel attractive and often give you the poise and belief in yourself to get out there and make things happen. The simple act of spraying on perfume, body spray or body mist can give you the extra confidence needed to go out and feel good on a date, do well at a job interview, or perform well during a presentation, for just a few examples. A simple spray can be so simple, yet so powerful.

What is it about a smell that can drive a person’s confidence level up so high or attract one person to another? Research has proved that the olfactory nerves of the nose are super sensitive towards a pheromone called alpha androstenal. Now, granted, this experiment was mostly done with pigs, but it was transferred to humans as well. One investigation revealed that men and women who wore surgical masks sprayed with alpha androstenal rated women in photographs as more attractive then did subjects in a control group who wore untreated masks. Continuing on this same path, in 1983, one major perfume manufacturer began to market a women’s perfume and a men’s aftershave containing alpha androstenal. They were quite successful in the selling of their product. What more needs to be said?

So, we have some empirical evidence that pleasant smells tend to attract humans to each other, and proven research is great, but did we really need that small tid bit of information to really know how perfumes can affect a person? Why not conduct your own experiment? The next time you go out, spray some perfume on yourself. Make sure not to douse yourself in it because too much of any good thing…well…isn’t such a good thing. However, spray sparingly after you’re dressed and ready to go out and go and have a great time! Observe how your confidence level is raised and how you feel about yourself while you’re out. Try to notice whether you’re receiving more attention or not. My guess is that there is no doubt you will feel great about yourself. Like buying a new shirt, dress, or even a great pair of shoes; perfumes have that same kind of affect! It just makes you feel good about yourself!

Don’t have any perfume handy? Try some good smelling lotion for the initial test. Although it won’t be as strong as will perfume, it’s only a test to prove to you what so many others already know. But you need to find out for yourself. After you have proven to yourself, that you not only felt more confident during your time out wearing a fragrance, but you found more people looking in your direction and possibly even talking to you, take the next step. Purchase your favorite , whether a floral, musky, woodsy, fruity, or sweet smell and be even MORE noticeable out there. Lotions may just not be enough to do the trick, but it’s a start if you are new to the world of fragrances. If you need to just prove to yourself how you will feel and behave differently when you smell good, take the test using the lotion and it will be an almost guarantee that you will want to try perfumes next. Any pleasant discount perfume and cologne will indeed make a difference in how you feel about yourself, how you hold your body, how your posture changes, how you approach and talk to others, and even how you walk. Self confidence and self esteem are the keys to almost any success, and with such a simple way to gain a bit more than you already have or need, why not spray a little mist onto your person and get out there and conquer the world!

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It’s natural for us to be overcome by shyness or insecurity every once in a while. But if you’re the kind of person who’s terrified of everything, then you need some help. In this article, you’ll learn about a few confidence building activities that are guaranteed to improve your way of life.

Why do you have to suffer through extreme shyness when you know you can do something about it? These confidence building activities, while not the “end all, be all,” can help you get past your wallflower syndrome and help you get your life back.

Confidence-Building Activity # 1: Start a Journal.

Coming to terms with your insecurities will greatly help you boost your confidence. Sometimes, all that holds us back is fear. When we allow fear of embarrassment or fear of what may come stand in our way, we will not be able to function well at all.

However, when we confront our fear – even explore it – through writing, it becomes easier to handle. Writing about little triumphs will also have a significant impact on your ego.

Confidence-Building Activity # 2: Fix the Physical.

Nothing encourages confidence more than a makeover. Most of us have trouble with activities to gain self-esteem because we don’t even like how we look like. Our self image is poor and basically self-destructive.

While a make-over won’t make you a showman overnight, it can give you the boost of confidence you need to take the first step. The physical is but one aspect of the process of course. There are a lot more self-esteem activities out there that really sink their teeth into the problem.

Confidence-Building Activity # 3: No Harm Trying.

If you want to build your confidence, you can try out different contests and join different organizations that appeal to you. Taking baby steps is completely normal.

For example, if you’ve always wanted to be a newscaster, why don’t you start practicing in front of the mirror? You have to be able to watch your own reflection first before you try news casting in front of a million home viewers.

From solo performances, you can try speaking up more during a community forum or gathering.  These small gigs will help you grow your confidence, as well as improve your craft. By the time you have the opportunity to audition to become a real newscaster, you’ll be thoroughly prepared.

Everyone needs a shot of confidence. Whenever you feel your own dwindling in stock, look back at these confidence building activities and practice them.

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Are You Dating a Narcissist?

In order to recognize a narcissist, it’s important to understand the difference between healthy self-esteem and narcissism.  

Narcissism is the “enemy” of healthy self-esteem.  

It is something that looks like the real thing, but is not. Narcissus, as many know, is the legendary Greek character who fell in love with his own image and drowned because he stared too long at his reflection in a pond of water.  A narcissist is obsessed with his image and has no real sense of self.  

A narcissist is someone who, usually due to childhood trauma or over-doting parents, has become obsessed with his image.  He has been socialized to identify with a very judgmental social system where love is given or withheld based on external criteria.  If you’re beautiful, thin and smart, you will be loved.  If not, forget it.  

People who grow up this way are addicted to status markers.   They crave praise and attention because it validates their very existence.  Without it, they do not feel alive.  This is because they have no real sense of self and rely on others to feed their ego.  

They are addicted to attention and crave it like a drug.

We all know people like this. They are usually the loudest person in the room or display outlandish, attention-getting behavior to get others to notice them.  Narcissists are typically the center of attention and the life of the party.  People are often drawn to them.

Unfortunately, if you’re dating this type of person you are in for a rude awakening.

A narcissist sees his life as a movie or dramatic story in which he has the starring role.  He creates a character (a.k.a. false self) based on what your likes and dislikes are in a partner and then assumes the traits and emotions of that character to lure you in.  Narcissists are unable to feel empathy for anyone but themselves.  

Therefore, they act out or mimic these emotions in order to convince people they are capable of real love.  They do this through carefully observing and profiling others.  Narcissists are great actors.  They are completely disconnected from their true self and depend entirely on external validation to feel alive.

There are two types of narcissists.  

The one type of narcissist is what we refer to as the cerebral or intellectual narcissist.  

This type of narcissist derives validation based on their intelligence or position of power.  They abuse their authority and see everyone as a pawn to be played in their quest for dominance.  You see workplace and political narcissism everyday in the news.

Perfect examples are Bernie Madoff and former Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich.  These are cerebral or intellectual narcissists.  

Then there are the sexual narcissists.

In the dating world, the trend of “hooking up” or sleeping around is perfect for narcissists of this type. The sexual narcissist flaunts his body, exhibits his muscles and brags about his physical conquests.  It is important to note that women can be just as narcissistic as men.  

However, studies show 75% of narcissists are male.  I believe this is mainly due to the fact that men have more opportunities to be in positions of power than women. Genetics may also play a role according to recent studies.  

A sexual narcissist loves to hunt and pursue women. They see women as conquests to be captured.  The more attractive and unobtainable she is, the more thrilling the chase becomes for the narcissist.  They look at dating like a scorecard. A narcissist will value you, not for yourself, but for how good you make him look, what he can get from you or what status you bring him.

Unfortunately, once a woman has been conquered by a narcissist, she is quickly discarded.  

He loses interest.  A narcissist is terrified of settling down and dreads intimacy.  He is always on the lookout for something better.  So that life-long bachelor, who everyone thinks nobody has been smart enough to get yet, is actually a nightmare waiting to happen — all over you.

If you listen to your gut, you will eventually start to feel uneasy or off-balance around a narcissist.  You know something is wrong, but can’t quite put your finger on it.

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