You Can be Great If You Really Want To

They say there’s more than one way to skin a cat. The same goes when you start tearing your hair out with all the frustration, grief, anxiety, and yes, stress. It’s a state of mental conditioning that is like taking that bitter pill down your throat, causing you to lose your sense of self, and worse your sanity. Just thinking about it can drive anyone off the edge.

And they say that the proactive ones are already living off the edge.

As one stressed-out person to another, I know how it feels, and believe me there are many variants when it comes to stress. Coping with life, and carrying the problems that may or may not belong to you can scratch away the little joy and happiness that you can carry once you head out that door. You can’t blame them for being like that; they have their own reasons, so much like we have our reasons to allow stress to weigh us down. They say that stress is all in the mind, well, what’s bugging you anyway?

There are several ways to manage stress, and eventually remove it out of your life one of these days. So I’ll try to divide it into a seven-day course for you and I promise it’s not going to be too taxing on the body, as well as on the mind.

1. Acknowledge stress is good
Make stress your friend! Based on the body’s natural “fight or flight” response, that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. I’ve yet to see a top sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most.

2. Avoid stress sneezers
Stressed people sneeze stress germs indiscriminately and before you know it, you are infected too!

Protect yourself by recognizing stress in others and limiting your contact with them. Or if you’ve got the inclination, play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage themselves.

3. Learn from the best
When people around are losing their head, who keeps calm? What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they trained and experienced?
Figure it out from afar or sit them down for a chat. Learn from the best stress managers and copy what they do.

4. Practice socially acceptable heavy breathing
This is something I’ve learned from a gym instructor: You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.

5. Give stressy thoughts the red light
It is possible to tangle yourself up in a stress knot all by yourself. “If this happens, then that might happen and then we’re all up the creek!” Most of these things never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying needlessly?

Give stress thought-trains the red light and stop them in their tracks. Okay so it might go wrong – how likely is that, and what can you do to prevent it?

6. Know your trigger points and hot spots
Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines…. My heart rate is cranking up just writing these down!

Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does one project cause more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee?

Knowing what causes you stress is powerful information, as you can take action to make it less stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? Do you need to switch to decaf?

7. Burn the candle at one end
Lack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise wreaks havoc on our body and mind. Kind of obvious, but worth mentioning as it’s often ignored as a stress management technique. Listen to your mother and don’t burn the candle at both ends!

So having stress can be a total drag, but that should not hinder us to find the inner peace of mind that we have wanted for a long time. In any case, one could always go to the Bahamas and bask under the summer sun.

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In a world full of pressures, tension and anxiety, stress management is not a luxury. Often, the lack of effective stress management can lead to missed opportunities, underperformance, decline in interpersonal relationships and health problems. Most importantly, a stressed out person can never be happy or grow to their potential. This is why it is important to practice effective stress management techniques in your daily life, regardless of whether you are a homemaker, a top-notch executive or a savvy politician.

A number of stress management techniques like deep breathing, Yoga, massage, meditation and visualization can effectively help you fight stress. But these are activities that require some amount of free, personal time. Unfortunately, time is something most people do not have enough of these days. This is the #1 reason why most people continue to lead highly stressed, unhealthy lives. But what if there was a way in which you could relieve stress from your mind and body, while you are on the go?

This is where music as an effective stress management tool can help. Man has always been instinctively aware of the healing powers of music. The Bible talks about David playing on his harp to lift the spirits of King Saul. Ancient folklore talks about how kings were fond of listening to music during their free time. This is because music has the unique capacity to change moods and relieve stress instantly.

Our brain is wired to respond to the different tempos in different kinds of music. The brain automatically evokes sensations that can respond to a particular beat and rhythm. Lively beats enhance happiness and enthusiasm. Similarly, soft music has a cooling and soothing effect on the mind. On hearing the proper notes, the brain automatically synchronizes its left and right hemispheres. This healing capacity of music has made it one of the most effective stress management strategies in the modern era.

Our physical body and chakra centers or energy centers as they are better known, respond very specifically to different notes. What kind of music can help you is a matter of personal choice. There is no single kind of music that can be considered good for everyone. Generally, music with a slow rhythm and with repetitive cyclical patterns is very effective. The effect of stress relaxation strategies, particularly that of music, on the body is clear. The first effect is the initiation of unconscious deep breathing. The body begins to release serotonin, decreases the heart rate and promotes a slightly higher body temperature. All these are signs that the body is beginning to relax. The best part about this stress management strategy is that you can listen to your favorite piece of music any time of the day and at any place. You can truly and effectively recharge your batteries even when you are on the go.

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What this statement means is that the tools to rebuild your self esteem is actually within us. We have the faculties needed to put back the light in the dark within us, and make us the confident and elated person that we were always were in the first place. There are many things we can talk about to say what causes low self esteem, and this phenomenon can be traced all the way back to when we were children and the things that we were exposed to and the things that we were told by the people around us.

When guardians or parents keep saying that things cannot be done, there is an adverse effect on their self esteem and this can be carried within the person all the way until they are young adults and even beyond. The good news is that this is not permanent, there is no such thing as a permanent problem with low self esteem, and there is always a way to turn things around. The good news about this is that there is no complicated method that you need to employ when thinking about the kind of methods you need to rebuild yourself, and in fact, the tools are within you as a person.

One of the things you need to understand that it is all about mindset and how you perceive yourself as a person. We all have our individual gifts and abilities, and we need to understand that there are fundamental problems with how we use these gifts and sometimes, it is the misuse that brings us down. For example, when someone continues to hit the wall to try to become a singer, they have to understand that maybe they were not born to be a singer. When we try to do something that is not within our internal skill set, then you will come across failure and with failure; it is the all important ingredient that brings people down. So what you need to do is to avoid failure and this is not talking about avoiding competition or environments where you will be tested, but make sure you are well equipped to either combat and perform, or well equipped to learn as well.

This is the most important thing you need to know about and this is the most important mistake that most people make and this is how they develop low self esteem. You also need to create a list of strengths that you have as well as the successes that you have achieved over the past few years. This is a feel good list that all people need to have, whether or not they have self esteem issues or not. Everyone needs a boost once in a while, and it this boost that stops them from sinking further and further down into a rut. This is what this article means when you have self esteem help right at your doorstep. You are the biggest difference to yourself.