You Can be Great If You Really Want To

How to deal with an anger in the relationship with your ex spouse for a making up relationship?

 

 

 

 

Options to deal with anger:

- Write it out: Work through your anger by keeping a journal or
by writing letters BUT don’t mail them. It’s a way of putting down
what you think and feel and standing back and looking at what you
have written.

- Shout it out: Wind up the windows in your car or put your head
in a pillow, and scream. It helps to get rid of the negative energy in your body.

- Talk it out: Instead of directing your anger at your ex, talk to
a friend or seek help with a professional who specialises in anger
management.

Take responsibility for your part of the relationship break-up: It’s rare that only one partner is solely at fault. Recognising what makes you angry can help to find the triggers and old patterns so that you can take steps to stop repeating them. Think about the important issues: Talking about every little irritation provokes resentment: let go of the small stuff.

 

What to do about anger?

 

 

(1) Keep it in – or let it out?

Some experts say you should ‘express’  your anger rather than bottle it up. They point out that suppressing anger can lead to heart disease. Other experts say that expressing anger makes things worse because it exacerbates the difficult situation and can have unpleasant consequences for your relationships, your career, and even your personal freedom. The choice appears to be get it off your chest and you won’t get ill – but you may end up lonely or in prison. Or suppress your anger and you will be more popular – but you may get ill! Fortunately there is a third option – not to get angry in the first place.

 

 

(2) Dissolving anger

 

 

The best way of dealing with anger habit is to stop it occurring in the first place. Get to know which triggers that evoke your angry feelings and systematically defusing each of these. As you do this recognise how these triggers have controlled you, because they do – you encounter the trigger and off you go – on automatic pilot, out of control, ruled by your emotions. Start making an on-going list of all the triggers that spark you off. As you do these consider the cost of being in ‘their’ control? For example, your self esteem suffers – you afterwards feel bad with yourself because of how you’ve let yourself down and lost control. You feel bad about how others view you. Your family, partner, friends tend to treat you with caution, because they cannot relax in your company but have to remain on guard, waiting for the next explosion. Then there’s all the apologising and making up – ‘I’m sorry. I’ll never do or say that again, I promise!’ And no-one believes you. And there’s the cost to your peace of mind of endlessly going over events, re-running them and re-feeling the feelings over and over again! And each day watching for all the opportunities to feel annoyed.

 

 

(3) A trigger a week

 

Take a trigger each week and defuse that. Decide that from now on you want to be happy more of the time even if you have to let people ‘get away with things’. Write down the cost to your health, happiness, relationships, etc. of remaining a victim to this trigger. Just doing this won’t stop you becoming angry. You need to do a bit more. Immediately after becoming angry calm yourself with some breathing exercises and then have a rational chat with yourself – ‘OK, I did it again. I let myself down. I fell for it once again. But I’m learning to take things more easily because I know the cost of letting the triggers control me and I’ve had enough of being a victim to them!’ Developing your awareness in this way and on a regular basis will gradually defuse your tendency to fly off the handle. It will also defuse the tendency to justify your anger. In NLP we call these triggers anchors – check out the article on anchor-hunting too.

 

Indeed, life is short. Don’t let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex love partner during your weekend plans. With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again.

 

 

I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.

 

 

 

How to get your girlfriend back?

 

Watch a video that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you should do to get your ex back and why at http://www.squidoo.com/how_can_i_retrieve_my_ex_lover_back

 

 

You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.

 

 

 

The era of ballroom romances, swirling dresses is almost history, with the tech oriented online dating sites .Until last few years you could shop for clothing and tickets online, but finding love online seems like a breakthrough in the world of computers.

There are umpteen websites that promise to find partners in the virtual world. The concept of online dating sites arose in the 90′s and has ever since become a rage. These websites is to provide a network for individuals to communicate through the internet with an objective of developing a personal relationship.

The websites require you to register with them by providing some of your personal information such as age, gender, cell phone number. A lot of these online dating sites also make it mandatory for the users to upload their photographs and browse photographs of other members as well. They use all such information to feed in to their database and then compare individuals that meet the criteria.

The users register themselves against a membership fee. The profiles can be further upgraded by becoming a premium member with increased fees as well as access. The USP of these dating portals is that the payment is accepted through credit and debit cards and for those who find it hard to pay all at one time, the options of instalment payments work wonders.

The concept of searching potential partners online has provided an altogether new approach to romance. Besides the online dating sites, now you can don different avatars and be a part of the virtual dating circuit. People who do not prefer to meet personally often resort to virtual dating which allows them to interact in a virtual venue. For those who think “seeing is to believe” there exists the concept of video dating. In a video date, prospective partners can see each other, chat with the help of webcams. The latest to join the bandwagon are the social networking sites. One can share personal information, photographs, hobbies and interests on these sites. The best part being you can share your views and thoughts in the form of posts and it allows your friends to comment on these posts as well.

Overlooking its rave reviews, even online dating has a few drawbacks
The sites often do not allow the members to preview or search profile until they pay the membership fee
Some expect the sender and the receiver, both to be paid members, in order to send or receive any messages.
At times the site owners create bait profiles to attract members
These sites often lack authenticity. People pretend to be single, when they are married and even misrepresent facts to allure other members.
In the past there have been lot of incidences where online predators have posed as potential singles and harassed their online partners.

Even though online dating is great concept for singles, but one needs to be wary of the information released online to ensure that the surreal world does not harm your real existence.

Click here for more information about online dating and dating related articles.

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Most people in trying to solve a problem concentrate on the problem rather than its solution. This is a mistake as this way of thinking locks you into the problem making you feel helpless and unable to deal with it.

In reality this is far from the case. Your unconscious mind the 90% of the mind that we are not usually aware of has great problem solving capabilities. Once you have the know how you can use these at will.

To gain help from the unconscious mind we must think of the solution not the problem. It happens like this. The smoker who wants to quit thinks “I must stop smoking” but his unconscious mind can’t process a negative so it hears and acts upon the word “smoking”. This causes him to continue smoking and possibly to even smoke more.

How does this relate to dating, Karen thinks, “I wish Keith and I weren’t always arguing” The emphasise is on arguing which is what she is concentrating on making it likely to happen even more. She needs to think of and mentally picture the situation that she actually wants, herself and Keith enjoying each other’s company.

Once Karen does this its likely that over the next few hours and days she will think of ways to make time spent with Keith pleasant and argument free. She can help along this process by writing down as many possible solutions as she can think of to the problem of having arguments with Keith.

The more she can be creative and think out of the box the more likely she is to find a workable solution. It’s important to generate as many ideas as possible for two reasons. 1/ Problems are often solved by using a combination of ideas and techniques rather than just one. 2/ Once Karen has her ideas she will turn them into “action steps” and act on them. If she comes up with only one or two ideas to turn into action steps she may not act on any of them, if she comes up with fifteen there is a good chance that she will act on five. This way she increases the likelihood of taking action to bring about a solution.

Once Karen has written down her whole list of potential solutions she will examine each one in turn and decide which one solution or combination of solutions is most likely to work best for her. She will then turn her solution into an action step or series of steps.

She will then begin to solve the problem. It’s important to start putting the plan into action now rather than waiting until tomorrow or next week. By taking action Karen puts herself in control of the situation. Although Karen can’t control Keith’s behaviour she can control her responses to it. By doing so she is able to move herself and Keith forward to achieving the goal of enjoying each other’s company.

Karen will also be prepared to adapt her solution as the situation unfolds. She will show self-reliance and flexibility in the way that she deals with her relationship problem. These qualities will almost certainly be rewarded. Most importantly she will concentrate on the solution not the problem.