Life coaching is a process that can bring about positive changes in the lives of many persons through effective counseling. For that, the life coach needs to build a poignant and emotional relationship with his clients. A number of people have chosen life coaching as their career path but not everyone can become an effective life coach. It is difficult to find a life coach who would suit our particular requirements. The best way to find the right coach for you is to interview them. An expert on life offer a no-charge, no-obligation exploratory problem solving session, so make certain that you use this to your greatest advantage.

The best method for Finding A Life Coach, one who would be at a same synergy level as yours is to interview them before subscribing to their services. Many life coaches offer their services free of cost and some of them allow you to take a free trial or exploratory session for your benefit. The free trials will help you in analyzing his skills and whether you are experiencing the desired changes in your life. Interviewing him will help you to understand if that particular coach is the right one for you.

Life coaching is in fact an excellent way to improve the quality and value of your life. You can easily attain personal growth if you manage to Find A Life Coach for yourself. Partnering a proper life coach will help you in solving many of your problems which otherwise looks complex and overpowering. Take time out to conduct some research work before you chance upon the right coach. You can also use the internet for finding a life coach. If a particular coach impresses you, then you can surely give them a call and fix an appointment with him.

We deal with different problems in our life regularly. The more we solve them the more they crop up. Sometimes it becomes difficult to solve our own problems and we seek help from experts who knows how to handle these issues and solve them effectively. Expert On Life can draw plan of actions and strategies on how to cope with these problems and solve them.

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Most older people do not develop mental health problems, but a significant minority have dementia or experience problems such as depression.

Introduction

It is estimated that 18% of the general population in the UK are of pensionable age and that this figure will grow to 20% by 2025. As a society, we tend to assume that older people will develop mental health problems as a ‘normal’ aspect of ageing. Most older people do not develop mental health problems, although a significant minority does. For example:

about 25% of people over 85 have dementia.
between 10-15% of people over 65 have depression
between 4-23% of older adults seen by medical staff have an alcohol problem.

In addition to those older people who have an identifiable mental illness such as dementia, there are many who experience psychological or emotional distress associated with isolation, loneliness or loss. These problems are not recorded by the health or medical care system.

What problems affect people in later life?

Dementia

Dementia is a decline in mental ability which affects memory, thinking, problem solving, concentration, perception and behaviour. Some forms of dementia, such as Alzheimer’s disease, are degenerative. That is, they get worse over time. Other forms of dementia, such as vascular dementia, may be non-degenerative. That is, they may not get worse over time.

People with dementia can become confused. Some people also become restless or display repetitive behaviour. They may also seem irritable, tearful or agitated. This can be very distressing for both the person with dementia and their family and friends. Some people with dementia also develop other problems such as depression, disturbed sleep, aggression, inappropriate sexual behaviour and incontinence, although the latter issues tend to be associated with more advanced dementia.

About one in 20 people over the age of 65 are affected by dementia and this figure rises to one in four people over the age of 85 (Audit Commission, 2000). People under the age of 65 can develop dementia but this is rare and is known as early onset or pre-senile dementia.

What causes dementia?

Dementia occurs as a result of the death of brain cells or damage in parts of the brain that deal with our thought processes and functioning. The most common form of dementia is Alzheimer’s disease. We do not know what causes Alzheimer’s disease but we do know that ageing is the biggest risk factor. The second most common type of dementia is vascular or multi-infarct dementia. This occurs as a result of a series of mini-strokes which constrict blood flow and oxygen to the brain.

Can dementia be prevented and is there a cure?

Most types of dementia cannot be cured but a number of psychological treatments and anti-dementia drugs can be very effective for those in the early stages of dementia. It is therefore very important to get a proper assessment of cognitive function from a medical practitioner as early as possible.

There are no guaranteed ways of preventing dementia, but you may find it helpful to follow a sensible diet and pursue a healthy lifestyle. Regular physical exercise and supplements like Gingko Biloba can help to ensure that there is always a good supply of blood to the brain. Please consult your GP before taking such medication. You can also help yourself by keeping your mind active, for example by doing crosswords or puzzles.

Depression

Depression describes a range of moods, from feeling a bit low to a severe problem, which interferes with everyday life and normal functioning. People with severe depression may experience a range of symptoms including low mood, loss of interest and pleasure as well as feelings of worthlessness or guilt.

Depression can affect anyone, of any culture, age or background but it affects proportionally more older people than any other age group. It is estimated that around 10-15% of elderly people in the community exhibit depressive symptoms, with this proportion rising to about 40% of care home residents. That said, you will not necessarily become depressed just because you are getting older.

What causes depression?

There are a number of risk factors that play a role in increasing older people’s vulnerability to depression including:

being widowed, divorced or retired
neurobiological changes associated with ageing
use of medication for other conditions
greater physical impairment and disease
loneliness and isolation
genetic susceptibility, which increases with age.

Can depression be prevented and is there a cure?

