You Can be Great If You Really Want To

We need to be positive in our thinking and attitudes when trying to improve our own self esteem. For helping others we also need to use a positive approach, and help them see their self worth and value too.

If we ourselves feel our self esteem benefits from receiving encouragement and supportive treatment by others, then clearly we can help others by encouraging them and reassuring them that they are valued and respected by us.

Not everyone is brought up in an environment where it is normal to give complements or pats on the back. Not everyone is used to this. It does feel good though, to hear that you have done something well, or have dealt with something in the right way.

My husband and I have a deal that every Saturday morning we use all our endeavours to be loving and supportive, and not to disagree. It’s the week end, and after a week at work we are both tired and would like to relax, we don’t always want to do the household chores and maintenance jobs that are necessary. Somehow there is always so much to do on a Saturday, so Saturday mornings can be stressful.

The deal is that we agree with each other, and congratulate each other for every good idea or suggestion. This is good practice at being nice and supportive to each other when we are both feeling tired. And it always brings a smile to both of our faces, and a reason for a hug and some mutual nurturing.

It helps us remember that the chores and jobs are less important than our support for each other and the need to care for each other.

Part of the commitment within family life is to give mutual support and encouragement. Sometimes we forget. Sometimes our egos or our schedules just get in the way. Sometimes we can be unforgiving, critical and judgmental.

However it is within our family that we can provide most help and support, and within our family that we can most benefit from it too.

Isn’t it generally the case that when two people meet and fall in love, they smile at the whole world. When you are in love you want everyone else to be happy too. As relationships develop it can be hard to feel that euphoria with the world and our loved ones on an every day basis. Every day just creeps in and we act differently. We forget to smile at each other, and don’t feel like spreading warmth and joy like chocolate chips to everyone we meet.

It is time to stop and think. What are some of the principles of happiness, confidence and good self esteem?

- Making our health and well one of our priorities.

- Nurturing ourselves.

- Respecting ourselves, our bodies and our minds.

- Respecting others.

So if we start to see how much happier we can be in our family lives if we make the effort to remember to be kind, supportive, and generous with praise and affection, we can help each other, and help ourselves.

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Building self-esteem is a lifelong process which is established at childhood. The way a child feels about himself/herself is often reflected in how they act. Often times, parents are one of the biggest influences of early self-esteem development. The way that they act and behave around their children on a daily bases is reflected greatly in the way a child feels about himself/herself. So what can parents do in order to ensure that their children grow up with a positive attitude towards life?

One way that a parent can encourage healthy self-esteem in a child is to instill in them a sense of belonging. Make sure that the way you act and talk to your child is always positive. Remember not only to tell your child that you love him or her, but also to show it. Children who are loved by their families are more likely to feel more confident around others. Another way to help your child develop healthy self esteem is to offer them praise when praise is earned. Children learn how well they are doing by the parents’ reactions to their behavior. So if your son or daughter has done something worth praise, make sure that you don’t miss the opportunity to do so. There is a rule which states that a parent should offer praise at least twice as often as they criticize. So if you have to criticize your child on a given day, be sure that you also offer them praise twice that day.

And last but not least, children learn best how to work with others by first learning how to work within the family. So include your child in appropriate family discussions and functions. Also try to give your child a few age appropriate responsibilities. These are just some of the ways that you can ensure that your child will develop healthy self-esteem.

Here’s an exercise for you that could reap some nice rewards. Gather a group, personal friends or business associates. Write on a piece of paper or white board a focus for the meeting such as developing a vision statement for college, a job or reaching your business goals comfortably.

Each member should answer questions from a group perspective. They discuss their answers with one another, coming to an agreement. They then write down the group response.

“Members need to provide honest and complete answers to a series of questions that relate to you or your business future” states author Don Midgett of Mission and Vision Statements: Your Path to a Successful Business Future. “These exercise questions can be used in any effort or circumstance for understanding what you desire to accomplish.”

1. What would you or your business like to become or develop into over the next three to five years?

     Vision is a declaration of a desired future – no wonder many colleges are asking for mission statements and vision statements on applications!

      Vision also has to be agreed upon with business colleagues by clear communication.  It is the communication on this vision statement that will allow you to determine and reach the goals that will carry you to the vision.

2. What makes you or your business unique or distinctive?

      Consider both personal and business beliefs and values. How do you hold the vision?

“The answers soon reveal themselves as to who you are and how you will manifest the vision whether in your personal or business life” Midgett writes.

3. What excellence or special expertise do you or your business offer?

      Always work or manage out of a sense of vision, not out of a sense of desperation or someone else’s fears.

4. In your personal or business future, the measure of success is __________________.

Select words and phrases that have meaning for you and your group, make a list of them and then work them into a visionary sentence or two to develop your personal vision statement.  Continue to read the statement for a few weeks, daily, and make the changes that you will want, as you re-read it every day.

The benefit of this exercise is that you will soon approach many decisions in your personal or business life with confidence that you are in alignment with your real ideas on success and your desired future.

For more on mission statements, vision statements and leadership development go to http://www.missionvisionstatement.com.