Building high self esteem is one of the key jobs of positive psychology practitioners. In my line of work, I often come across stressed students, erratic employees and burnt out business people. One of the common themes I see in such people is that they are too critical of themselves and frequently judge themselves harshly in comparison to others. I know that building high self esteem in such people will require me to become aware of a range of low self esteem signs such as beliefs of inadequacy and teach them how to overcome fear of failure.

Do you know a person who often feels inadequate in comparison to other people because those other people never have to try as hard as them, and yet they always seem to do better than them? Now let me assume that that person at times is you. Part of these inadequate feelings may be due to your negative perception of yourself and they don’t actually always do better than you. But let’s say for arguments sake that they do. You are completely accurate about this scenario. What is likely to happen? You beat yourself down. You say things like ‘I’m not smart enough’, if I was smarter than I should be able to learn it quicker and produce better results. Some will even go so far as to say I am a failure. Because I didn’t produce a grade or result as high as this person, then I am a failure. And you know what, you’re right. You are a failure! A failure in regards to how you are looking at the situation.

Let’s take a different perspective. You have worked twice as hard as this other person and your grade or result was a little bit less. Now, if you gave everything you got and produced a great result for you, and they didn’t try very hard at all and they obtained a reasonable result in comparison to what they could get, who should be more proud? Who do you respect more in this scenario? And if the person who has to work harder has the right attitude, they will actually enjoy the process more than the other person. While the other person is bored, as you reach your potential you are much more likely to move into states of flow which is where you become enjoyably engrossed in the activity.

Building high self esteem requires developing the correct perspective. I believe that the most important factor in building high self esteem is learning how to focus on your effort, not success. With continued effort, your own individual success will increase. If you are focused on success without a true understanding of effort, then you will fail.

Furthermore, this is only one side of the coin. This person has more ability than you in this particular area, but there are other areas where you will have more ability than them. During my studies, I was surrounded by brilliant people with much greater strengths in certain areas than I. Rather than feel inadequate; I would use the opportunity to learn. Rather than be disdainful of those kind of people, I would be respectful and create friendships so I could learn from them. (Though I do admit, that at times, those kind of people can be very, very annoying, especially if they boast about not needing to try). By learning from them, they would pull me up with them. My results would improve, I wouldn’t go as high as they would, but I would go higher than I could before. I would genuinely ask about their skills (their brilliance) and thank them for sharing some of their insights with me.

That being said, what about the ways I (or you) may have helped others. A lot of the contributions I made did not increase any of my marks. I was good at using metaphors, simplifying ideas and concepts, helping others feel more confident and less burnt out, joking and playing at times. Out of all these things, none of them were assessable or gradable in an objective sense. There was no test telling me how important any of these attributes were! However I know these factors are incredibly important and I know that you too have incredible talents that are not measurable or recognized, but are essential for building high self esteem.

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We all have stress, but how we handle that stress can greatly affect our physical and mental health.  In fact, a few simple changes can mean the difference between a long, happy life and a short, miserable one.

To this end, here are a few tried and true stress management strategies to help you stress less starting today.

Avoid people who stress you out.

I am convinced there are people in this world whose sole purpose in life is to cause me stress.  I bet I’m not the only one who thinks this, either!

The point is, there are certain types of people who seem to wreak havoc wherever they go.  Other people may have personality types that simply don’t mesh with yours.  If you can’t learn to relate to these people, limit the amount of time you spend with them, o avoid them altogether.  

Control your environment.

At the height of the recent stock market crash, I found myself checking the stock market index at least 10 – 15 times a day.  This caused so much anxiety that I finally had to quit cold turkey.

Environmental stress is fairly easy to control.  If the news stresses you out, turn off the television.  If traffic tenses you up, consider going a different route, or taking the bus or train.  If you hate shopping, shop online, or make sure you go when you know there won’t be any crowds.

To get started, identify three things in your environment that stress you out and change them.   This will not only decrease your stress, but give you a sense of empowerment to change other things.

Just say no.

Did you know that you don’t have to do everything you’re asked to do?  I’m ashamed to admit that it took me a long time to figure that one out.

If you are someone who can “get things done,” there will always be someone with a worthy cause who needs your skills.  Often we feel flattered and agree before we really give the request due consideration.  Then, once we get into it, we feel overwhelmed and put-upon.  Does any of this sound familiar?

So, before you say yes, give it thoughtful and honest consideration.  If your plate is full, or if you just don’t want to do something someone asks of you, politely refuse.

Fix yourself a nice cup of herbal tea.

