You Can be Great If You Really Want To

Most of the time, anger is beyond ones’ control. It is one of the feelings that we, humans, experience in our life. When we are angry, there were times when we were advice to cool and calm. But most of the time we realize that it can be a challenging task to handle the anger especially in a challenging situation. There are steps that one can learn to manage anger.

For example, Pete kept getting angry and frustrated with himself for being disorganized and kept misplacing his items. What are the ways Pete can use to handle such situation? Firstly, every time when he encounters such problems, he should reaffirm himself. Instead of saying I am terrible at organizing, he can reaffirm himself by saying that I am so glad that I am able to have another wonderful learning opportunity to learn and improve my organizational skills.

Secondly, when he is angry, he can learn to find to a ‘relax’ spot. The spot must be away from incident area. Here, he can control his breathing to relax and release the tension and anger in him. Thirdly, another option in controlling and managing his anger, Pete can use is to find avenues to release his anger positively. For example, he can use sports such as swimming for individuals’ sports and soccer for team sports. Enjoying and exercising well can be one great method to be more relax and reduce anger in tense situation.

Fourthly, he can learn to be accountable for his actions. Being accountable for his actions, he will enable to handle his anger better with his sense of responsibilities. A person who takes charge of his mistakes tends to take charge of tense situation better. Fifthly, anger is built and controlled by the mind. Train the mind to view things as a learning process. As part of the learning process about anger management, learn to speak the words wisely and consistently. For example, when Pete makes a mistake, instead of getting angry instantly, he can tell himself what he can learn from the experience. Through such consistency acts given above in handling such situations, he can develop to control his feelings and anger better.

Similar to Pete, we encounter anger which is part of our feelings and life. With preventive measures taken, anger can be reduced and controlled greatly. Such anger management can result is a better, happier and positive lifestyle.

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There are many methods for goal setting, some more successful than others but it is important to understand that whatever your goal may be it is highly likely that someone else has already achieved what you are setting out to do, or at least something very similar. So it is possible, you just need to formulate your plan.

It’s important that you take time to research the subject concerned. Visit your local library, buy magazines and books on the topic, and surf the net to find Websites where you find out as much as you can about it. Then concentrate on clearly and concisely writing out your plan.

It’s essential that you have a structured approach and your plan should feature the following areas:

Accurate Description

You must write down clearly what you want to achieve. For example, if you want to start a business what sort of business is it? Do you want to work alone or with a partner? Do you want to work from home or will you require business premises? For how many hours do you want to work in the business? And how will you measure its success? Be precise about the details or else it will simply not happen.

Priorities

You must be sure what your priorities are. Be careful not to set targets that are unrealistic in the context of your life. Be sure not to overstretch yourself or to commit to things that will cause you to neglect your loved ones.

Obstacles

Examine what may stand in the way of you achieving your aims. How can you overcome any obstacles? Be as honest and thorough as you can even if it means confronting areas of your own personality or your own abilities.

Timescale

Your objectives must be timed so be clear in stating when you intend to achieve them. This may be weeks but it could be years. Be honest and realistic in defining your timescales.

Measures

You must have a way of measuring your progress towards your goal. You must regularly review how far you have gone and ensure that it is a written record of some form. Maybe you could keep a journal or a diary. Set targets for set periods of days, months, years etc and monitor your progress.

Motivation

You must understand your motives for setting the goal. What are your reasons for doing what you are doing? Be prepared to accept that what you want may change. So be flexible and make alterations to your goals if need be. Don’t let the pursuit of your goals become a chore.

And one other tip; write your goals in the present tense rather than the future. Use sentences like: “I am running my own successful business from home”; “I live in a large 5 bedroom house with a swimming pool and a paddock and stables for my two horses”; “I am a confident and happy person.”

That way your mind will accept more readily what it is you want to achieve and the steps you need to take to do so. Plan your goals carefully and by following these strategies you will succeed.

Traditional goal setting does not work as effectively as most ‘experts’ would have you believe.

This is because there is one factor, one key, a missing link, which, without it, you’d simply have no motivation to go about doing the things you are supposed to do to bring about the achievement of your goal.

And that is the big picture. What do I mean by the big picture?

The big picture is like a vision. It’s an obsession. A passion. A dream. A big, grand, bold dream that you have for your life.

In other words, it is a purpose. A life purpose.

I know these may all sound like big words to you, but the point here is for you to have an ultimate purpose for all your goals in life. What most people have are goals for material objects or for career advancements or monetary gains.

Most people, and I didn’t say all, merely stop at these ‘bite-sized pieces’, these small goals when it comes to goal setting. They don’t continue on to think about why they set these goals and for what even bigger purpose do they set these goals.

Ask yourselves – why do I want this new Mercedes? Why do I want this big mansion? Why do I want to earn an extra $100,000 a year? Why do I want to have so and so person as my spouse? Why?

Keep asking why. And again, most people would realise that it comes down to a feeling or sense of fulfilment, happiness, of being loved, of being secure and safe, or of being free. Some people would just say, “I just want these things”.

Well, all that may sound good and fine but do you truly think that once you get that Mercedes or that big mansion or the extra $100,000 a year or that person as your spouse, you’d be truly happy, fulfilled, free, secure and alive?

Try and look back at one past goal which you have achieved. Take a look at one milestone which you’ve already gone through. Do you find yourself something saying something like, “And now what”?

Most of us do. That’s because we don’t have that biggest, ultimate, most grand purpose for our lives. The reason why we are born. Some people call it destiny, or phrase it as “God’s place for you in the world”. Whatever it is, don’t think of it as something beyond your power.

This thing called purpose or the big picture is a thing that is both within your power to choose and also outside your power to choose. It is the sum total of all your life choices from the day you were born up to this very day.

The proof that it is within your power to choose is the fact that you’d been making all the choices and decisions in your life all this while, asking for this and that, regardless of whether or not you get what you asked for, to build up an image, a vision or The Big Picture of your life, which is your ultimate life purpose – that reason you were born and the thing that you must fulfill in your life before you die.

Whereas the proof that it is also beyond your power to choose is the fact that you already have made all those choices before in your past and there is little or nothing you can do to alter those choices you’ve made in the past. There are some decisions we made which we can undo, but not without a significant amount of trouble, and there are many decisions we simply cannot undo.

This is the irony of human life and why it is beautiful to be human.

But if you are sitting right there where you are, reading this post, you still have hope. You do still have a chance. Create for yourself a grand vision of your life – why you are here on this earth. Conceive big, bold dreams.

Imagine you are a historian or a scholar studying the history of your life. What would you like to be remembered for? What would you like to be famous for? What would you like to be associated with whenever your name is mentioned?

Write an essay about yourself, as if you were a historian in the future, looking back into your life. Include all the glorious things you have achieved, and even the flaws, the mistakes and huge failures you’ve made. But also include how you’ve transcended these flaws, mistakes and failures. Write about the difference you’ve made to the world, no matter how small (or big) it is.

Have you left behind a wonderful family? Have you left behind a legacy? Have you left behind a successful business? Or simply a happy memory in the mind of a person you’ve helped in a small or big way?

Now, after you’ve done this exercise, you may proceed with your traditional goal setting methods. Create sub-goals out of this big goal of your life. Create the secondary goals to this primary goal. Set the milestone goals that would define your ultimate life purpose.

What this does to you is create a certain insurance or feeling of security, because, although you may fail to achieve your small goals (no matter how bold they seem to be), you’re still on track because you have not lost sight of your ultimate life goal.