If you have low self esteem, you’re probably obsessed with yourself. Which is just a backwards form of conceit.
If you have low self-esteem, you think you’re special. No-one is as low as you. No-one is as undeserving as you. Everyone else in the world may be deserving of being treated well, of having good relationships, financial success, good health, spiritual connection, or whatever it is that you think you don’t deserve. Probably all of that.
Here’s the thing: if you encountered someone else who thought the way you do, you’d probably think something like, “no-one deserves to have such hard luck.” Or “everyone deserves good health, and success, and good relationships.”
In other words, you’re harder on yourself than anyone else. Somehow you’re so unique, so special, that ordinary human rights and dreams don’t apply to you. It’s kind of like what they call “terminal uniqueness” in the recovery movement. Nothing ever works out for you, or ever will, and you certainly don’t deserve to have things go your way anyhow.
Now before you bite my head off, let me say that you may not agree with anything I said intellectually. That is, you’ll realize it doesn’t really make any sense, but if you’re honest with yourself you’ll admit that that’s exactly how you feel anyway. You think one way, and feel exactly the opposite.
Here’s a secret: when there’s a battle between the heart and the mind, guess which one wins? (Hint: it’s not the head!) Every time.
So what’s all this about the pride of humility, then? You have to have enough pride in yourself to realize that you are just as worthy, just as deserving of happiness and a rewarding life as any other human being. You have to be humble enough to realize you’re just like everybody else, and completely unique at the same time. Just like everybody else.
We don’t rate human beings on a scale. So-and-so doesn’t measure up to my standards, so he or she gets to be stranded at the station when the train of life’s goodies comes by. Or maybe so-and-so really gets good grades on my scale, so she or he gets an extra freightcar load of goodies.
Here’s the point: you’re a human being. That qualifies you to get on the happy train. If any human being deserves it, so do you. Get over yourself. You’re as good as anyone else, as deserving of anyone else. Even if you’ve really screwed up, you deserve a second, third, fourth and endless chances just like anyone else.
The real problem with all of this is not that you can’t follow the logic. It’s that your internal programs are screaming in denial so loudly that you literally cannot keep this thought in your mind in relation to yourself and believe it. On a scale of 0 to 10 where 0 equal completely false, and 10 equals completely true, if you ask yourself how true is it that you believe that you’re worthy of a good life, you’re going to come in under 5. I’m guessing well under 5.
Well, the good news is that there are ways to rewrite those internal programs once and for all, and it’s not going to take five years of therapy and tens of thousands of dollars to do it, although once in a while that actually helps. You don’t have to look in the mirror and bombard yourself with endless affirmations that you don’t believe either, although that’s been known to help also.
What works neatly, quickly and efficiently is energy medicine, or energy psychology. There are quite a few excellent methods and techniques available, and you need to find the one that resonates with you. I use meridian tapping techniques, and in particular Matrix Reimprinting, because I have found it to be especially helpful with long standing issues like this, but find what works and feels comfortable for you.
When you start to really feel comfortable in your skin, it’s a great feeling. Do yourself – and everyone around you – a favor, and don’t deprive yourself of it.
For more information, go to: http://theweboflight.com/paGE6.HTML
You might also be interested in my blog: http://gentlehealingtouch.blogspot.com/
Dr. Webb is a Holistic Life Coach, and creator of The Web of Light Holistic Coaching System. He is board certified by the American Association of Drugless Practitioners as a Holistic Health Practitioner. He is trained in advanced MTT and as a Matrix Reimprinting practitioner. He is a Certified Reiki Master, an ordained minister, and a certified chaplain. Dr. Webb holds a Master’s Degree in Metaphysics from the University of Metaphysics and a Doctor of Divinity from the American Institute of Holistic Theology.