Depression in later life is a widely under recognised and under treated medical condition. Up until recently many health professionals – including GP’s – failed to offer the treatments and supports available to other age groups. Most forms of depression can be treated, using medication, talking treatments or other strategies.

It is can be difficult to diagnose depression in older people because it often occurs alongside other mental and physical illnesses, such as dementia, stroke, diabetes and cancer. In addition many older people do not seek help from their GP until they have a number of symptoms. As with dementia, it is important to seek help as early as possible.

Self-help strategies that can help reduce the risk of depression include:

taking regular exercise
planning for critical transitions such as retirement
seeking support from family and friends following the loss of a long-term partner
ensuring that you pursue a range of interests in later life.

Dementia and depression

The relationship between dementia and depression is complex. The symptoms of dementia and depression – including withdrawal from social activities and general apathy – are very similar. An elderly person with severe depression may occasionally be misdiagnosed as having dementia. A person with dementia may also become depressed.

Alcohol abuse

It is estimated that between 4%-23% of older adults seen by medical staff experience problems with alcohol. Figures also show that older men are currently between two and six times more likely than older women to be at risk of abusing alcohol.

Although alcohol abuse is a problem for people of all ages, it is more likely to go unrecognised among older people. Many older people use alcohol to deal with loss or loneliness. Approximately 10-30% of older people who abuse alcohol become depressed. They are also at greater risk of suicide.

Medication

Prescribed medications can cause mental health difficulties among older people. A 2001 Department of Health survey found that 79% of older people take prescribed medicines. Many older people take four or more medications at the same time. There are risks associated with taking multiple medications, including confusion.

More detailed information about medication and mental health problems can be found at the following sites:

Other mental health problems

There are a number of rarer mental health problems that affect older people, including delirium, anxiety and late-onset schizophrenia. The prevalence, nature, and course of these disorders are different in older people, as are the treatments that may be offered.

Capacity and older people with mental illness

People with dementia or severe mental illness may have difficulty in making and communicating decisions. Very few people are unable to be involved in making choices at all but some may have partial or fluctuating mental capacity and may need help with communication. Different approaches are also required to engage a person with dementia. They often need longer to make decisions, may need an advocate to speak on their behalf and their mental functioning may also vary by day, and time of day. Family members or carers are often useful sources of information but it is important to take account of the views of the person with dementia alongside those of their carer.

Help for carers

Caring for an older person with mental health problems can be very stressful, time consuming and emotionally and physically challenging. Caring for an older person with dementia is associated with higher levels of stress, with a third of carers suffering from depression.

For free advice on depression or a free consultation visit http://www.clairehegarty.co.uk or ring 0151 678 3358 or 07714853524

Visit http://www.in2town.co.uk for all the latest health news and advice

We all know what it feels like: You have all those bills to pay this month, the kids have a mind of

their own, the school fees are killing you, you have overreacted to your spouse’s request for a break.

There are simply too many things to do and not enough hours in the day to do them. Wherever you turn:

Problems, problems, problems…

No matter what you do, as soon as one problem is solved another one appears from nowhere. You are forever catching up.

Can you relate to this?

I am pretty sure most of us can. We all experience problem overwhelm at some point or another in our lives. As stress levels reach new highs we seem unable to cope at a time when we most need to have our faculties together.

Life is about solving problems…

It is only natural that we dream of a life free from problems and obstacles, a life where everything runs like clockwork. Alas, nice as this fantasy is, reality tells a different tale. Problems are our daily bread and butter, whether you like it or not.

You may be unaware of it, but as much as 90% of your daily tasks consist of problem solving. Starting in the morning when you get up and have to organize the kids school run, be in the office for that meeting, organizing that dinner party at the weekend, or

packing the right things to take on holiday.

Admittedly, some problems are fun to have, in this case we call them things to do, These things to do are problems nonetheless.

It all depends on your point of view. Organizing a dinner party might be fun. However, when you have an extraordinarily busy week sorting that dinner party at the end of the day might turn from a fun thing into a major challenge.

The reason?

You have just entered a state of overwhelm. Once you enter this state your thinking switches from a “can do” attitude to one of “oh, not another thing to sort out, how am I ever going to cope with all the work?” way of thinking.

When you enter this stressful state your mind chatter switches into problem mode. Most of the time you don’t even notice that your are doing this.In other words, the difference between a problem and a mere job to do is the nature of your inner talk.

Re-defining the problem…

Some people seemingly sail through life, untroubled by the smaller and larger problems afflicting all of us at some point in time. Such people do not have fewer problems, nor do they have some magic advantage over the rest of us. These people do know how to control the state of their mind though. This allows them to see any situation with all its possibilities rather then being absorbed by negative and limiting self talk when the going gets tough.

The greatest inventors have known how to view any problem as just another challenge and enjoy that challenge.

