You Can be Great If You Really Want To

Self esteem and weight loss constitute one of the main concerns of parents, teenagers and the general adult population. Often, the link if inextricable and many people go to great lengths to improve their outward, physical image.

The growing problem with obesity

The problem with obesity emerged even before the first World War, and has continually increased exponentially in many Western countries. People suffering from clinical obesity are getting younger and younger, and mortality rates are of course inversely affected. Sufferers of clinical obesity often suffer from a myriad of associate illnesses, such as coronary heart disease, diabetes and an increased risk of stroke and heart attack.

Self esteem and weight loss is not just about appearance. Society’s prejudgments may be harsh at best, but at the same time, it’s a good way of encouraging especially the young ones to keep their weight under control.

Teenage obesity

In the United States, the increased dependence of people on fast food has contributed significantly to teenage obesity. Children who have literally been brought up on take out food are more likely to overeat in their later years than children who were brought up on home-cooked, organic meals.

The fast food chains might be quick to dismiss such an accusation, but it is a proven fact that fast food contains twice or thrice as much fat and sugars than regular, cooked meals. Take out counters abound key cities in the United States, and with the kind of rush-hour lifestyle that many people practice, it’s no surprise that self esteem and weight loss continues to be significant.

Avoidance is key

We know that it’s hard not to depend on take out food, especially during lunch time and snack times. But there has to be a concerted effort to reduce such consumption because only then will the obesity rate go down. Also, the rise of uncontrolled consumption of chocolate, soda products and other junk foods have also contributed to the decade high statistics. There’s just no other way to do it; control has to be imposed on eating and inactivity.

Self esteem and weight loss will forever be intertwined issues- because society places a premium on those who look slim and fit. Society might not be fair many times in a person’s lifetime, but it’s best to take society’s advice with a grain of salt. If one is overweight, and there’s opportunity to remedy the condition, then it wouldn’t hurt to try.

There are many ways to start solving the problem. For teenagers, it seems that sports have a magnetic pull. But the question remains- what kind of sports, and how do you convince the Playstation generation to start moving?

An easy way to encourage children to begin sports is by showing complete support. Find a team, a good coach and help your child find a good set of sports buddies. Give your child a reason to want to continue playing a sport. Of course, it would be better if the child excels in the sport that he or she has chosen. Herein lies the role of the first and most important mediator- the parent.

Do you have anger management issues?  Most people do.  It seems as if every day we hear another report of someone doing something terrible as a result of losing their temper; it might be an incident of violence on a sporting field or some type of domestic violence, but whatever it is anger management issues seem to be at the root of many of these incidents.  So if you have a hard time controlling your temper you’re not alone.  However this doesn’t mean that you should just ignore the problem or assume that because many people are losing their tempers then it’s okay to lose yours.  When left unchecked anger and temper can cause harm to you physically and emotionally and great harm to those around you. So what are some common anger management issues that people are dealing with and how can you overcome them?  Let’s cover a few here.

A sense of entitlement is one of those common anger management issues that often gets in the way of an appropriate reaction to stressors and other circumstances.  When something happens that you deem is unfair or that you see as putting you at a disadvantage, you may get angry simply because you feel you deserve so much more.  You may also have a tendency to “keep score,” that is, to always compare your situation to someone else’s and see that they have more material things, earn more money, go on more vacations, drive a better car, and so on.  You feel entitled to those same things and so allow this type of thinking to become one of your anger management issues.  If you constantly tell yourself that you deserve so much more, of course you’re going to be constantly angry.  It helps to have a more modest and reasonable opinion of yourself and your circumstances.  Concentrate on what you do have and remind yourself of the many people that have so much less than you.

Other anger management issues include dwelling on past issues and problems.  You may find yourself reliving certain conversations or other circumstances that were unpleasant or traumatizing at the time, and then find yourself getting angry again and again.  It’s difficult to shut those things off but if you make a conscious effort to do so, you may find that you can shut down those voices and scenes from the past.  It also helps with these anger management issues to replace those thoughts with something positive.  When you notice yourself reliving those past events, immediately replace those thoughts with a positive one as if you’re changing a television channel. 

You can also deal with these types of anger management issues by making new, positive memories.  Take the initiative to plan times with friends and family or do some volunteer work.  This too takes work but sometimes just making the effort can make you feel better.  Try these methods to address your own anger management issues and you may find that you have much better self-control.

Self esteem is how we perceive our self, the way we value our self, the worth we put on our self as a person. Although this has nothing to do with how other people perceive us, it is about how we perceive other people to perceive us.

If we suffer from low self esteem we will feel very lowly about ourselves thus filling us with self doubt. We can end up doubting everything about us, including our appearance, intelligence, capability, how much people like us and the worth of what we have to say. We can feel very lonely and different from other people.

Low self esteem can be caused by many different things. It could be bullying or constantly being put down. Someone, very often a family member, telling the person that they are not doing well enough, that they are useless or worthless or a combination of all of those things.

Whatever the cause is, it makes little, if any, difference to how the person feels. The overwhelming feelings of being a lesser person, inadequate, useless or worthless, and above all – different!

This can happen at any age. Sometimes it can be in the very early, formative years of a child possibly living in the shadow of an older sibling, but could just as easily be at a much later time of life caused through a controlling relationship

These feelings can have a devastating effect on the person’s life, restricting them and stopping them from going to certain places. They may avoid some activities or associating with some people for very often the unnecessary fear of being ridiculed. This can stop them from making relationships or pursuing a particular career.

Abusing somebody, be it by bullying, controlling, putting them down by telling them how useless they are, or in any other way, will understandably give that person doubts about themselves. They will think why do people treat me like that? What is it about me that make others treat me like that? There must be something wrong with me. It is these negative thoughts that are the seeds of low self esteem.

When someone has those self doubts and negative thoughts it effects how they act. They avoid situations where they might feel uncomfortable. They act in a negative way and therefore, get a negative response from others making them feel even more negative. This starts a downward cycle of feeling negative, acting negative, getting a negative response, then feeling even more negative.

How other people perceive the sufferer is of enormous importance to them. Unfortunately, what they imagine others are thinking about them will invariably be negative.

So how can we overcome low self esteem? The first thing we should remember is that it will have probably taken a long time for our self esteem to have sunk so low. Going down that spiral of negative feeling, negative actions, getting negative response, making you feel more negative. So what we need to do is become more positive in the way we feel. As negative feelings grow so do positive feelings. To many of us the thought of changing from feeling and acting negative to positive is a massive step and so it is, but the good news is all we need to do is feel a little bit more positive and then allow that feeling to grow.

The thought of changing negative thoughts to positive ones for anyone suffering from low esteem can be very daunting, but all we need to do is start the process.

I have found with my clients if they can accept the fact that they are not as important to others as they feel they are, it can very often help them to start those positive feelings. It is a fact that the only people we are important to are those who love or care for us. It is ironic that it is these people that we all feel confident and comfortable with. To all others it is unimportant what we look like, what we wear, what we say or how we act, as they are unimportant to us. If we are walking along the street and we see someone fall over or walk into a lamp post we may feel sorry for them or have a little smile, but a few steps further we have seen something in a shop window and that person has gone from our thoughts forever because there are too many other things to think about, and that is how every one reacts.

If we accept what we are like is not that important to other people we need no longer worry about what they think about us, a very positive thought. It is only a start, but very often that first small, positive thought is all that is needed to allow the growing process to begin.

Add a relaxation therapy like hypnotherapy or aromatherapy to help the sufferer become more relaxed and calm, then those feelings can start to change and that negative, downward cycle can turn into an upward, positive one.