Leadership Excellence: Retaining the Best People Requires a Foundation of Trust

We accept that trust is a key enabler of efficient and productive working relationships. We’re less sure about what it means to say we trust someone and even more perplexed by what it takes to engender trust. Let’s call the moment of trust that point in time when you have to make a decision and the outcome is both uncertain and dependent what someone else chooses to do. In this article, I want to come at the moment of trust from the perspective of the leader who wants to create conditions favorable to trust.

In particular, I want to focus on the three primary factors that impact the choice someone makes in a moment of trust: 1) How uncertain is the outcome? 2) How high are the stakes? 3) How familiar is the situation?

Business leaders can’t do much to lower real risks or to alter a person’s prior experience with trust. They can, however, impact the level of uncertainty their team experiences and raise the chances that someone will opt to trust.

Certainty helps people feel in control. Uncertainty can have the opposite effect, causing people to doubt, grow fearful, and imagine the worst. The higher the stakes, the greater an impact uncertainty will have, and the greater the reward for mitigating its effects. Successful strategies to deal with uncertainty can create a “virtuous cycle” of trust and positive outcomes. A series of positive outcomes creates a new shared history for team members to draw on.

How do you raise people’s tolerance for uncertainty? Model the behavior you wish to see: openness, collaboration, and genuineness, for a start. Then, consider the antidote to uncertainty and fear: consistent and reliable information from a trusted source. Here are four specific behaviors trustworthy leaders consistently employ.

Clarify what’s been decided and what hasn’t

Everyone’s been in meetings where management poses a problem, then “brainstorms” the answer with everyone at the table. Trouble is, the decisions have already been made. The meeting is just a way to break the news, and maybe get some appreciation for how tough a decision it was to make. These “answer key” meetings rarely fool anyone, and tend to create resentment rather than trust.

Transparency is the answer. Letting people know whether they’re being convened to react, provide input, or decide will accelerate decision making and give people clarity about their roles during times of uncertainty. Without transparent decision making processes, people fill in gaps in information with their own inferred data, which may be rife with judgments and biased conclusions.

Argyris’ Ladder of Inference shows how conclusions are reached; most of us are so facile at the process we’re not even aware we’re constructing a world that may have little correlation to others’ reality. In a team environment, a heavy reliance on inferred data can impair the productive functioning of the group and give rise to rumor and suspicion.

Model openness and vulnerability

A team takes its lead from the person in charge. If you demonstrate that it’s okay to make mistakes, and that you don’t have all the answers, it builds more trust within the team than a top-down style will. Strengthening the group begins with skilled, authentic engagement. As the team grows stronger, the group leader can relax the hierarchy somewhat. The overall goal is to get team members to give one another the benefit of the doubt and take risks together in creative, collaborative work. The best leaders are those who can walk through the cafeteria, sit down for a chat, and still get up in front of a group of 400 and command their respect. Don’t base your leadership style on some idealized version of the perfect leader; be the perfectly authentic version of yourself and others will trust you.

Balance inquiry and advocacy in communications

When should I communicate through asking for information and when should I communicate through expressing a point of view? It may be one of the toughest parts of a leader’s job to keep team members up to date while listening to their thoughts in a way that demonstrates both your empathy and your flexibility. Trusted leaders are those whose opinions are known and yet they remain open-minded when presented with new information.

One way to find a good balance is using the Inquiry and Advocacy model. It shows a range of communications behaviors, with authoritative, top-down communications on one end of the continuum. On the other is questioning or inquiry behavior, that shows your willingness to hear what people around you have to say, and demonstrates your understanding of their ideas. In small group settings, a balance of inquiry and advocacy can yield excellent results. Use a combination of expressing and soliciting opinions. When people are willing to be open with one another, you have a foundation for building trust. Good give-and-take between team members also raises people’s levels of involvement because they feel they have a personal stake in the outcome. When group buy-in to a decision is high, execution is more likely to be successful.