Problem solving can be learned…

With a little practice anyone can learn to control the inner talk.The orthodox methods however, are cumbersome and results are slow. Not so with the new energy techniques which have been developed over the past decade.

One of the quickest and most effective energy techniques is EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique.

EFT is simple, powerful and effective. When using EFT you focus the mind on a specific problem, whilst at the same time tapping with your fingertips on a number of meridian points to stimulate the body’s energy system.

Mind focus together with the action of physical tapping is a very fast way to change your vibrational energy almost instantaneously.

As you feel your energy increasing you dissolve any resistance to changing your mind state.

You now move effortlessly into problem solving mode. You continue tapping and focusing on the issue you wish to resolve. By tuning into the vibrational frequency of your issue you effortlessly attract creative ideas and find solutions to your problem.

Learn more about Energy Techniques…

As energy techniques move to the forefront of the Personal Development field there are a number of different approaches which you can apply to improve your problems solving abilities.

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When a person is a little stressed, his body reacts and responds in situations instinctively and efficiently. But this can only be true to small dose of stress. When the dose arises, stress becomes unhealthy. It inhibits the person to perform well. With little stress, the body is pushed to work hard. This is in a positive way. While when the body is over stressed, the response is negative.

A person who is stressed out can’t perform normally. His body reacts differently in situations. Stress can even lead to body disorders and illnesses. Because the normal functioning of the body is affected, the person isn’t able to use his natural instincts when facing a situation. He becomes less creative and less efficient.

Battling Stress

Stress can make your life miserable so before it gets worse, you must battle it. The best way to combat stress is the use of stress management therapy. What is a Stress Management Therapy? This refers to the various strategies used by stress specialists and doctors to help people who are stressed out. The goal of stress management therapy is to help a person live life healthfully and stress free.

Why do you need to combat stress? Stress affects the whole personality of a person. It affects a person’s mental ability and sound judgement. It puts his social, emotional, spiritual and physical life in jeopardy. Worst, it can lead to serious health problems like phobias, heart problems and high blood pressure.

Stress management therapy makes sure that you don’t get these negative effects of stress. Generally, stress management therapy involves relaxation, counselling, exercises, yoga, meditation, and time management therapies. The key to combat stress is to manage it. If you can balance your needs and your abilities, there will be less room for stress.

Identification Of Stress

Before you can even start managing stress, you should first identify the factors that trigger stress. The stress management therapy will be based on your stress factor. The therapy will be designed according to your own needs.

Once the stress triggering factors are identified, measures will be taken to help the individual in facing the same circumstances. The stress management therapy may totally eliminate the factor that causes stress or if not, reduce it to a more tolerable level.

Stress management therapy is vital especially today where everywhere there seems to be a tough competition. This makes us want to get the best and thus, we become stressed. Through a stress management therapy, you will be able to enjoy life the stress free way!

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Did you know that one’s self-esteem can be improved by using hypnotherapy? As a matter of fact, issues about self-esteem are one of the main reasons why people consult a hypnotherapist.

Self-esteem is defined as the way you value yourself. If you love and accept your own self, then you have a healthy self-esteem. This means that you can mingle with other people easily, be responsible for your own life, take care of your body, not be discouraged by other people’s behavior and believe that you do not need to compete with other people to get what you want.

In general, people are born into the world with good self-esteem. You can observe that a baby conveys his true feelings without any hesitations, and as time goes by, this child will grow into an adult with healthy self-respect if he is given unconditional love and appropriate discipline.

On the other hand, a lot of people have been subject to criticism from their parents or even teachers. These people may have been called names and had labels attached to them that damaged their self-esteem slowly over time. They tend to believe the negative but untrue feedback from other people which results in a sub-standard life full of much worry and stress.

Through past life regression hypnotherapy, you can go back to the past and discover unresolved issues that have affected your current self-esteem. This process will also allow you to review the root of the problem so that you can let go of undesirable sentiments that reside in your body. It is almost like laying a ghost to rest that has been haunting you for years.

Hypnotherapists use different approaches to support you during your treatment. With the Inner Child Technique, you will have visualizations and meet the child inside of you and hear his fears and concerns as well as learn how to cater to his needs.

Hypnotherapy treatment will also produce post-hypnotic recommendations to eliminate the negative things that you have been practicing in your life. You may also need to learn self-hypnosis to maintain the positive thoughts that you need.

Your hypnotherapist will also come up with a plan that suits your needs and considers what you want. You should in time see a drastic positive change in your attitude towards yourself, and move on and live the rest of your life the way you should.

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With this inaugural blog I am mindful of running the risk of opening a cosmic can of spiritual worms. So, I will stubbornly stay above the fray and opt out on debating the righteousness of any one set of spiritual beliefs versus another. I write this article hopeful it may engage your curiosity about the essence of creativity and its relationship to the mystical realm no matter where you fall on the “faith continuum.” I have no doubt that my experiences inside of as well as outside of traditional and non traditional houses of worship have influenced my spiritual beliefs. Moreover, this blog in large measure represents the fruits of my evolving artistic sensibilities inside and outside the treatment room. It is an outgrowth of my own search for truths about human nature, the universe, and what it means to apply these truths in the service of living well.