Don’t get me wrong – I still drink a lot of coffee every day, but this time it’s because I enjoy the taste.  But when I feel stressed, I fix myself a nice, hot, soothing mug of herbal tea, decaffeinated.  I find the whole process of heating the kettle, steeping the tea, and then inhaling the aroma to be extremely calming.   Fixing yourself a cup of tea is reaffirming and soothing.  It’s a small act that can give you a big psychological boost.

Shorten your “to-do” list.

Do you really have to go to all those meetings on your schedule, or can you delegate?  Do you really need to clean your house from top to bottom every week, or would once a month work better?  (Better yet, can you afford to hire someone to do it?!)  If you’ve got too much on your plate, then it’s time to decide between the things that you “should do” and those you “must do.”  Delegate or eliminate the “should dos,” and prioritize the “must dos.”

Change your attitude to gratitude.

Every morning during my quiet time, I ponder all the things I am grateful for that day.  My wonderful family.  A beautiful sunrise.  The squirrels chasing each other in the backyard.  A new client.  Being able to work from home.  Big things and small things all get due consideration.  Some things are permanent on the list (like the family!), but others come and go, depending on the day and my mood.

Learning to be thankful for what I have instead of constantly trying to figure out a way to get more has gone a long way toward easing the stress in my life, I can tell you!  I’m not saying you can’t strive for bigger and better, I’m just saying that along the journey, we need to appreciate that which we have.

What are you grateful for?  Try taking a few moments each day to really feel thankful for the abundance in which you live.  You’ll be amazed at what a little gratitude can do for your stress level.

Start a yoga practice.

One of the things I am most grateful for is discovering yoga.  A regular practice of yoga not only keeps your body flexible and your bones strong, but it is one of the best stress management strategies I know.  Yoga improves your overall sense of well-being and improves your sense of balance.   I’ve been practicing about four and a half years now.  I used to take classes twice a week, but now I rotate between several different yoga DVDs.

Yoga doesn’t have to be mystical or spiritual, although that can certainly be part of it if you so choose.  I choose to focus on the many health benefits of yoga instead.  I strongly encourage you to give it a try.  Start with a beginner class or a beginner DVD.

Laugh your head off!

The health benefits of laughter are well-documented.  There are numerous studies that show people who laugh a lot are less stressed and enjoy a longer, healthier life.  Some doctors even say you should have at least10 deep belly laughs each day for optimum results.  Guess that’s as good as any to start developing your funny bone!

Stress less. Enjoy life more.

Whether you know it or not, if you’re living a stressed life, you aren’t enjoying life to its fullest.  Resolve today to take control of your life and your stress level!

Copyright 2009, BusinessBurrito.com.  All rights reserved.

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When things go wrong, does your organization put its energy into finding the guilty parties to blame? Or does your organization work to solve problems?

We have developed into a blaming society. Mom blames the older siblings when problems arise in the household. Teacher finds someone to blame when things go out of control in the class room. Management and unions blame each other. Political parties use blame in the extreme, and it is disruptive, subordinating national goals under political aims. Spouses unfortunately play the blame game to the destruction of marriages and families. Experts in many realms teach that making things better should be the focus of our energies. The barrier to this is blame.

Blame is the process of assigning responsibility for an event on another. Various emotions drive the blame, and it results in loss of face, embarrassment, fear and anger. It is unpleasant for all parties concerned. The language of blame and problem solving is distinctively different, and a study of real life situations could be constructive for managers hoping to rise above the cauldron of anger and blame. A manager may assign responsibility for a task without assigning blame. And you can hold someone accountable for results without blaming. The distinction is in the language and tone of the message. Robert Bacal, consultant from Casselman, Ontario gives some helpful scenarios:

Blame – ‘If you had done your work on time, we wouldn’t be in this mess.’

Factual statement – ‘Your responsibility is to fulfill your work commitments on time. When your work wasn’t available, I had to speak to the boss without the information I needed.’

The factual statement is the prelude to problem solving. The blame statement is bound to cause sparks to fly. Problem solving is focused on the present and the future. The goal is fixing a present problem and seeking to prevent it in the future.

Problem solving lacks the emotions of blaming, and it is less personal and more systems oriented. The problem solving process needs an understanding of the past and an understanding of the root causes of issues. It may include:

Clarifying the problem, goal or purpose

Collecting data, gain understanding

Diagnose, identify sources of problem

Formulate hypotheses for cause

Formulate a strategy for solution

Evaluate, collect more data

Note that assigning of blame is not part of the process. Neither is there room for emotional upheavals. Solving problems requires the use of a process, much of which was created by Deming. TQM, the quality system of modern companies, provides the structure and knowledge on how to solve problems the efficient way. Whether you are pursuing continuous improvement, organizational reinforcement, or improving performance on various levels, the issue of blame vs. problem solving is critical.

