Low self esteem is usually a result of self-depreciation: the negative messages you constantly feed yourself, over and over again.These messages may have originated from your parents, your siblings, school-yard bullies, or even your ex-partners. But no matter where they came from, it’s your own dear sweet head replaying these negative messages, the negative thoughts, over and over and over again.
By repeating these negative messages time and time again, they are absorbed by the subconscious. So, it makes sense that feeding your mind more positive messages can make a powerful difference!
Remember, first and foremost, YOU and ONLY you decide what thoughts to dwell on. Sure, thoughts come and go. And yes, they do go too. Just have a “back door” open, thank them for visiting, and see them on their merry way out again.
What stops most people is the uncertainty of what to say, and how to word affirmations for optimal effectiveness. Below you’ll find some simple tips to help you write effective affirmations for improving your self-esteem.
1) Present tense. First, it’s helpful to word affirmations in present tense, not future. You wouldn’t want to say, “I will learn to love myself” because that makes it sound like you’ll get around to it “someday.” Instead you could say, “I choose to love myself.” The wording of that affirmation does two things: it empowers you with the addition of the words “choose to,” and it puts the timeframe in the present moment.
2) Believable. At the same time, your affirmations should be believable to you. If you tried to say, “I am a wonderful person with a lot to offer the world,” you may not really believe that, so your subconscious mind might reject it. Instead, try to focus on a process rather than an end result in your affirmations. Say something like, “I am embrace my uniqueness and share it confidently with others.”
3) Use the right tone. When you recite affirmations, you can do so aloud (preferred) or just mentally (only if you must), but you should focus heavily on the TONE you use. Rather than saying the words without emotion like you were reading a newspaper – really inject an element of love and tenderness into them. Your subconscious mind picks up on the emotional aspect of what you’re saying more than the actual words. Imagine the difference between saying the words, “I really love myself” with a tone of love and compassion, or sarcasm. Which do you think would have a greater impact on your subconscious mind?
4) Ownership. Make sure the affirmation is about YOU. You canNOT make an affirmation that involves another person’s initiative. As much as I’d love to, the affirmation “My daughter will clean her room every day before she goes to bed at night” will FAIL, because it is NOT in my control.
5) Repetition. Once you’ve got some affirmations formed to work on your self-esteem, try saying them several times a day. Remember, your subconscious mind is constantly playing back old, negative messages – so you want to counteract those as much as possible. Keep reciting your more positive thoughts on a regular basis – especially when you become aware that you’re thinking negatively about yourself.
6) Give it time. Finally, remember that it will take time to change those old, negative messages in your mind to something more positive. It may take a few weeks or even months before you’ll notice an obvious difference in how you feel, and you may be tempted to think it isn’t working. Keep with it, and you will begin to see a difference eventually! Most likely it will be a gradual change. Little by little you’ll start feeling more positive, and notice that you’re feeling a bit happier and lighter. That’s your signal that it’s working!
To your ultimate success my friend!