My working hypothesis is that mystical transformational processes are at the heart of the value of “being” and indispensable to the regulation of self esteem in a world rife with injustice and loss. Furthermore, it’s my contention that our purpose for “being” in the present, which I will term the only possible moment of creative possibilities, is to become enlightened as to our reasons “for being” or to say it a different way, our purpose for living. Finally, I contend that this process of self discovery or self creation requires trust in one’s self to process wisdom the universe gifts us, and faith in forces that operate inside and outside of us to render the unintelligible, intelligible.

It is as obvious as the noses on our own faces absent some sort of reflecting pools that we need selves to have self esteem. In truth many of us may have never even considered that we exhibit many different self states on any given day. Furthermore, many of these self expressions were conditioned earlier in life and unaltered by time and circumstances. This is due to real and/or imagined recollections of the threats to our physical safety and emotional security posed by questioning the validity and reliability of how our caregivers saw us and wished us to seem them. So when I use the concept of self I am thinking about nurtured autonomous capacities of self observation and self reflection in the service of processing, integrating and using in a coordinated fashion, what our senses receive. Without space these developmental milestones will not take place.

Like a good wide receiver in football who must create space and separate himself from the defensive player covering him so he can catch a pass, we must develop separation and space from how our caregivers wished for us to experience them and how they wished for us to experience ourselves and the world in order to create new and more flexible mindsets. It is imperative that we do so because otherwise, we will suffer painful consequences by not respectfully and considerately relating and responding to those in our immediate presence by virtue of being wedded to expectations shaped by a world of blacks and whites with very few shades of gray. Such idealized and simplistic notions degrade our capacities to enrich each other’s lives as if our individual limitations and flaws were antithetical to the concept of having and regulating self esteem. Furthermore, if we have learned that the creation of and use of space to sense and evaluate the world beyond the limits of the wisdom imparted to us by our role models could result in a loss of their love, hurtful judgments, or physical and/or emotional abandonment, then this process of self creation may to varying degrees be stunted. This is not a knock on anyone’s parents. It’s the respectful acknowledgement that we are all human, imperfect, limited and flawed. Thus, no one should be revered in such a manner.

The bottom line is that we need the freedom and operating space

to practice being, trusting and valuing our selves. To use an analogy this might be equivalent to trying to make sense of the world with our eyes if our faces are pushed up to a pane of glass. This is a gross form of blindness or loss of perspective. Or imagine being packed into a subway car like sardines during rush hour. You would lack the operating space to protect and promote your self interest should there be a sudden jolt or a boundary violation of some kind.

For example, I imagine that very few of us who do not possess the mentalities of a stunt man or woman would attempt to learn to fly an airplane as an unseasoned student if we feared that such mistake-laden learning the ropes might result in our instructors getting angry, disgusted and perhaps, parachuting out of the plane leaving us all alone and terrified with the overwhelming responsibility to fly and land the aircraft. These analogies are meant to drive home the point that the development of selves and self esteem does not happen in a vacuum and must take place within the context of supportive and trusted relationships.

I often liken psychotherapy to be a holding environment or to use a construction metaphor; the scaffolding while the patient’s personality is renovated. No matter how painful, self defeating and even self destructive can be the ways we live our lives they are the weight supporting beams or infrastructures for our personalities. We will not risk deconstructing our ways of being so that we can reconstruct how we experience and use these experiences to guide our actions without the security of knowing that these structures will not collapse. The trusted and valued psychotherapist is that scaffolding or weight bearing beams while we renovate the way history has shaped the unfolding of our stories. If there is one truth I hold very dear to my heart as a result of working in the field of helping others develop selves is that anxieties over non existence or the collapse of ones’ personality will most often supersede fears of death due to illness, injury or other accident of fate.

As much as the development of trust in our selves is critical to the growth of self esteem, since how this comes about remains much a mystery, we are forced to venture into unchartered waters on faith. I think about the mystical forces of creation as functioning like coalescing glue. Imagine for a moment wind borne asymmetrical scraps of paper lifted out of unrelated containers of some distance from each other somehow coming together to form coherent and cohesive documents of exact rectangular dimensions. This metaphor captures my utter amazement at the incomprehensible intelligence of the universe as it works through normal folks like you and me.

I still scratch my head at a loss to explain the mechanisms by which I intuit ideas that seemingly rise to the level of thought out of thin air. I am a very, small fish in a very big pond of artists of one sort or another who have described the creative process as “taking on a life of its own.” As a sports fan I often hear world class athletes speak about “being in the zone.” They often describe having a sixth sense of the events to unfold as if some inexplicable force outside themselves guide the outcome of events. It is not an original idea by no means that imagination is the soil within which new realities germinate. When I begin to reflect on these mysteries I recognize how dynamic are the boundaries between my self and others, the past and the present and even between parts of my self. These boundaries can be fluid and permeable and so fuzzy at times so as to temporarily disappear.