When problems occur, such as lack of performance, failure to meet commitments, etc, and you need to intervene, use problem solving. Begin by trying to understand the problem and underlying issues with the employee. Poor performance can be the result of boredom, stress, limited skills or knowledge, or other systems issues such as equipment or authority. Working with the employee to attack the root problem will help avoid it in the future. The focus is on the future. Additional scenarios by Robert Bacal:

Blame

Mgr: John, you should have let me know this work would not be ready for the meeting. We all looked stupid in front of the boss, and it’s going to take us time to recover.

John: I tried to tell you, but you were on vacation. And I forgot. You are very hard to get a hold of, you know.

Mgr: You could have called me at home.

John: I didn’t want to bother you. You said I shouldn’t call you unless it was absolutely urgent.

The manager attacks, and the employee defends. This could end up with attacks flying back and forth. The situation is not pleasant. Now look at how it could have gone:

Problem Solving

Mgr: John, I expected to have information from you prior to the teleconference. We need to figure out what happened and how to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Was I not clear on the date, or was there some other thing that caused us to miss the deadline?

John: Well, I might have misunderstood about the urgency, and when you went on vacation, I didn’t want to bother you at home.

Mgr: OK, well, how does this sound. If I need something on an urgent basis, I’ll make sure that I tell you in the future. I can also let people know when it is OK to call me at home, so it will be easier. I am also going to ask you to please keep me informed, though on projects like this we won’t be embarrassed again. Does this make sense?

John: Yes, and I have more input that may be useful….

You can feel the difference in the dialogues. The problem solving dialogue is neutral aimed at finding where the problem lies and works to prevent reoccurrence. Of course, it may not go this smoothly, and it is oversimplified.

Modeling problem solving in everything you do, staff meetings and other gatherings, is an excellent habit to form. When in a conference, and blame raises its ugly head, redirect with ‘what can we do, then, in the future?’ Seek a problem solving attitude when blame is assigned during a meeting. When you start doing this you begin to create a blameless culture, a responsible culture that discourages empty complaints that will put you in the middle of other people’s disputes.

Moving from blame to problem solving is a tough road because many people will not discern the difference. For some, being responsible also means to be at fault. When blame raises its head, return to the problem, ask diagnostic questions, begin to find root causes, and avoid being drawn into the blame game. In time, some people will begin to see the difference and trust that you are not blaming but attempting to fix the problem.

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The main barrier to recalling and benefiting from dreams is that waking and dreaming memory aren’t connected nearly as well as they could be with greater intention, practice and focus. Making a relatively consistent effort to remember and especially to record your dreams will help your waking mind align and integrate your dream experience. It’s also an excellent way to increase imagination and intuitive capabilities which are both intimately connected with dreams. This alone should provide strong incentive.

IT’S IMPORTANT TO WANT IT:

First and foremost, you must feel that it will be useful to you, if not extremely valuable. Without this intention, motivation will soon disappear. More importantly, the desire acts as a subjective magnet which draws your dreams into memory.

FOCUS and ATTENTION:

Understand that dream recall is an inherent, natural human trait. That is why young children are quite in touch with their dreams, as are many native cultures, some of which even share their dreams with each other daily and base important life actions upon guidance they receive. Dream recall is like a mental muscle – the more you use it, the stronger it becomes. Without exercise it may shrink, but it is there if you decide to work it out again. So if your recall is poor, trust that it will come in time, and the trust itself will actually help since expectation is a powerful subjective tool.

BEDTIME PRACTICE:

Before sleep, reread your dreams from the night (or more) before. This allows you to begin to connect with your dream memory, and is also an opportunity to interpret your dreams and spot connections to the day’s events. Then, as you go to bed, clearly request (rather than command) yourself to remember any dreams when you awaken in the morning or during the night, especially ones that would be beneficial to you. Also remind yourself that it’s a simple, natural process that happens by itself anyway. You can also suggest to yourself to spontaneously awaken when you need to without using an alarm, since any strong external perception such as a loud noise can inhibit recall. This method works well with practice, but you may initially wish to set your alarm for 15 minutes after your suggested wake-up time, just to be safe. Whenever you awaken, keep your eyes closed (or shut them if already open) and remain as motionless as possible. If you moved since waking, return to your earlier body position. Gather as many images, impressions, feelings, or body sensations or waking thoughts as you can. A helpful technique is to think of it like fishing. Gently, cast out your intention to remember a dream, and wait a little to see what comes. As soon as you get anything, no matter how brief or vague they may at first seem, rise and immediately record (or write, draw, paint, etc.) it in a journal or speak into a tape recorder (which you keep bedside). You’ll be surprised at how much more you remember as you begin writing/speaking/drawing/painting/etc.

