You Can be Great If You Really Want To

When asked to write down their goals in life, many people hesitate because they think their goals are trivial compared to the Bill Gates and Anthony Robbins of this world.  Nothing could be further from the truth if their goals are based on one thing.
And what is that?  Well, simply put, every successful person begins with the “End in Mind” no matter what that end might be.  And the part that makes it worthy is it is THEIR end!  This makes it their personal mission and truly worthy no matter how
trivial it may sound.  This is why they call it PERSONAL goal setting.

Let me further explain for those that are not quite clear when I say the “end.”  In his book “The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People,” Stephen R. Covey explains this “end in mind” concept by having you picture yourself at your own funeral.  

If fact, why don’t you do this quick but powerful exercise now.  Visualize yourself laying in a casket with friends and family gathered to say their last goodbyes.  Everyone is dressed in dark colored clothing, mourning your death, as they
stroll past your casket viewing your body for the last time.  Now, everyone takes their seats and here comes the eulogy.

Listen to what the speaker is saying about the type of person you were, all the contributions you made, the impact you left on people’s lives, etc.  Did he/she not mention something you wish to be mentioned?  What was that specific thing or things?  

Well, luckily with the power of imagination, you can “come back to life” and are given a second chance to make all those things a reality.  This is the best explanation of beginning with the “end in mind” that I have seen and I hope it clarifies this powerful concept.   

This concept is very effective because it gives us a powerful purpose for doing things and it allows us to work backwards and figure out what we need to do to get “there.”  Now, as I implied earlier, it does not matter if your goal is to revolutionize the way we do business or if it is to be the best parent to your kid(s).  As long as you know what YOUR optimal life looks like, you will have no problems coming up with worthy goals.

If you have no idea how to get “there,” unless your optimal life is truly unique, there are lots of resources that will show you how to get to where you want to go.  So your first goal could be to go to Amazon.com and find the top selling book in your area of interest.  Then go to your local library and borrow it (or pick up a copy for yourself if you like to mark notes in your books).

You will find things that the author did that helped him/her realize what you are after.  With that information at your fingertips, you can create many worthy goals, all moving you in the direction you want to go.  You do not (and in many cases should not) have to reinvent the wheel.  Copying will get you there faster.  So in this case, copying is the smartest thing you can do.

This is a simple but powerful concept for brewing up meaningful and personal goals.  These goals express what matters most to YOU and are, therefore, just as worthy as a world changing goal!

Use your powerful gift of imagination and begin with the “end in mind.”  You will stir up some powerful emotions if done with focus and your true mission in life will be revealed.  With this personal mission, you will have no problems coming up with meaningful goals.

If you are feeling stressed out or exhibiting the symptoms of stress in your daily life, it is important to take action. In small or occasional doses, stress is actually a beneficial reaction that helps us boost our alertness and focus when we need it most. The adrenaline boost that you get when you are frightened, for example, is a natural stress mechanism that allows you to react faster to potential danger. But when our bodies are constantly in this state of heightened stress response, it takes a serious toll on our bodies and minds.

If you are experiencing too much stress in your life, one of the first things that you should work on is decreasing your exposure to stressful situations. It is not always possible to escape the things that cause us unhealthy stress; however you can sometimes work to minimize your exposure. For example, if work is stressing you out too much, stop bringing work home with you, and set a “blackout” rule for your household. Turn off all cell phones and PDAs after a certain time. If your stress comes from money, see if your partner would be willing to take on the budget, or talk to a financial counselor. It may also be helpful to change your perspective. Will your current stressors be an issue five years from now?

Sometimes high stress levels are not caused by any one large thing, but rather by small stressors that accumulate until we have trouble coping with them. This could indicate a very good time to take a “time out,” either in the form of a short meditation period, or even as a time to go on a vacation and let the toxic stress accumulation dissipate.

Managing Stress with Relaxation Techniques

When something about your situation becomes very stressful try to remove yourself from the situation, even if only for a few minutes. This can be as simple as walking out of the room for a moment to catch your breath, or even closing your eyes and blocking out the situation if that works for you. The traditional advice to count to ten is long lived for a reason, and can give you the time you need to allow your heart rate and blood pressure to drop back to normal.

For persistently stressful feelings, schedule some time that is all your own, and do things that you love to do. Enjoy a glass of wine and a novel, take a steaming hot bath with music and candles, play a round of golf, or simply be silly and roll around on the floor with the kids. Whatever makes you feel happy and calm is an ideal tool for bringing down your stress levels. Schedule an hour or two for yourself once a week, and write it in your planner as an appointment that you cannot miss. It is an urgent matter of health, in fact.

Exercise Routines for Stress Management

One wonderful way to take care of your body and reduce your stress levels at the same time is to start a regular exercise routine. This gives you the physical benefits of being more in shape and feeling better, but also releases feel-good chemicals like serotonin and endorphins to really help you relax and just be happy.