My perspective is that one degree of separation between our observing and experiencing selves, and between our selves and others makes a world of difference. It’s the difference between overcoming our inner resistances to adapting constructively to an ever changing universe and unhealthily tying up our creative energies in the service of resistance to living life on life’s terms. As you will readily see as I develop my thesis, suffering and loss are constant and often unpredictable companions no matter how well you learn to play this game of life by its natural laws. Still, those of us who grow in self esteem over the course of our lives do not forsake rich and meaningful attachments out of fear and anxiety even though our losses are inevitable, often irreparable, and unavoidable signposts that no matter what roads we travel will lead us to the end of our lives as we know it.

The good news is that what doesn’t kill us literally or figuratively makes us stronger. We become more resilient in our transcendent natures or to be put another way our abilities to experience ourselves as much more than any ephemeral attachment no matter how much we cherish our attachments. Thus we can grow to fear less, potential threats to our identities and are better able to fully engage our loved ones, vocations and hobbies. This is because “I” increasingly becomes one with the light of re inventive consciousness and it is this light that unmasks our illusions that our weaknesses, vulnerabilities and flaws are anything more than artificial and transient constructs parading in and out of our fields of vision. They are only as powerful as our investments in them as obstructions to our paths toward enlightenment. No matter how senseless, cruel, inexplicable, unjust, unpredictable and earth shaking are our personal tragedies necessity being the mother of invention, we can find in trust and faith in our selves movement towards an expansive sense of ourselves; a oneness with the infinitely creative, uncontrollable, uncontainable, ineffable and indescribable universe. This process improves our abilities to take what feels like a fatal shot to the heart and live to see and enjoy another sunrise.

For example, between one and two years ago I ended a relationship with a woman I had been dating for 3 ½ years whom I planned to marry. For 4-5 straight weeks I channeled my anger into fully engaging my grief. I was immersed in an ocean of tears. The water conditions ranged from choppy to hurricane-like. Sometimes I was able to keep my head above water and observe that despite my pain, anger, rage sadness, etc., I was fine. The world had not split off its axis and the warmth of romantic love would in all likelihood grace my life again. There were other moments I seemed to be drowning in the collective tears of so incompletely mourned losses. It seemed for the first time in my life I could comfort myself and crying lost its lost its lethal symbolic meaning that I had lost something so priceless as to not be able to recover and move on.

I cried before I saw patients at the start of the day, between patients and after my sessions ended. The energies liberated from the breaking of this attachment were awesomely powerful, primitively terrifying, and hard to contain, observe and make sense of. With great trepidation and fear of drowning I dipped my cup in this ocean of cryptic wavelengths on faith that something much greater than my self would put me back together and leave me more resilient, flexible, more tolerant of distressing experiences, less identified with what is ephemeral and more identified with what is infinite. Such was the case. After 5 weeks the storms subsided and I was free to pursue love more courageously than ever. At the writing of this blog about 15 months later I am soon to be married.

Now, I would have survived this experience one way or another Still, to give credit where credit is due I would not have survived as a wiser, more resilient, more grateful and more loving person if it had not been for the “otherness” of my analyst one degree removed from my self and one degree removed from what our resonating beings stirred up inside of her. Dr. L. offered me a container to help hold and process that which at times was too chaotic, confusing, distressing and crazy making to tolerate. Yes, I did say crazy making. This grieving experience riddled me with self doubts as I struggled at times to observe my self and process and reconcile feelings of helplessness, uselessness and worthlessness with my identity as a psychotherapist. My self doubts became occasions to anxiously regress back in time to derive a false sense of safety and security in identification with how my idealized parents of childhood viewed and treated me. To experience my self as weak, vulnerable and dependent rendered me temporarily incapable to trust, value and mobilize my self in the service of comforting my self and keeping perspective on my loss. In truth I was functioning rather well despite my emotional crisis; tears or no tears.

Dr. L. was my unsinkable buoy, my life jacket that anchored me in the present and reminded me that the hurricane-like state in side of me was not reflective of a life having been reduced to rubble by primitive and malevolent forces. Dr. L. was able to identify with my experiences without being drowned by them. She maintained the degrees of separation necessary to be able to contain, help me process that which was too distressing for me to contain, make sense of and deliver back to me in a more logical and manageable form that which helped me to reconstruct a wiser, better integrated, more grounded and secure sense of self. With Dr. L as my extended container, I took sensory snapshots of my experiences, observed them when possible, tolerated the frustration of not knowing, and patiently on faith let these snapshots develop in the dark room of “nothingness” until these energies coalesced into something and rose to the level of thought. Dr. L. nurtured me to grow and in opening her self up to what was revealed and was likewise, changed by the experience. My point here is that personal growth and change is a collaborative and inter subjective experience.