BE PLAYFUL, PATIENT, and PERSISTENT:

Although most people start having success the first week or two, dream recall is a mental muscle which may require some time to get back into shape. Try to maintain a relaxed and playful attitude of looking forward to your dreams while being willing to let them come all in good time. Trying too hard or being too serious can be limiting factors. Dream recall and motivation tend to come and go naturally in cycles and also depend upon what else is going on in your life, and on how much sleep you get, how much you exercise, etc.. Once you begin a period of focusing on recall, stick with it for at least a few days, because consecutive nights can have an additive effect.

A WEEKLY STUDY GROUP with a shared interest in dreams like the teleclasses offered through The DREAMS Foundation (www.dreams.ca) is unmatchable for sustained motivation, inspiration and plenty of intriguing surprises and insights.

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About six years ago, I came to a life-altering decision.

I was sick and tired of being…well…sick and tired.

Unable to sleep through the entire night because of fears of things left undone, unsaid, or forgotten, I’d drag myself through my days fueled by cup after cup of black coffee.  My routine was to work 8 a.m. to 6 or 7 p.m., go home and cook dinner, kiss my husband, tuck my little girl into bed, grab my computer and work until midnight.  I was so stressed out I didn’t even know I was stressed out.  But to me it seemed “normal.”

This went on for years.  Until the day my mother died at age 64.

Funny how something so profound can change the entire way you view the world.  I decided life was way too short to spend it stressed out.  I became a student of stress management strategies and used them to eventually heal myself.

Many of us live lives full of stress – from the moment we get up, to the time we go to bed (and just lay there staring at the ceiling).

Although we’d like to think stress simply resides in our minds, the fact is that stressful thoughts do damage to our bodies.  Experts agree that stress is a factor in hundreds of diseases and illnesses – everything from strokes to Alzheimer’s to obesity can be caused or acerbated by stress.

Does any of this sound familiar?  If so, then it’s time to take back your life like I did.  I’d like to share some of the stress management strategies I use and continue to use every day.

Find the Root Cause.

Managing the stress in your life starts first with identifying the sources of your stress.  Some things are probably pretty easy to figure out – like unreasonable deadlines, or the death of someone close to you.  Other things may not be so obvious and you may need to do some self-introspection to figure it out.

One thing to remember is that living in constant stress is not a normal state of being. In order to determine the sources of your stress, examine your habits, attitudes, and the excuses you make.  Are you always making excuses to your spouse for having to work late?  Do blame other people or events for your stress?  These could be places to analyze as potential stressors.

Once you identify your stressors, you must then work to eliminate those stressors, or at least make them more manageable.  The following tips should help you with this task.

Stop Procrastinating.

I have a rule I live by, and I encourage those I mentor to live by it as well.  The rule is this:

Do what you most don’t want to do first.

It may not be the end-all cure for your procrastination, but it sure as heck will knock a dent in it.  That’s because a lot of procrastination stems from the fact that we put off the things we dread.  The more we dread it, the more we put it off.  It’s human nature.  However, by making a habit of doing the dreaded deed first, you set yourself free.  You will start thinking of yourself as someone who can and will get things done. Soon your procrastination days will be over.

Minus the Mess.

Whether you believe it or not, cluttered, disorganized surroundings affect your mental state. Physical clutter reminds us – often subconsciously – that things need to be done that aren’t getting done, and that causes us more stress.  

I have a close friend who recently decided to start clearing the clutter out of his life, and getting organized.  He started with his office, throwing away, organizing – he saw surfaces he hadn’t seen in years!  After he tackled this, he started on his garage.  The more clutter he threw out and organized, the lighter his stress level and the clearer his thought patterns became.  When you remove the physical clutter and you’ll eliminate the mental clutter, lowering your stress and raising your energy.

Have Faith.

Experts agree that people who believe in a power beyond themselves are generally less stressed.  Attending church, fellowshipping with others of like faith, and nurturing one’s spiritual side have a calming and soothing effect on our minds.

Practice Extreme Self-Care.

It took me a while to figure out that unless I took care of myself, there would be little left of me to take care of others.  Many people feel selfish when they start putting their needs ahead of others, but believe me, you have to do it.

Some of the things you must do to practice self-care from a physical standpoint include exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet, reducing caffeine and sugar, increasing your intake of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and lean meats.  One other thing…you must get enough sleep!  People who don’t get enough sleep not only increase their stress levels, but studies show they decease their life expectancy.

