You Can be Great If You Really Want To

One’s success is never measured against that of others but is usually a matter of oneself and his potential. If at all you do exploit your full potential, then you are already successful in your own way, in spite of the standard that society may expect you to uphold in order to be considered successful. The real purpose of our lives is to give out the best from within ourselves, rather than to reach a certain destination.

To bring out one’s absolute best should never therefore be mistaken for being the best. As pointed out, success isn’t a matter of destination but is a life long journey. The effort put in utilizing your talents to the maximum is what is important, as compared with the by-products obtained as a result.

Therefore strive to always be yourself, be authentic and you should never seek to impress. Let your unique talents define and give you a specific feeling of purpose and appreciation. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter. Always view yourself with aplomb.

If you respect yourself you will then not harm your body or character by indulging in drugs or hanging out with bad company. You should learn to take good care of yourself and always seek to make the right choices.

The reason why you should always feel self confident is because you are special in your own right. Whenever you disrespect yourself, others tend to also disrespect you too. Try exploiting your God given gifts so as to boost your self esteem and thus be able to bring out the jewel in you.

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I love receiving compliments! It makes me feel like a friendly, competent, loving person.

Strangely enough, not all people enjoy receiving compliments. Are you one of those people who get embarrassed and immediately respond with something like “oh no, that’s not true at all!”. You may think to yourself that the other person is just saying that in order to be kind to you without actually meaning it.

How often do you say positive things about others without meaning it? Ok, you may tell some white lies some times when your mother-in-law asks you about how she looks in her new dress, but apart from that you probably mean what you say in most cases. In general you can trust that if somebody tells you something positive about yourself, they actually mean it. If there is no obvious reason for lying, such as you just having asked them about whether they like your new shoes, you can assume that what the other person says is true. The more spontaneous and specific the comment is the more likely it is that the person actually thinks that you are great in the way they say you are.

Next time you receive a compliment, try to simply smile and say “Thank you!”. If you want to take one step further, try saying “Thank you, you make me very happy by saying that!”. The great thing about replying in this way is that it not only makes you accept the compliment as true, but it is also a disguised “compliment-in-return”. When you tell the other person that he/she made you happy, he/she will feel like a good person who has just achieved something great too. Then you can feel good about making the other person feel good, so now you have two things to feel good about: the specific comment that you got and the fact that you just made another person feel good.

Compliments are great! The more you spend, the more keeps coming back to you! Most people have a severe compliment-deficit. Try to spread more compliments around you! Your warm words may mean the world to someone who has not received any compliments for weeks (or months or years…). Planting compliments around you is one of the best things you can do to “save the world”! It will also make you feel like a good person and it will therefore raise your self-esteem. Great, isn’t it?! You’ll raise the self-esteem of yourself and others at the same time!

If you want to know more about how receiving and giving compliments can help YOU, contact me at coach@livmiyagawa.com or visit www.livmiyagawa.com!

Liv Miyagawa – The Self-Esteem Coach

www.livmiyagawa.com

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We need to be positive in our thinking and attitudes when trying to improve our own self esteem. For helping others we also need to use a positive approach, and help them see their self worth and value too.

If we ourselves feel our self esteem benefits from receiving encouragement and supportive treatment by others, then clearly we can help others by encouraging them and reassuring them that they are valued and respected by us.

Not everyone is brought up in an environment where it is normal to give complements or pats on the back. Not everyone is used to this. It does feel good though, to hear that you have done something well, or have dealt with something in the right way.

My husband and I have a deal that every Saturday morning we use all our endeavours to be loving and supportive, and not to disagree. It’s the week end, and after a week at work we are both tired and would like to relax, we don’t always want to do the household chores and maintenance jobs that are necessary. Somehow there is always so much to do on a Saturday, so Saturday mornings can be stressful.

The deal is that we agree with each other, and congratulate each other for every good idea or suggestion. This is good practice at being nice and supportive to each other when we are both feeling tired. And it always brings a smile to both of our faces, and a reason for a hug and some mutual nurturing.

It helps us remember that the chores and jobs are less important than our support for each other and the need to care for each other.

Part of the commitment within family life is to give mutual support and encouragement. Sometimes we forget. Sometimes our egos or our schedules just get in the way. Sometimes we can be unforgiving, critical and judgmental.

However it is within our family that we can provide most help and support, and within our family that we can most benefit from it too.

Isn’t it generally the case that when two people meet and fall in love, they smile at the whole world. When you are in love you want everyone else to be happy too. As relationships develop it can be hard to feel that euphoria with the world and our loved ones on an every day basis. Every day just creeps in and we act differently. We forget to smile at each other, and don’t feel like spreading warmth and joy like chocolate chips to everyone we meet.

It is time to stop and think. What are some of the principles of happiness, confidence and good self esteem?

- Making our health and well one of our priorities.

- Nurturing ourselves.

- Respecting ourselves, our bodies and our minds.

- Respecting others.

So if we start to see how much happier we can be in our family lives if we make the effort to remember to be kind, supportive, and generous with praise and affection, we can help each other, and help ourselves.

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