There is great wisdom in the old adage that people either move forward and expand their subjectivities or their relationship to space contracts and they move backwards. For those of us in varying states of contraction or to say it differently habitually engaged in learned acts that are self defeating and self destructive we may find life to be largely traumatizing, trust eroding and faith destroying. We may find ourselves becoming progressively amnesic about our connection to the mystical until we reach a point of no return. It has been my experience that when we forget our connections to the mystical we grow weary and restless over being trapped in our artificially claustrophobic containers. Suicide of many varieties are not conscious and deliberate or completed in a flash and yet, full proof in their lethality over time.

No matter how much we evolve in our wisdom about our selves and the workings of the universe it is my educated guess that the leading edge of uncertainties and unknowns will always outstrip our evolving efforts to make logical sense of these matters. So as much as the final frontier beckons us with promises of knowledge to help us master our fears and anxieties this may be the ultimate cosmic tease. What I am putting forth here is that somewhere over the rainbow of the most cataclysmic and sublime events are answers that explain how we fit into a logical and symmetrical universal order. An order that perfectly marries form with function.

I am thinking specifically about the spiritual conversions of quantum physicists who having chronicled their observations of the properties of subatomic particles. Many speak reverently of a natural order previously relegated to the realm of the supernatural. When bonds are broken and energies are released what is observed may be a function of one’s limited understanding of the dimensions of time and space as they relate to identifying the container or crucible of creation and what is or not is contained and transformed. Given that there are no clearly defined limits on our potential to grow in our trust and faith in our selves as architects and instruments of creation then our existential angst is a direct outgrowth of what will and will not unfold in the dark emptiness. This suffering can be attenuated but can never be eradicated. So, our existential angst of not knowing what will become of us during our lives and after we cease to exist in our skins is the suffering that both propels us forward towards a relationship with the mystical and pulls us backward in futile, self defeating and sometimes self destructive efforts to re-live the illusory safety and security of childhood. The times of our lives when we were deluded with notions of divine grandeur are not so easily relinquished.

Best case, acts of creation have never to my mind been better described than it was by one of the most widely acclaimed writers of the 20th century, Franz Kafka: “It is not necessary that you leave the house. Remain at your table and listen. Do not even listen, only wait. Do not even wait, be wholly still and alone. The world will present itself to you for its unmasking, it can do no other, in ecstasy it will writhe at your feet.” Worst case when dealing with the energies of traumatic recollections these same energies can feel like being enveloped by a Tsunami while not being the merciful recipient of a swift loss of consciousness. Having processed my experiences as a writer, psychotherapist and former athlete I have reached the conclusion that these processes are fraught with blood, sweat and tears. They can take us in equal measure to ephemeral breathtaking heights of exhilaration and ephemeral depths of despair. What strikes me as irrefutable that with each successive generation there are individuals and groups that make quantum leaps in our understanding of our complex relationships to each other on ever level of organization. It’s a way of saying how Leonardo Da Vinci, Sigmund Freud or even Bill Gates were way ahead of their times.

Before I end this article I’d like to thank the like minded folks who have been my guides on this spiritual journey. I have embraced the teachings of several Relational psychoanalysts who have integrated Buddhist principles in developing their theoretical orientation and practice techniques. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank them by name because without them this blog might not have been written. The first is Wilfrid Bion whom I consider to be “The father of spiritually based psychoanalytic practice. Bion has written that being with the creative process is the “closest we will ever get to God.” The second is Dr. Mark Epstein, whose writings ushered into the mainstream of psychoanalytic thought Buddhist psychological traditions, and the third is Seth Warren Ph.D, a colleague and former instructor who introduced me to Wifrid Bion’s writings. The thread that binds these three men together is the notion that trust in one’s self and faith in forces at work inside and outside of us are not mutually exclusive and indispensable to acquiring wisdom abut each other and the universe. This “giving birth” of new ideas cannot take place without the interdependence of two individuals mutually influenced by their unique perspectives or to use the analytic term, “inter subjectivities.

I invite my readers to enter into a dialogue with myself that will hopefully extend the limits of our understanding of and nurture the growth of our collective self esteem within the context of learning about our selves, each other and the universe at large. Where do you see yourselves fitting into this celestial tapestry? What are your ideas on self esteem and how they are or not influenced by spiritual ideas?

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“Anxiety” can be expressed naturally by aggressive emotion which can has side effects to the lover’s relationship. Generally, when people are in the anxiety stage, they can lose control of themselves under the extremely emotional degree. As a result, the reaction from that certain stage of emotion can perform a perfect killer to harm your long love relationship.

In recent world that everybody has to be busy and stress with their feelings about the children, work, and money, most people tend to avoid themselves of no conversation about pregnancy, marriage and desire sex with their partners. However, physiologists found that couples can reduce their stress by sharing or talking each other about their tension feelings regarding their work, economic status, political issue and so on.

