Tag Archives: Asking

Asking Questions Could be a Sure Way of Dealing With Anger

Every human will get angry. Some anger even produces good results. But anger that hurts others need to be managed. So now there are many anger management techniques developed by experts. Dealing with anger will increase your society status. On the other hand if you shout or hit someone when you are angry then you will lose your esteem.

You can deal with anger by following some simple steps. If you are extremely angry, then immediately talk to your best friend. It will reduce your anger and can keep you calm. IF you bottle up anger then your health will be affected. Another thing you can do is that count up to 10. This will avoid using harsh words to other person.

Engage yourself in some physical activity like gardening, cleaning windows or carpets or play with your children. This will make you forget the unpleasant experience that made you angry. Listen to good music. Many experts believe that music will provide a soothing relief to disturbed mind. Even sing along with the music can keep you calm.

You can also think about some pleasant past experiences or plan your vacation while you are angry. This will help to reduce the amount of anger.

Every body will get angry. It is not possible not to get angry always. But dealing with anger will bring you good name and status in the society. It is in your hand to make a angry situation better or worse. But remember in any way you should express your anger. Otherwise anger inside you will harm your health. But express the anger politely without hurting others. Words expressed in anger even lead to family break ups. So just change your mood by watching a good movie, listening a good music etc.

If you are arguing with your friend or life partner and when the argument tends to end up in fight then change the situation by a sudden wit. Spontaneity will help you manage the situation well.

Expressing anger in healthy ways is a technique that all must learn. Self awareness and self control are the essential tools that can deal anger. If you get angry think for a while about what you are feeling. Postponing the anger will help more. Self control is important because you have to think twice before you act.

Asking questions can help to deal with anger. When you get angry ask yourself what will be the reactions if you get angry. Also think whether you will feel guilty after some years if you express anger. Think well if it is possible to forget and forgive the other person who makes you angry.

Muna wa Wanjiru Has Been Researching and Reporting on Anger for Years. For More Information on Dealing With Anger, Visit His Site at DEALING WITH ANGER

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Asking the Right Questions Improves Stress Management

This article discusses how our inner questioning plays a significant role in stress management. Throughout the day we have an internal conversation which often takes the form of asking questions about the events we experience. It’s these questions that we need to become aware of as they impact directly on the way we perceive a situation.

When experiencing a stressful event we often start to ask silent questions in our minds, without even being aware of it. For example, when thinking about a stressful situation you may ask yourself:

Why is life always so difficult?

What have I done to deserve this?

What was I thinking?

Why is this happening to me?

These types of questions are what I call poor quality questioning because they affirm you as a victim of your circumstances and produce feelings of stress. They also don’t make you feel any better about your situation. They sabotage our stress management capability.

When you ask yourself the question: Why is life always so difficult? you’re setting yourself up for a pessimistic outlook by reaffirming that life is difficult and that you are powerless against its hardships. Is life really difficult all the time or would it be more accurate to say that sometimes we face challenges that need to be overcome and they are part of the journey of our lives?

A valuable stress management technique is to be constantly aware of the questions you are asking yourself because poor quality questions often create feelings of stress and prevent you from being optimistic by focusing your thoughts on all the negative aspects of your situation. These thoughts often snowball and, before you know it, you become stressed and anxious. By checking your inner questioning and ensuring that you’re asking good quality questions your feelings of stress will be kept at bay and your stress management improves.

So how do you turn poor quality questions into constructive ones? The first step is to become aware of your poor quality questions and to make a conscious effort to be mindful of your inner chatter. Observe self-talk closely and keep continual watch over it.

The next step in this stress management tool is to become aware of the harmful nature of poor quality questions and the stress it can create. When you are mindful of the questions you are asking yourself, you’ll be able to identify if they are of poor quality and how to replace these with constructive questions.

Here are a few questions to consider:

What can I learn from this experience?

How can I use this situation to learn more about myself?

Where is the opportunity in this problem?

How can I ensure that I don’t repeat the situation?

How can I use this experience to learn patience and tolerance?

How could I have prevented this problem?

What can I do differently next time?

By consciously asking yourself questions like these you reframe a potentially stressful situation into one that can be a valuable experience for you and begin to take more control of your stress management ability.

Putting it into practise

To apply this in practise start by becoming aware of your inner questioning throughout the day. Focus your awareness on what questions you’re asking yourself silently in your mind; it’s this inner chatter that you need to become more familiar with. Once you are aware of your inner questioning it will be easier to recognise poor quality questions when they arise.

Let’s use a practical stress management example to see how we can change poor quality questioning in a stressful situation.

You’ve been asked to report on an important project that you’ve been responsible for in a weekly work meeting. Unfortunately, things have not gone according to plan and you need to tell everyone why the project is no longer on track.

Response 1: Poor quality questioning (usual default thinking)

While you’re waiting to deliver your report your mind starts to stream poor quality questions. You start asking yourself: What are they going to think of me? What if they take me off this project? How will I ever get that bonus I want?

You start feeling stressed and anxious.

Response 2: Using constructive questioning (a great stress management tip)

While you’re waiting your mind starts asking quality questions. You ask yourself: How can I use this situation to my advantage? What lessons have I learned from this experience? What if I focus on showing them my problem solving abilities and the benefits that this challenging situation has brought about?

You start to see a solution to your stressful situation and begin to relax.

Asking constructive questions helps your stress management in challenging circumstances and maintains a positive state of mind.

Get to know the content of your inner chatter and be mindful of any negative questioning that may sabotage your feelings of optimism and stress management capability.

If you find that your questioning is creating a pessimistic view of a situation, change your focus by asking yourself positive questions. You’ll become open to a way of thinking that supports you in life’s challenges.

InnerCents specialised in stress management, leadership training and executive coaching.