Just as important as practicing physical self-care is practicing spiritual/emotional self-care.  While the first feeds your body, the latter feeds your soul.  Start by identifying five things you enjoy doing, but rarely get a chance to do.  For example, my list would include reading a good book, going to a yoga class, getting a manicure, watching a great old movie, visiting my favorite coffee shop.  Once you identify your top five (you can have more if you wish!), begin scheduling them into your daily calendar.  It may be tough to carve out the time at first…you may need to start with one per week and work your way up. You’ll be surprised at how pampering yourself can make you feel cared for and less stressed.

Reframe the situation.

Much like reframing an old picture can give it new life, so can reframing the situations that cause us stress.

According to Dr. Don Colbert, author of The Seven Pillars of Health, the term reframing means learning to see the past, present and future in a positive light.  It goes beyond “positive thinking,” however.  

Reframing is a concept pioneered by psychologist Albert Ellis to help patients replace irrational thoughts with rational, realistic statements.  Reframing calls upon a person to shift his focus away from his present point of view in order to “see” another person or situation from a different perspective.  When negative thoughts pop up, Colbert and Ellis maintain that we should challenge and assess them, never accepting them at face value.

Do you ever find yourself dwelling on negative situations or thoughts?  I know I did!  Once I started reframing the situation from a positive slant, I no longer felt the need to relive those thoughts over and over in my head.

For example, instead of dwelling on the fact that you wrecked the car, reframe the situation by being thankful you weren’t hurt.  Nearly every situation – even the most traumatic ones – can be reframed.  This may sound simplistic, but by mastering the technique, you will get rid of a lot of unnecessary stress.

Breathe.

When we get stressed, we tend to breathe more quickly and shallowly.  In turn, this causes us to become even more stressed.  One way to counteract this is to take slow, deep, fulfilling breaths. Start by sitting up straight. Breathing through your nose, inhale from your stomach, allowing your breath to expand your stomach and move up through your lungs.  Exhale in the opposite direction, letting the air flow through your nose from your lungs until your stomach is flattened and your lungs are emptied. As you inhale, inhale relaxation.  As you exhale, exhale stress and tension.  This works even better if you combine it with the Minute Meditation below:

Meditate for a Minute.

You don’t have to cultivate a long meditation practice to reap the benefits.  Even a short, focused 60-second meditation can help de-stress your body and your mind. That’s because taking a moment to quiet your mind stops the forward momentum of anxiety and nervousness that can so quickly get away from us.

Three easy steps:  1)  Relax.  Scan your body and release any tight muscles, especially those muscles in your jaw, shoulders, and neck.  Start from the top of your head and work your way down, releasing the muscles as you go.  When you’re through, start your 60-second meditation by 2) Focusing your attention completely on each breath, each inhalation and exhalation.  When your mind wanders, bring it back to your breathing.  Do this for one minute and 3) Wrap up by returning to awareness of your body and surroundings.  Take one last deep breath and wiggle your fingers and toes, refreshed and ready.

I do this several times through out the day, especially when I need to jump-start my creative thought.  I find regular practice works wonders for both my stress level and productivity.

Finding Balance.

The ultimate goal, of course, is to lead a balanced life, with time to do everything that is important to us – plus have the necessary energy to meet challenges and achieve our goals.  Stress steals our joy, our peace of mind, and our dreams.  My hope is that you use these stress management strategies to help you find balance and peace in your life.

Copyright 2009, BusinessBurrito.com.  All rights reserved.

Trouble sleeping?

Afraid to start taking sleeping pills and other medication? You are correct there is a nautural cure.

However, your body produces a hormone called melatonin, and for a variety of reasons, you may not be getting enough. Your sleep problem may be due to this.

The answer to sleep problems, aging and many more questions may be found in this wonderful hormone called melatonin.

Melatonin is a natural hormone found in ALL living creature, from the plant to animal kingdoms. In higher animal species, it is produced in the pineal gland (in the brain), but also in the eye (retina) and the gastro-intestinal tract.

What is Melatonin?

A naturally occurring hormone (derived from serotonin) that is both endocrine (enters the bloodstream from a pineal gland) and paracrine (signaling cell phenomenon, as from the retina when light is low, when the signal is “time to sleep”).

Melatonin, besides being a sleep hormone, is a very powerful antioxidant, anti-aging agent, immunoregulator, anti-depressant and sexual dysfunction regulator.

Is it Safe to Take?

Actually, the 3mg standard dose has virtually no side effects, and does not also affect the body’s ability to produce its own melatonin.