How anxiety destroys long love relationship?

Not all anxiety between lovers is instantly noticeable, even though it can still be destructive in the long term relationship. Passive aggression can become routine particularly when someone is always occupied with the no other way out feeling to let go of it.

No matter how hard you tried to nurture them or hide them under your burred loving life, the anxiety will never leave you until you can let it go positively and correctly. If you are in a relationship with someone who has a lot of anxiety, then you are driving yourself in a rocky road. It can quickly devastate the entire thing you beautifully build up together.

How to deal with it?

When you consider yourself is becoming angry, try this following tips:

Tip 1 :

Perform a master of your thoughts and disable it to control what you are obsessed with. Keep beating your thought and controlling that anxiety. Remember anxiety gains momentum when you are holding more and more negative attentions.

Tip 2 :

Practice self-control and manage over your feelings. Anxiety is like taking a ride on a rollercoaster. Once you start obsessing with negative thoughts and fears, they will generate themselves emotional tension and reaction.

Try distracting and diverting your thoughts by going out and talk to someone you trust and feel freely with at that moment. It is good for you to have someone to share your aggressive facts and problem.

Tip 3 :

Keep yourself and don’t allow yourself to have idle moments. Volunteer to clean up a whole house for a whole day. Probably, choose one of your favorite hobbies such as reading magazines, doing exercise, or meditation to shut down yourself from anxiety.

Tip 4 :

Take a look at a dog when it’s resting. Consider its body that is free of tension and switch off your brain by lying down and flying into the peaceful mode. Turn on some relaxation music to calm your anxiety. This perfectly helps to manage your body and mind recovered from everyday Stress and Anger.

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GAIN CONTROL OF YOUR ANGER NOW WITH THESE STEPS:

1. Breathe deep and long breaths. Be sure to open your belly and breathe deep into your abdomen. You may not know it, but when you’re angry you’re panicking. This will help you to calm down.

2. Walk outside and look at the sky while you’re doing your deep breathing. This will help you to put things in perspective, and it can have a soothing effect.

3. Do some stretches. When you’re angry your body gets tense and rigid. The stretching will open up some of the tight areas of your body and get more oxygen flowing to your brain and help you clear your thoughts.

4. Get some paper and start writing. Write about how mad you are and why. Don’t be nice, reasonable or rational. The point is to get your anger out on the paper, to purge it from your mind. Keep writing until you feel some relief or release, and don’t stop until you do. For more help with this type of exercise, check out this book.

5. Write about what you have to be grateful for, what you appreciate about your life, your self and (if you can) the person you are mad at. For help with this, check out Dr. DeFoore’s newsletter GOODFINDING, or his GOODFINDING CD.

6. Imagine that you are at the funeral of the person you are mad at. What would you say. What would you miss about that person if they were gone?

7. If you know how, pray. Pray for God to guide you through this dark time. Pray for the grace to see the beauty and vulnerability in the person you are mad at. Pray for the wisdom to see beyond the view of the person or situation that makes you so angry.

8. Imagine that you are the person you are mad at. Put yourself in their shoes. Look at the situation from their viewpoint. How do you look to them? Is that how you want to look? Decide who and how you want to be and act as if you were that already.

9. Remember a time in your childhood when you were afraid, hurt or angry. In your imagination, embrace that child, saying “It’s okay. I’m here. You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re a good kid. I love you just like you are. I’m not going to leave you.” Then take the child (your child self) out of the situation to a safe place where s/he can relax, heal or even play. Learn about the Nurturing Your Inner Child CD or download.

10. Think about your values. What is the most important thing in the world to you. Who are the most important people in the world to you? What kind of person do you want to be? How do you want to be remembered? Decide that you are that person and you are living by your values, and act as if it were so. This is the fastest way to change your emotions, and it puts you in touch with your true nature, the way you were designed to be.

REMEMBER… INSIDE, YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON WHO WANTS TO HELP. THINK, ACT AND MAKE DECISIONS FROM THAT GOOD PERSON AND YOU CAN’T GO WRONG!

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When one misses self-esteem their life does not ‘work’ and you look like you are in a rut. Self-esteem is a precursor to a joyful and successful life. Life is a building block and self-esteem is the base. Self esteem is the key to building what we call “miracles” that come true, it makes us courageous to grab opportunities closer to our dreams.

Without a firm base, life’s designs and destinations (even when reached) oftentimes break down or are not satisfying. I work with my clients to construct that rock-solid strong base of self-esteem. The answers are often Life Changing!

“Where do I get help with building my self esteem?”

That is the basic question I am asked. Quite honestly, almost any person educated as a Life Coach possesses the skills to help you. But, in today’s world there are myriad life coach specialists each having specific skills.