Share a consistent vision

Leaders know what they want. Collaborative leaders find opportunities to clarify what they want to others in a way that invites dialogue without second-guessing. Goals focus teams and lessen uncertainty. Organization-wide goals over the long term let people know that there is a guiding hand at the helm, and a shared set of objectives. Achieving those objectives demonstrates congruence between what is stated and what is done, reinforcing that trust is warranted and that the next challenge may be accomplished.

The object here is not to eliminate uncertainty. It is to recognize the interrelationship between people being uncomfortable because they don’t know what is going happen, and their willingness to trust others whom they perceive to have more control over the situation than they do. Having trust in a leader goes a long way toward alleviating that anxiety. No one can predict the future, but over time, people do learn to predict the kinds of behaviors they can expect from their leaders. Trustworthy leaders replace uncertainly about a situation with predictability about how the organization will respond.

Jay Gordon Cone is a Senior Consultant with Interaction Associates, Inc., a global management consulting firm. He has spent the past 25 years helping leaders and teams collaborate productively. His current consulting practice focuses on senior team facilitation, strategic thinking, leadership development, and innovation. Jay serves on the faculty of the Executive MBA program at The University of Texas at Dallas, where he teaches innovation and collaboration. His articles on leadership development have appeared in Training Magazine, The Training & Development Journal and The American Society for Training and Development’s Best of Customer Service Training. Jay received a BA in Philosophy from U.C.L.A. and an MBA from the University of Texas at Dallas. He is certified in Management Research Group’s Strategic Leadership Development Process, The Center for Creative Learning’s VIEWTM assessment of creative problem solving styles and is CAPT qualified to administer Myers-Briggs assessments.


Read more of Jay’s articles at the Interaction Associates blog.

How to Build Your Self-Esteem: Secrets of Self-Confident People

“I don’t get it. Why is my boss heading up my organization when there are much smarter people under him?’ a seminar participant asked recently. It was obvious to all of us that she was frustrated.

Since I didn’t know her boss, I couldn’t really answer, but if her boss is like many managers I’ve known, the answer is simple—self-confidence.

“Do you remember that girl in high school who really wasn’t that pretty, or even nice, but she was still popular?” I asked. “She had something about her that attracted others to her—self-confidence.”

“Instead of getting angry, maybe it’s time for you to take a page out of your boss’ book. After all, he must be doing something right,” I suggested.

I explained that someone who is confident is very attractive. And each of us has the power be self-confident. In fact, studies reveal that most of us secretly think we’re better than everyone else. We rate ourselves as more dependable, smarter, friendlier, harder-working, less-prejudiced, and even better in the sack than other people.

“Some might feel that way,” she retorted. “But I tend to be pretty hard on myself.”

Self-confidence is available to us all. All we have to do is borrow the same three strategies that people who appear to be confident use.

First, we have to know our strengths; we have to know where we shine. Friends’ feedback, past evaluations, and a variety of psychological instruments including the Myers-Briggs Indicator, The Birkman System, and the Enneagram can provide clues. I have found the book Now Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D., particularly helpful. (If you purchase the book, it will contain an identification number that allows you to take the StrengthsFinder profile on the Internet.)

Second, we have to claim our strengths, and sometimes that means “faking it till we make it.”

We claim our strengths by seeking opportunities to use them and then promote our successes. When I was in public relations, I worked with a man who was a wonderful pitch person. He was the first to volunteer to pitch a story to the media and wasn’t bashful about speaking about his successes.

There was a woman who worked at the agency who was also an excellent pitch person, and in my opinion she was much stronger than he. But because she didn’t claim her strengths she watched him fly up the corporate ladder before her.

I have seen this happen way too often to women in the workplace. Women can find it harder than men to promote themselves, and when they don’t, they do themselves a huge disservice.

Third, self-confident people fuel their confidence. All of us have days in which we doubt ourselves. I have worked with top CEOs and their self-confidence sometimes wanes too. Here are four tools I have used to help me when my self-esteem sags:

One: Create “a brag file.” Reserve a file for those cards, notes, letters, e-mails, etc., that tout your successes. When I am feeling a little down, I reach for my brag file. I have been doing this for twenty years, and I am happy to report that my brag file has gotten pretty thick over the years.