Rather, in today’s world where we are exposed to great amounts of strong artificial light, our bodies will not produce the melatonin it generally needs.

Melatonin also plays a key role in memory and our ability to learn quickly.

Some very famous studies have been made on melatonin (one by the Nobel Prize laureate Julius Axelrod) where it was proven that melatonin plays a direct role in establishing our sleep cycle and more.

In some mammals with short mating periods (due to hibernation), melatonin also is related to the production of other hormones which control sexual activity.

There are no toxic dangers at all, but it will cause drowsiness, so one must not take it prior to driving or operating mechanical equipment.

It may also react with some medications, so if you are taking any monoamine oxidize inhibitors (MAOIs), you must consult your doctor before taking melatonin

Melatonin and Your Sleep

It seems the very best and easiest solution to restless and un-easy sleep is to take one 3mg melatonin tablet 15 minutes prior to going to bed.

Also for at least 1 hour before going to sleep, make sure the lighting in your environment is progressively less and less, so as to stimulate your body’s own melatonin secretions.

Remember, bright light can block melatonin production completely.

Along with the melatonin and dim lights, try to put on some restful and soothing music to keep your mind from focusing on your problems and not sleeping.

Sleep should come too effortlessly, without dangerous and habit forming drugs.

Some Interesting facts about Melatonin

People who work at night, and have their melatonin blocked by evening bright lights have a significant higher incidence of cancer than day workers.

Melatonin appears to prevent the hyperphosphorylation of the tau protein.

It has been proven that hyperphosphorylation of tau protein results in the formation of neurofibrillary tangles. Neurofibrillary tangles are a pathological occurrence seen in Alzheimer’s, so melatonin may prove a very beneficial treatment as well as preventative for Alzheimer’s disease.

So, instead of getting hooked on sleeping medicines, try melatonin, and remember all the other benefits it may bring to you as well.

Overcoming Low Self Esteem – How’s it going with stopping your aggressive self talk? This could take you some time to do, but you may progress well if you simply stay with it.

Today, I’ve got some concepts on how it’s possible for you to learn how to treat yourself more kindly. Yesterday, I asked you how you would treat somebody you cared about. You would possibly not abuse them, definitely, but you may even do something nice for them.

Perhaps you tell them you care about them, or would buy them something they need from time to time.

In general, it’s likely that you would encourage them both verbally and thru your actions, and you would do what you might and to make certain they knew they were loved and cared for. It’s time you probably did this for yourself, too.

Here are 3 straightforward things you can do to start :

1) make efforts to spend time doing things you enjoy. If you have low pride, frequently you do not do things you need to just because you are either too busy attempting to please others and have no time, or as you haven’t paid attention to what you need to do, to what will make you relax and have fun.

From this point on, start making time to do stuff you adore, like chasing creative endeavors, socializing with buddies and family, reading books you’ve always wished to, watching a fave flick, spend time on journaling hopes and dreams, or taking part in hobbies you enjoy. What you do does not truly matter, except that you have to have a good time and you have to do it. This could be tough to do at first, as you might feel guilty about taking time for yourself.

Maybe you even feel a bit greedy or greedy as you wish to do nice things for yourself. Ignore all of that! Do those things any way. As time passes and you keep doing these things, you will start to be more comfortable in passing time just on you.

2) Treat yourself well physically, too. Exercise, eat right, and get sufficient rest. If you have poor self-image, it’s likely that you have neglected your own self-care, so you finish up exhausted and even sick. Don’t do that.

You merit the same care and attention you would give another person, even if you are not certain you merit it just yet.

3) Give yourself a treat. Naturally, you must look after yourself mentally and physically, and you must have fun on a constant basis. The next thing you must do is to treat yourself.

Do this frequently ; these “treats” don’t need to be pricey. They just need to be something that you can really enjoy which will make you feel special. Buy yourself a new book or outfit, have lunch out with a good buddy, or take in a flick you have needed to see. Doing this will raise your mood and make you feel just like you are basking in praise. These things may appear tiny, but little things matter too, often more than enormous ones.

As time goes on and you continue to nurture yourself in these methods, you can start to seriously improve how you feel about yourself. And really, that is the entire point. Tomorrow, let’s go into ideology a little bit more. This time, though, we’ll look at how it’s possible for you to start to believe in yourself again.

It is impossible to quantify the flurry emotions that go on in the life of an individual at each moment. However, to keep things simple for the sake of understanding, let us assume that human beings can be broadly classified into two categories, one who have self-confidence and the second who don’t.

