Tag Archives: affairs

To Save Your Marriage, Stop Talking!

This is going to sound totally illogical at first, but stop and consider whether the way to ultimately save your marriage is to just stop talking to one another as often. Most assume that they need to talk as often as possible if they want to work things out, but the way they end up talking can lead to more harm than good.

Most couples who are having difficulties turn to a therapist or counselor of some sort, seeking intervention to steer them through to happier times. While this does work for some people, others find themselves filling out divorce papers before they even finish their pre-paid sessions.

So, what makes the difference here between couples that can essentially talk out their problems and others that cannot?

If you want to turn talk time into a rekindled marriage, you have to understand at some point that the actual talking is not what heals a marriage. What will ultimately save a relationship is both people being able to really listen to one another and then take deliberate steps outside of talk time to make things better for one another.

Talk that does not lead to action is not enough. Sessions that include two closed-off, bitter people sitting with arms crossed tight waiting for their chance to rip the other person apart or cry about how they have been hurt and betrayed will lead nowhere good. It can’t do any good because everyone is talking but no one is listening.

If you are going to try to talk things out, pay attention to what happens after each session. There will always be some sort of action at every moment of every day, and it’s the action after a talk session that will ultimately determine your chances of really working things out. If you both storm to opposite corners or have a huge screaming match, chances are low of coming out successful.

The key is to go away from a talk session really having heard what the other person said, valuing their opinions and feelings, and ready to take action to make things better. Most couples do not need to spend long lengths of time in a therapist’s office or screaming at one another at home. They just need one big honest heart-to-heart and a committed attitude to at least try something every single day afterward to make things better.

If you really want to save your marriage, then realize that action counts more than words. When it comes down to rekindling a flame or letting it snuff out, what you do counts much more than what you say.

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Forgiving Your Partner

To err is human, to forgive is divine. But still, the majority of us find it tough to forgive, especially when the person involved is your partner. You may wish to hold the grudge and continue to not be on good terms with your other half for the rest of your life. But, if you want the relationship to go on, then forgiveness is a must. However, this is easier said than done. Forgiving your partner might not be all that easy after all. But, it isn’t impossible either.

The 1st step towards forgiveness is to discuss the situation. And, by discussing we mean speaking, instead of screaming or throwing stuff like bottles of your favorite Clearpores Skin Cleansing System over him. Both of you must deal with the issue as mature adults and express what you feel in the most civil manner possible. While you give vent to your own feelings, you must also lend a patient ear to what your partner has to say. Talking about it will help you feel lighter and also make forgiving simpler for you.

Give each other space by staying separately for a few days. Go away somewhere on a short holiday. This will permit you to think more clearly and anything crucial that previously went unnoticed will also come back to you. This self imposed time off will help you figure out whether you wish to continue with the relationship and reconnect with your partner.

Before you forgive someone, you must 1st relieve yourself of the agony and sorrow by crying. The luxury of crying could help relieve any hurt you feel and allow you to let go off the feelings suppressed within you. Crying, may also help ease out any emotional turmoil which you might be suffering from.

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Leave the past behind. This is an significant step to forgiveness. While you may not be able to erase the hurt entirely, you must try and let those feelings of bitterness go. Without doing so, it might be much more difficult for you to forgive your partner.

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It may not be extremely simple to forgive your partner. However, if you want life and your relationship to move on, then adhering to the golden principle of forgiveness is a must.

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Can You Save A Marriage After An Emotional Affair?

Emotional affairs can be more damaging to a relationship then an affair that involved pure sexual lust or a one night stand. The fact that the heart and deep emotions were involved often strikes the person who has been cheated on much harder than knowing the spouse just fell in bed beside someone once or a couple times. So, is it possible to actually save a marriage after an emotional affair has taken place?

The problem is not so much the affair, but the “emotional” part. Affairs of the body happen every day and many marriages recover from that shock much easier than most would expect. Yet, when one person has a real intimate connection with someone other than their spouse it is much harder to set aside and move on.

The first step is for the person who experienced the actual emotional affair to honestly decide whether the affair is genuinely over or not. If there is still deep feelings that are not likely to be let go anytime soon, then there may not be a way to really move the marriage forward. You can’t have a happy marriage if one person’s heart is withdrawn to someone else.

If the connection of the affair has been broken, then the journey shifts focus to the other spouse.

The spouse that was actually cheated on is fully entitled to feeling their own set of emotions, but in order to save the marriage they must also open their heart and their mind to the rekindling of romance with their spouse. Both people have to want the marriage to survive or it simply will not do so.

Once both people are on board and ready to move forward, then a period of time will be needed to restore an intimate connection with one another. Trust will have to slowly build up again. The marriage may never go back to exactly where it was before the emotional affair, but an even stronger bond can be formed and a new sense of happiness brought to life.

In order to save a marriage after an emotional affair open-hearted communication will be essential. Bitter arguments or throwing dishes is not helpful, but really talking so that everyone feels heard and validated will lead to action that can genuinely heal both people in time.

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Save My Marriage! 4 Tips To Help You Save Your Marriage

If you are asking the question over and over “how to save my marriage?’, you are reading at the right place. Breakups are the most traumatic part of anyone’s life. Very few people are willing to save their marriages in today’s world where infidelity is the name of the game. This article is for those individuals who are willing to look beyond break-ups and give their relationship a second chance. In this article, we talk about how to save a relationship from falling apart.

There are four ways of handling a crisis in a marriage. The easiest one is to give up and get going with life. The second one is to exert control over your spouse and try to talk him/her about not leaving mid way. The third one is to let tempers fly and wage a war on your spouse. The last and the most difficult one is to accept reality and try to bounce back to work things out.

Most of the marriages go awry because the expectations are not met. Hence, it is important to set right expectations and gain clear understanding of it. You and your spouse need to draw up a list of ten important things that you expect from each other. Then, share the list and rework on it if needed. Once ready and accepted, you have to ensure that you stick to what you agreed upon.

Sit back and think about what went wrong and why the relationship took a hit. See the mistakes that were committed by both of you. Don’t be biased; be realistic. Once you have realized what went wrong, ensure that you don’t commit the same errors again. Learn, improvise and move forward.

Do not lose your cool. There might be times when you will want to yell at your spouse for spoiling the beautiful relationship that you shared with him/her thus subjecting you to the current ordeal, but, do not do that. Impulsive reactions are what trigger the last shreds of marriage to be broken. Hence, keep a check on your temper. Remember you don’t want to be the one to show the door when you both are putting in efforts to save the relationship.

Don’t ever blame your partner for things going wrong though it may seem very tempting. Appreciate him/her for the efforts he/she is putting in willingly to rework on the marriage. Complaining pushes you away from your partner but praising helps in bridging gaps. Don’t get into arguments with your partner when they are trying to express their feelings to you. Instead, be patient and listen willingly. Show that you care.

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