You Can be Great If You Really Want To

Anger

The average person experiences 15 anger situations per day. You can choose to nurture the anger and make yourself sick or you can choose to fix what you can and accept what you cannot change.

Anger reveals information about people’s values and personal constructs of importance. What makes you angry? Is it reasonable and/or productive to get all upset over these things?

Expression of anger for men and women is often dictated/indicated by their particular culture. How do you express anger? Sarcasm? Aggression? Depression? Physical illness such as ulcers, indigestion, cancer…

Exercise, venting and time-out are often good strategies to dissipate the adrenaline, but are not effective for coping with anger. You still have to either fix/change what made you angry or change the way you feel about it by looking at the positive or just accepting it.

Coping with anger requires people to recognize what caused the anger and modify that stressor or perceptions about that stressor. Good communication, fair fighting and self-awareness are all important components for anger management.It is important for people to know their personal anger styles, triggers and most effective anger management skills.

Fear

There are six basic human fears: failure, rejection, the unknown, death, isolation and loss of control.

Most of the time when people experience anger, if they look deeper they can find that this situation caused them to feel one of the six basic fears.

The reason people experience this fear is often because of something they learned growing up. What messages did you get about success/failure? How were you taught to deal with the unknown? What messages were you given about being in control? Were you raised that you need to be liked by everyone?

Summary

Get a piece of paper. Draw four columns. In the first column, spend 20 minutes writing down all of the things that make you angry or irritated. Next to each anger trigger, write why that makes you angry. In the third column, identify where you were taught/who taught you that value. Now assess the trigger. If it is not something that is really worth getting upset over, place an X in the column. If it is something that is changeable, write how you will change it so you get less angry.

Now you have a plan for handling your anger triggers. Whenever a new trigger arises, add it to your chart. More suggestions can be found at Doctor-Is-In the sister site of the Counselor’s Community or Counselor Continuing Education and Self-Help Manuals .

Related Blogs

• Anger Management or Inconsistent Ramblings?
• Marriage Counseling For Anger Management
• Try These Anger Management Techniques | Mark Warburton

Stress management is the controlling and reducing of tension that occurs in stressful situations. Everyone copes with stress everyday. “I’m SO stressed out!” – It seems like you hear it all the time from nearly every one you know . Most people are unprepared to deal with stressors that trigger feelings that can make us sick. Literally, sick.

The statistics are staggering. Research conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health has shown that anxiety disorders are the number one mental health problem among American women and are second only to alcohol and drug abuse by men. One in every eight Americans age 18-54 suffers from an anxiety disorder. This totals over 19 million people! Anxiety is the most common mental health issue facing adults over the age of 65. Treating anxiety disorders costs the U.S. $46.6 billion annually.

Health Psychology magazine reports that chronic stress can interfere with the normal function of the body’s immune system. And studies have proven that stressed individuals are more vulnerable to allergic, autoimmune, and cardiovascular diseases.

Stress often prompts people to respond in unhealthy ways such as smoking, drinking alcohol, eating poorly, or becoming physically inactive. This causes damage to the mind and body.

There are 3 common types of stress:

Mini-stress – the annoying hassles of day to day life: – Heavy traffic – Cells phones with no power

Moderate-stress – the more significant day-to-day hassles that comes from deadlines and time pressures constraints – Project deadline at work – Holidays

Severe-stress – those events that are traumatic long term or permanent – Divorce or separation – Loss of job

Although there is no definitive answer to any of specific stressor you may experience, it’s your coping skills that support your ability to manage stress.

Here are 7 coping skills to stress proof your life.

1.Know how to relax – find a quiet place, get comfy make sure your body is well supported. Breath slowly and deeply.

2. Eat right and exercise often – avoid caffeine and refined sugar, eat dairy products which may improve your mood. Make exercise a part of your daily life-even if it’s only taking the stairs instead of the elevator or parking at the far end of the lot.

3. Learn it is OK to say ‘no’. Often, many of us feel we have to say ‘yes’ to everyone, every time we’re asked for help. You can’t be all things to all people. You must first meet your own needs before you can truly give others what they need.

4. Take a mini-vacation from stress. If you can find fifteen minutes a day, or one hour a week if daily isn’t possible, make a date with yourself. Schedule a walk around the block, lunch in the park, a sunrise or sunset alone, a bubble bath without interruptions.

5. Make time for yourself, your number one priority; once your own needs are met you will find you have more time for others. And you may find more pleasure in helping others when you don’t feel that you must always put others needs before your own.

6. Go outside and enjoy Mother Nature. A little sunshine and activity can have amazing ramifications on your stress level and will enhance your entire outlook towards life. Your improved attitude will have a positive effect on everyone. Not only will you be less stressed, you will be healthier, happier, and more energetic; ready to face whatever obstacles come your way.

7. Have a good sense of humor. Be a resource to yourself. Try something new, learn to play again. Laugh. Laughter releases endorphins, chemicals in the brain that restore calm.

Stress management and how you cope with stress is part of your daily life. It’s how you react to stress that makes all the difference in maintaining your health and well-being. Just like causes of stress differ from person to person, what relieves stress is not the same for everyone. You’ll never completely get rid of stress, but you can learn to manage stress with coping techniques that work for you. I hope that I’ve given you some great ideas on how you can deal with stress.