Two: Practice positive self-talk. When your inner critic rears its ugly head, tell him or her to shut up. Then remind him or her of your successes. There’s something about personalizing our inner critics that works. I have one client who calls her inner critic Sybil.

Three: Dress for success. Our appearance often reflects the way we feel about ourselves. Some mornings when my confidence is waning, I purposely reach for one of my power suits. My whole demeanor changes when I slip on that suit, and I feel better about myself.

Four: Make sure you have a strong support system. People either give us energy or rob of us energy. Take a minute to review who you spend your time with. Look closely at each person. Does he or she build up or tear down your self-esteem? Surround yourself with people who believe in you.

Confident people are magnets for success. Why not try these simple suggestions and watch your self-confidence soar.

“The Career Engineer” Randy Siegel works with organizations to take high-potential employees and give them the leadership and communications skills they need to be successful. Electrify your career by subscribing to his monthly e-Newsletter “Stand in Your Power!” at www.powerhousecommunications.com

Self-esteem – Don’t Let These People Influence You

It’s amazing how self-esteem can either be torn down or built up by the people that you are around. That’s why it’s so important to very carefully choose the people that you associate with. You see, these people can directly affect the way that you think about yourself. And, depending on the way you think about yourself, can affect the outcome of whether or not you succeed or fail in your life.

If you already have a low self-esteem, people who say negative things to you can absolutely crush you and make you feel even lower about yourself. If you don’t have a low self-esteem, you still have to watch out for people who tear you down because they can say things to you that could cause you to create self-doubt and insecurities.

I love a quote from Mark Twain which, I believe, explains how important it is to surround yourself with great people to maximize your own success in life. Mark Twain once said, ‘Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.’

This is why it’s so important, not only for your success in life, but for your self-esteem. If you purpose to surround yourself with great people, they will encourage you and instill inside of you a self-confidence that is unreal. Think about it, if someone whom you see in your own eyes as being great encourages you and tells you that you have great potential, it makes you believe it because they said it to you.

Don’t let people belittle you and tell you that you can’t do something great in life. Get around great people that can help you and show you that you can be as great as you want to be. Life is too short to be surrounding yourself with people who will only belittle you and make you feel that you are worthless.

Is there greatness on the inside of you but you don’t know how to achieve it? Jason has just completed his brand new 7 part e-course, ‘Find Your Greatness’. Get it free when you subscribe at: www.findyourgreatness.com. Jason and Rebecca Osborn have dedicated themselves to changing thousands of lives by helping people find their greatness and true potential through their Find Your Greatness Newsletter.

Leadership Tips — Shine a Light on Your People

Introduction 

Recently I was reading (re-reading, actually) John Maxwell’s book “The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader”.  It’s a great collection of easy to read, short chapters that I highly recommend. 

One of the qualities that got me to thinking was generosity.  Maxwell makes his point by saying that “your candle loses nothing when it lights another”.  

If You Don’t Develop People 

He takes the discussion in a number of different directions, but it got me to thinking about people in leadership roles who don’t develop the people who work for them.  What a huge mistake!  Think about what happens when you fail to develop your people:

You’re stuck.  If you don’t have a successor ready to take your place, how can you move up?  The only way out of your current job will be to resign.  And if you do that, you’ll leave your current employer in a bind.  Not a great way to build your references. 

Your people are stuck.  They aren’t growing, so they aren’t going anywhere.  Do you think people are going to want to work for you if that’s your reputation?   Over time, you’re going to have a weak team; the best are going to avoid you. 

 

 

It’s a death spiral, really.  You can’t go anywhere, your team is steadily declining in skill, not to mention motivation.  Your performance results can only go in one direction — the wrong one. 

It’s easy to make developing people a priority in your leadership agenda.  Plus, the more you develop people the less you feel the need to carry everyone’s load on your shoulders.  So why is it that some leaders miss the boat on this one? 