We all must have witnessed at some point of time how the self-confident people conduct themselves. They are normally very confident in their walk, talk and anything that they do. Sometimes, they can be so marvelously eloquent in their speech that we are left with no option but to admire them with awe. They very often evoke a feeling from within us that is if such is the way ideal men/women are supposed to lead their lives, why can’t I aspire to be like them?

The more time that we spend in the company of such confident people, the more clearly we are able to see the vast difference between them and the people with low self-esteem. The people with low self-esteem are normally so low on confidence that they tremble just by the idea of interacting with others.

Eventually, what identifies an individuals’ confidence level is the disposition of the individual. If an individual conducts himself/herself with aplomb, he/she is considered high of self-confidence, else low on it.

Well, developing self-confidence is within every ones reach. Very fortunately, self-confidence is not something that we inherit from our parents, but is cultivated and conditioned during our growing up years and even until the later part of our lives.

In case you are among the lot that is immensely low on self-esteem and want to give yourself a shot in the arm, the primary thing that you must concentrate on is try changing your basic perceptions and attitudes.

Many people resort to spirituality and chant various mantras as soon as they discover their confidence levels dipping. It is the best method to verbally communicate to ones inner self and recondition ones state of mind. It also helps in determining that your actions are not true representation of the individual that you are. The mistakes and errors you may have committed are not the correct reflection of you as an individual. They’re mostly temporary in nature and do not in any way represent your true potential, which is boundless.

All this may sound quite obvious or spontaneous, but still may feel like unachievable as well. What is of utmost importance is that you develop strong belief in your abilities. Unless you do that, you will always find yourself slipping back into lower self-esteem condition time and again.

Such an effort is also vital in keeping you off your negative thoughts and tendencies. Nothing can be more detrimental to your efforts to develop high self-confidence than giving into your negative tendencies. You must constantly be on guard against all such habits and actively try to suppress negative feelings whenever they surface.

Have you ever wondered why it is that you always get stuck and experience problems that stop you moving forward in life at a certain point? If your answer is yes, you are already way ahead of the crowd. Why? Because most people do not even realise that they are experiencing the same problems at certain points in their lives over and over again.

It is the nature of human performance that we keep running patterns. Patterns of thinking, patterns of behaviour, patterns for coping, patterns for learning, patterns for dealing with our friends, spouse, parents. Patterns are everywhere. The trick is recognising them and assessing them correctly.

Sounds pretty simple, maybe even obvious, doesn’t it? The real problem though is that most patterns come in different guises. They are well camouflaged, wrapped in extensive packaging, making it more difficult for us to notice them. Unless you find a way of clearly identifying these patterns, whenever they occur, you will not be able to make constructive changes. Therefore the first step is finding a way to identify your behaviour patterns. You can do this easily by learning self awareness.

The simplest way to observe your actions is by employing a technique that allows you to step back from yourself. To my mind this is best done by elevating your energy levels, which will make you feel good about yourself, no matter what is going on in your life at the moment.

Out of the many energy therapies out there EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique is one of the best for this purpose. EFT belongs to the group of energy therapies. It is powerful and very quick and easy to learn. Using a combination of needle free acupuncture and mind focus EFT relaxes you by putting you in an alpha state of mind. This state of mind makes you more open to suggestions, it is also a state, which allows subconscious behaviours to surface.

This is precisely what we are after. Once you are cognitive about a particular pattern you are running and know exactly when it kicks in, you will automatically see all the times you have been running it in the past. These aha moments are like kaleidoscopes unfolding. Now you can do something positive to help yourself in the future. Again, awareness is key, but since you know what to look for you are able to recognize the beginning of a pattern much easier.

How do you stop these old behaviours unfolding though? EFT again is your tool. The moment you recognise an old pattern unfolding you use the EFT modality focusing on the changes you now wish to make.

When we work with EFT, opening the energy channels by tapping on a small number of meridian points on body and face whilst we focus on an issue that we wish to resolve, we also build new neural pathways. The is a very fast process. One round, as we call it, takes about a minute to complete.I usually recommend to do at least three rounds. You can use this technique as often as you like throughout your day.

Use EFT at least three times throughout their day and you will get noticeable shifts in behaviour very quickly. Sometimes these shifts can be almost instantaneous, particularly when you realise with total clarity how your own repetitive behaviour has done you more harm then good.

EFT is a great mood enhancer and calmer. It goes without saying that you are more willing to embrace change and enhance your mental acuity and creativity when you are in a good frame of mind. We all can get into this state temporarily. The key to eradicating any problem successfully is maintaining an unattached, upbeat mind set. This is precisely what you can achieve with regular use of Emotional Freedom Technique. Please check out the many ways how you can help yourself with EFT. It really can enrich your life.