Exercise also gives your heart a good workout, helps to release the tension that you hold in your muscles when you are stressed out, and burns off that “nervous” energy. You will probably also find that your quality of sleep improves when you work out regularly. Yoga in particular is an excellent workout, and is famous for the sense of peace that regular practice brings.

While it is best to talk to a doctor before beginning any new exercise or other physical regimen, you might also consider spending a little time meditating in a sauna or steam room after your workout sessions. It is said that saunas and steam rooms can help to leech toxins from the body, which could include stress hormones like cortisol. Leave if you start to feel dizzy or unwell, and be sure to drink water before and after to keep yourself hydrated.

Stress Management with Medication

Ideally, medication should be a short term fix and a last resort for stress sufferers. Stress is a natural response to the environment, but medication will do nothing to change that hostile environment. Instead, medication for stress will shut down that vital warning system that we are taking on too much, and suppress the symptoms of our stress instead of addressing the cause.

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Stress Management – Technique1:    Think positively – Having a positive attitude is key to stress management as well as to happiness in life.  To learn to be more positive and optimistic:
Try to minimize criticism and complaints; instead seek opportunities to praise others.
? Be as non-judgemental as possible and avoid drama by refusing to jump to conclusions or “read-in” to what other people are thinking.
? Avoid the need to constantly defend your position which disrupts inner harmony.  Instead, seek to surround yourself with positive, supportive people.
? Notice the way each statement makes you FEEL as you say it and use the ones that elicit the most positive emotional response frequently.
Stress Management Technique 2:     Be Mindful – Mindfulness is a key component in stress management.  Being mindful means living fully in the present moment without focusing on regrets from the past or worries about the future.  To help you be more mindful:
• Try changing your focus to relaxing and “being” sometimes vs. constant action or “doing”.
• Seek times of solitude which will promote inner peace and relaxation as well as creativity.
• Try a walking meditation.  Get out in nature and as you walk really notice all of the sights, sounds and scents around you which will help keep your thoughts in the present moment.  In addition, noticing nature’s beauty and abundance can help to minimize any problems you may be encountering and make them seem smaller and more manageable.
Stress Management Technique 3:     Self-Nurture – Self-Nurturing is learning to love and take better care of yourself.  Continually putting yourself at the bottom of your list of priorities will result in stress, burnout, exhaustion and resentment.  We are unable to be at our best for others, unless we take time for ourselves to rest, relax and renew.  Self-nurturing is not selfish, it is sensible.  To incorporate more self-nurturing into your life try the following:
? Pamper yourself with small indulgences that you enjoy personally (simple pleasures) throughout the day.
? Follow your bliss by learning to use your natural talents and gifts, by choosing hobbies you enjoy and following your dreams.
? Learn to pace yourself, listen to your body and realize that saying no at times is essential.

Stress Management Technique 4: Declutter – Having excess clutter in your home, office and/or vehicle can significantly add to your stress level.  Clutter can rob you of time looking for items that could be used for more pleasant activities.  
Stress Management Technique 5: Practice Relaxation Techniques – In addition to helping you feel more calm and relaxed, learning relaxation techniques also has many health benefits including lowering blood pressure, regulating digestion, helping you to get a better night’s sleep and boosting the immune system.  These techniques are fun and easy to learn and regular practice will teach your body to relax faster and easier.
• Deep Breathing – When stressed we tend to breathe with shallow, rapid breaths which trigger the body’s stress response.  Taking just a few full, deep breaths can activate the body’s relaxation response.  Be sure as you practice deep breathing to breathe slowly and deeply expanding your belly first and then your chest.
• Meditation – Learning meditation is intimidating to many people because they think it is difficult and time-consuming.  This does not have to be the case.  Doing a basic meditation for 10-15 minutes each day is highly beneficial (before getting out of bed in the morning is best).  Simply sit or lie down and get very comfortable, begin to focus on your breathing and clear your mind.  When thoughts come into your mind, briefly acknowledge the thought and then let it go.  It’s that simple!  If you’d like to add a mantra (word or statement) to your meditation to help you stay focused, try “I am” as you breathe in and “calm” or “relaxed” as you exhale.
• Visualization – Visualization and Guided Imagery are simple, gentle, yet powerful techniques in which you focus and direct your imagination for a desired result.  Guided Imagery is actually much more than visualization alone because it seeks to engage all of your senses and evoke feelings.  Different types of imagery can be used for relaxation or as a complementary therapy for healing from injury or illness.  Many studies have shown the effectiveness of Guided Imagery and it is now being used in many hospitals throughout the United States.
Learning how to relax is essential to living a happier, healthier life and should be an integral part of your wellness program.  There are many other relaxing therapies available to choose from including such things as massage therapy, aromatherapy, music therapy and journaling to name a few.  Both stress and relaxation are very personal to the individual.  What one person finds stressful isn’t necessarily stressful to another and in the same way what one person finds relaxing isn’t necessarily relaxing to another.  Therefore, it is best to sample the different therapies, techniques and treatments available to find the balance that works best for you.  For more information on any of the topics discussed in this article visit www.tranquilitybaywellness.com.

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