The 1st step is to recognize what you would like to ‘change’. Building self esteem starts in that specific area you want to start on. Where you want to start on can help you stick to it, and eventually touch other areas of your life. If you desire a career change take a Career Coach. If you wish better relationships hire a Relationship Coach.

If you would like to improve your self-esteem hire a Self-Esteem Coach. Ask yourself what you require and what is not working on in your life.

Sometimes a client does not know or their life gets on a downhill decline… And so my suggestion is to reach out to a common Life Coach or a Self-Esteem Life Coach. We all have self-esteem issues. However they hinder or hold us back varies.

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We all have stress, but how we handle that stress can greatly affect our physical and mental health.  In fact, a few simple changes can mean the difference between a long, happy life and a short, miserable one.

To this end, here are a few tried and true stress management strategies to help you stress less starting today.

Avoid people who stress you out.

I am convinced there are people in this world whose sole purpose in life is to cause me stress.  I bet I’m not the only one who thinks this, either!

The point is, there are certain types of people who seem to wreak havoc wherever they go.  Other people may have personality types that simply don’t mesh with yours.  If you can’t learn to relate to these people, limit the amount of time you spend with them, o avoid them altogether.  

Control your environment.

At the height of the recent stock market crash, I found myself checking the stock market index at least 10 – 15 times a day.  This caused so much anxiety that I finally had to quit cold turkey.

Environmental stress is fairly easy to control.  If the news stresses you out, turn off the television.  If traffic tenses you up, consider going a different route, or taking the bus or train.  If you hate shopping, shop online, or make sure you go when you know there won’t be any crowds.

To get started, identify three things in your environment that stress you out and change them.   This will not only decrease your stress, but give you a sense of empowerment to change other things.

Just say no.

Did you know that you don’t have to do everything you’re asked to do?  I’m ashamed to admit that it took me a long time to figure that one out.

If you are someone who can “get things done,” there will always be someone with a worthy cause who needs your skills.  Often we feel flattered and agree before we really give the request due consideration.  Then, once we get into it, we feel overwhelmed and put-upon.  Does any of this sound familiar?

So, before you say yes, give it thoughtful and honest consideration.  If your plate is full, or if you just don’t want to do something someone asks of you, politely refuse.

Fix yourself a nice cup of herbal tea.

Don’t get me wrong – I still drink a lot of coffee every day, but this time it’s because I enjoy the taste.  But when I feel stressed, I fix myself a nice, hot, soothing mug of herbal tea, decaffeinated.  I find the whole process of heating the kettle, steeping the tea, and then inhaling the aroma to be extremely calming.   Fixing yourself a cup of tea is reaffirming and soothing.  It’s a small act that can give you a big psychological boost.

Shorten your “to-do” list.

Do you really have to go to all those meetings on your schedule, or can you delegate?  Do you really need to clean your house from top to bottom every week, or would once a month work better?  (Better yet, can you afford to hire someone to do it?!)  If you’ve got too much on your plate, then it’s time to decide between the things that you “should do” and those you “must do.”  Delegate or eliminate the “should dos,” and prioritize the “must dos.”

Change your attitude to gratitude.

Every morning during my quiet time, I ponder all the things I am grateful for that day.  My wonderful family.  A beautiful sunrise.  The squirrels chasing each other in the backyard.  A new client.  Being able to work from home.  Big things and small things all get due consideration.  Some things are permanent on the list (like the family!), but others come and go, depending on the day and my mood.

Learning to be thankful for what I have instead of constantly trying to figure out a way to get more has gone a long way toward easing the stress in my life, I can tell you!  I’m not saying you can’t strive for bigger and better, I’m just saying that along the journey, we need to appreciate that which we have.

What are you grateful for?  Try taking a few moments each day to really feel thankful for the abundance in which you live.  You’ll be amazed at what a little gratitude can do for your stress level.

Start a yoga practice.

One of the things I am most grateful for is discovering yoga.  A regular practice of yoga not only keeps your body flexible and your bones strong, but it is one of the best stress management strategies I know.  Yoga improves your overall sense of well-being and improves your sense of balance.   I’ve been practicing about four and a half years now.  I used to take classes twice a week, but now I rotate between several different yoga DVDs.

Yoga doesn’t have to be mystical or spiritual, although that can certainly be part of it if you so choose.  I choose to focus on the many health benefits of yoga instead.  I strongly encourage you to give it a try.  Start with a beginner class or a beginner DVD.

Laugh your head off!

The health benefits of laughter are well-documented.  There are numerous studies that show people who laugh a lot are less stressed and enjoy a longer, healthier life.  Some doctors even say you should have at least10 deep belly laughs each day for optimum results.  Guess that’s as good as any to start developing your funny bone!

Stress less. Enjoy life more.

Whether you know it or not, if you’re living a stressed life, you aren’t enjoying life to its fullest.  Resolve today to take control of your life and your stress level!

Copyright 2009, BusinessBurrito.com.  All rights reserved.

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