Lean Six Sigma Project Format

3 – 5 Weeks in duration 2 – 3 days per week Team members return to work for the remainder of the week or use time to gather data and communicate updates to department employees Project Phases – Define, Analyze / Mapping, Design, Rollout Plan Education/workshop on day 1 of each week, if needed Report out to Business/Executive Sponsor 2 – 6 month Implementation Rollout, Monthly Team follow-up meetings / conference calls

The Lean Six Sigma Project Format works on projects that need a few weeks to complete the improvement.  This can be due to many reasons.

The scope of the project may cross multiple departments and cannot be broken down into smaller parts or the process will be sub-optimized The team will need to gather, analyze and quality-check data before making critical decisions (Performance, Sales or Time Study data) The small Lean Six Sigma Team needs to get input from company associates who are not on the team, to ensure buy-in

In these circumstances the changes made by the Lean Six Sigma Team need to be well thought-out.  Decision-making cannot be rushed!

Projects that require a 3 – 5 week project versus a one week Kaizen event include:

Customer profitability analysis – Politically sensitive data and decisions Product rationalization – Important to use correct data or highly negative decisions can be made Order to Delivery streamlining – Processes that touch multiple departments Human Resource processes – Often involving legal issues Warehouse layout – A lot of work required Flow Manufacturing / Kanban Materials Management – Where parts, supplies and components are shared by different product families and therefore different Flow Cells Supply Chain improvements – Involving suppliers

Kaizen Event Format

Day 1 – Lean Education

Day 2 – Analyze current process and begin improvements

Day 3 – Continue improvements

Day 4 – Document new standards

Day 5 – Present results and celebrate

Failings of the Kaizen Event Method

> Action Item List not completed

> Rushed decisions

> Incomplete time studies

> Data not quality checked

> Poor record of sustaining

Kaizen events are meant to start and finish a Lean project in one week.  In many cases, however, the Friday celebration is just creating an action item list.  When the energy and focus of the Kaizen week is over, this action item list often lingers and the action items never get completed.  The result is that actual savings/improvements are far less than the calculated savings.

Because of the 1 week format, and the fact that the team is working full time on this project, decisions are often rushed.  Allocating 1 day to do time studies or gather other critical data is just not enough.  In 1 week, a few product families get time studied but not all.  Data is gathered, but it is not verified as being accurate.  There is no time to gather additional input from employees that are knowledgeable about this process, but are not on the team.

The result is often a solution that is “shoved down people’s throats”.  When this happens, employees who were not on the team will naturally push-back.  The result is an unsustainable process and actual results never equal the theoretical results.

Anyone involved in Kaizen events will tell you that sustaining is the hardest part.  But in the Kaizen process it gets the least focus.

What Kaizen Events Are Good At

Kaizen events can be successful.  There are two circumstances where we have been successful using the one week events to improve processes.

First is when the process being analyzed is very focused, affects only one or two departments and does not impact other parts of the company.  We used a Kaizen Event at a Retailer who was looking at eliminating redundant paperwork in the Procurement department.  This involved primarily just Buyers and Administrators in Procurement.  The improvements the Lean Team made were eliminating printing and copying paper.  This didn’t affect other departments in the company.

Another example of a focused Kaizen Event is reducing machine set-up time using Quickchangeover tools.  This improvement is focused on one machine and can largely get done, while communicating with all operators involved, in one week.

Kaizen Events can also be affective for 5S Visual Management implementations.  This involves labeling, organizing and sorting the workplace.  We would usually involve most of the people who work in the area involved.  This type of Lean tool can usually get done in one week (if the area is properly scoped out in advance) and does not have numerous additional action items that need to be completed after the week is over.

Benefits of the Lean Project Format

Breaks in the project (non project meeting-days) allow time to gather, quality check and refine data Breaks allow time to present current state process flow maps or time study results to additional department employees who are not on the Lean Team Duration of the project provides enough time to complete time studies of all product families The last week is dedicated to creating a control plan (how solution will be integrated into the business) and rollout plan

The key to the success of the Project Format is the duration of the project and the breaks in between meeting-days.  The duration allows for a completeness of analysis, communication of the improvements and a design that works and is well received by all department employees.

The breaks give Lean Team Members time to catch up with their regular jobs and work externally of the Lean Six Sigma Project to gather the data and communicate the current state with fellow department employees.

The last week of the project is dedicated to thinking about Sustainment.  This involves Control Plans, or how the process improvement will be integrated into the business process.  The team also builds a Rollout Plan (schedule) to show how changes will be sequenced into the business to ensure testing and acceptance.

Sometimes going a little bit slower will achieve real results faster.