Many people who come to me tell me “I have realized that I need to increase my self-esteem, but I really don’t know how”.
Switching from low to high self-esteem is nothing that you do overnight. There are no magic cures. Even I, as a self-esteem coach, has no magic wand that I can wave over you so that you suddenly start to love yourself.
Moving towards a higher self-esteem is very much about exchanging the thoughts that fill your head with new ones. Think about it, your self-esteem is built up of your thoughts – the thoughts that you think about yourself. All the thoughts that you have ever thought about yourself have now accumulated into the sense of self-worth (or lack of self-worth) that you are feeling now.
It would be really easy if you could simply buy a set of new thoughts at the supermarket, or go to a surgeon who opened your brain took the old stuff out and put some new fresh stuff in. Unfortunately, exchanging your old way of thinking for a more resourceful one will cost you both time and effort.
Think about how you have acquired the thoughts that fill your daily life now. You have been influenced by your family, school, media, the society you live in and so on. In other words you have been brainwashed 24 hours a day since you were born! It may not take equally long time to start thinking more useful thoughts but it may take you a lot of effort because you need to unlearn everything that you have learnt up to this point in your life.
The solution? Brainwash yourself with positive thoughts about yourself!
How? Ok, here some of my favourite techniques:
– Write affirmations – Affirmations are basically the new thoughts that you have decided that you want to think, for example “I am so happy and grateful that I have so many friends that love me” or “I feel and look so beautiful and sexy that I’m simply irresistible”. Put the affirmations in all places where you can be reminded of them, on the fridge, in the car, on the bathroom mirror, on your bedside table, in your wallet….
– Stand in front of a mirror and give yourself compliments. Try to do it for at least 1 minute. Your brain will create new pathways between the positive words that you say and the image of yourself.
– Stand in front of a mirror and smile at yourself (for at least one minute). This may feel even more stupid than giving yourself compliments, but it is superb for creating pathways in your brain between you and a happy feeling.
– Create a playlist with music that really cheers you up. Brainwash yourself with lyrics that tell you that you are wonderful! This is an easy and very pleasant way to put new thoughts into your head.
– Write down a list of things that you did well during the day every day before you go to sleep. This will help you to start looking for the positive things that you do in your life.
– Hypnotise yourself! Yes, hypnosis actually works and there are hypnosis CDs customised especially for increasing self-esteem. Have a look on the web!
– Get a coach to help you! I would be more than happy to bombard you with new resourceful thoughts and make sure they stick in your head!
If you want help to find out other ways to brainwash yourself to a higher self-esteem or want to book at free coaching session, visit www.livmiyagawa.com!
Liv Miyagawa – The Self-Esteem Coach