The only reasons that make any sense are a combination of lack of trust in their people, and insecurity in themselves.  Developing people does require giving them the opportunity to demonstrate their capabilities, and that means you can’t control everything they do.  If you’ve got people you can’t trust, and you don’t do something to change that, your leadership should be called into question. 

Do The Right Thing 

Enough on the negative side — you’re a capable leader, you’ve hired good people, and you’re secure enough to trust them.  How do you help them grow?

Be a teacher.  Think about what you have learned in your career.  Then think about each individual who reports to you directly.  What have you learned that John or Susan have not?  Work with them and share what you know.  If you’re a really good teacher, they won’t even notice what you’re doing.  They’ll just get it! 

Be a coach.  It’s similar to teaching, but not quite the same.  Be an active observer of what your people are doing — with employees, with clients, with partners.  Compliment them on their strengths, publicly when you get the chance.  In private, talk to them about areas in which they can improve.  Don’t tie the improvement discussions to anything like performance appraisals.  Make the private discussions as safe and non-threatening as possible.  Make sure people understand your intent is to help, not to criticize. 

Provide leadership training.  While I’m a huge advocate of having every leader be a teacher, it’s important that your people be exposed to other influences as well.  Whether you bring in some outsiders, or send three people off to two weeks of executive development each year, you want to have a reputation for giving people every opportunity to learn and grow. 

Give people credit.  If someone develops a presentation for you to deliver, make sure their name shows up somewhere in the visuals.  Assuming your presentation goes well, end it by acknowledging the individual(s) who put it together.  It takes nothing away from you, and it demonstrates your support for your people.  It seems like a little thing, but it goes a long way. 

 

 

You get the picture.  Shine the light on your people.  Only the insecure and incompetent will miss the fact that the light will reflect most favorably on you.

 

The organization that isn’t changing is dying. For more leadership ideas, along with strategies for managing change, visit www.thomasjodea.com.


Tom O’Dea has over 30 years of IT experience, with 20 years of senior leadership in IT and Professional Services with multibillion dollar corporations.

Self Esteem Lessons for Those People That Are Low on Self Esteem

Self esteem lessons are associated with those people that are low on self esteem. These lessons can improve the life these people and also their way of living. But we also must consider that self esteem is not only connected with adults but it is also associated with the young children. Giving them lessons of self esteem is an important part of inculcating values in them.

Children also need to feel the sense of self esteem, just like the adults do. Without self esteem they will find it very hard to make certain important decisions and also will find it quite hard to study. Low self esteem in children may make them do the wrong things and then try to improve them. Therefore in order to make you children develop a healthy self esteem and help them succeed in life, you must try to inculcate self esteem in them right from the beginning. Remember, giving self esteem lessons to your young one may prove as hard as it can be.00

You must always make your children feel that they can learn new things with every failure and try to erase the word failure from their minds. With every failure there are only lessons to learn. Don’t let your children feel that they are failures and make them feel that there is no such thing as failure. Teach them to set their goals correctly and also teach them how to strive hard to achieve them. Teach them that only after achieving the goals that they have set for themselves then only they can be successful. Only this way you will be able to make your children to grow up feeling good about themselves and give them a positive outlook in to themselves.

Whenever your child fails to do something, encourage him or her to do it again and again till there is success by working together as needed. Work with your children and only then you can teach them how to taste success. You must have a family night once a week to play games and teach them to communicate by asking them what they will do on the family night. Make them feel that their words are as important to the whole family. You must give them the right responsibilities.

Teach them how to keep their room, things and their surroundings clean. Make them feel welcome. Make them feel special. You must make them feel happy. In case of adults you may do the same things but must consider that they are adults not kids. These lessons will make a person feel better and happy.

Muna wa Wanjiru Has Been Researching and Reporting on Self Esteem for Years. For More Information on Self Esteem Lessons, Visit His Site at SELF ESTEEM LESSONS