21 Mar

Can You Save A Marriage After An Emotional Affair?

Posted by Samantha Sanderson, under Self Improvement

Emotional affairs can be more damaging to a relationship then an affair that involved pure sexual lust or a one night stand. The fact that the heart and deep emotions were involved often strikes the person who has been cheated on much harder than knowing the spouse just fell in bed beside someone once or a couple times. So, is it possible to actually save a marriage after an emotional affair has taken place?

The problem is not so much the affair, but the “emotional” part. Affairs of the body happen every day and many marriages recover from that shock much easier than most would expect. Yet, when one person has a real intimate connection with someone other than their spouse it is much harder to set aside and move on.

The first step is for the person who experienced the actual emotional affair to honestly decide whether the affair is genuinely over or not. If there is still deep feelings that are not likely to be let go anytime soon, then there may not be a way to really move the marriage forward. You can’t have a happy marriage if one person’s heart is withdrawn to someone else.

If the connection of the affair has been broken, then the journey shifts focus to the other spouse.

The spouse that was actually cheated on is fully entitled to feeling their own set of emotions, but in order to save the marriage they must also open their heart and their mind to the rekindling of romance with their spouse. Both people have to want the marriage to survive or it simply will not do so.

Once both people are on board and ready to move forward, then a period of time will be needed to restore an intimate connection with one another. Trust will have to slowly build up again. The marriage may never go back to exactly where it was before the emotional affair, but an even stronger bond can be formed and a new sense of happiness brought to life.

In order to save a marriage after an emotional affair open-hearted communication will be essential. Bitter arguments or throwing dishes is not helpful, but really talking so that everyone feels heard and validated will lead to action that can genuinely heal both people in time.

Stop arguing with your spouse and learn how to end your marriage problems now! Go here right now: Marriage Problems or have a look at: Marriage Problem and see what you can do now!


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18 Mar

Four Methods To End Procrastination Forever!

Posted by Michelle Prince, under Motivation

I often procrastinate. I could begin my day with the best of intentions to get critical responsibilities carried out, yet I soon find myself detouring from the path. I turn out completing my hours with busyness as well as errands. I understand the main things I have to do, and also the ones that will bring me supreme joy; but I often place the more pressing things first, such as chores, errands, phone calls, etcetera.

I procrastinated about writing this article, for example. I knew what I needed to state, but found excuses about writing it recorded on paper. I appeared to be very busy with less crucial tasks, therefore it did not get carried out.

People are usually aware of those times when they’re procrastinating, but they can’t seem to flip the switch. This can lead to all kinds of self-defeating thoughts and feelings of guilt, eventually causing depression. When we are procrastinating, it’s usually over the things that will make our lives better. Not doing them usually results in unpleasant consequences.

So, why do we procrastinate? Why do we let meaningless situations get in the way of our dreams? Why do we put off starting a new business, losing the weight, or taking that trip? What is really so important in life that we have to put our dreams on the back burner?

Here’s what’s promising; you’re the one who procrastinates, and you are the one who can cause it to stop.

There are many reasons why people procrastinate, and most of them are valid excuses. Some may have a hard time concentrating, and find themselves with so much on their plate, they can’t focus on just one thing. Others may have anxieties about completing a project and doing it right, so they avoid doing it all together.

Our own belief about ourselves is another excuse why we may procrastinate. If a person does not believe they can achieve their goals, they’ll tell themselves so, and avoid trying.

For a few, it could be the fear of faltering. Why start out to achieve something, simply to realize you cannot do it after all-and then, there is always the possibility that someone won’t want it.

What ever the reasons for procrastination, you will find solutions to conquer it.

Step #1 Determine What’s Holding You Back

Take a close look at yourself and identify any behaviors that could be related to fear, anxiety, concentration or time management. Understand why you have these behaviors and try to eliminate them.

Understand your goals and your purpose. What is it you really want to accomplish? How do you want to live, act and feel?

Line up those desired goals with your current behavior and note where you are self-sabotaging your ambitions. Have you been unconsciously creating behaviors and circumstances which will ultimately cause failure?

Step #2 Practice Self-discipline & Determination

Discipline and motivation are also vital to overcoming procrastination. Ask anyone whom you consider successful how they manage to continuously work on their goals, and never stop until they reach the finish line. I bet they’ll say it takes discipline to stay focused and keep going even when the going is tough or unpleasant.

Practice emphasizing the reward and not about the work. Do not forget that the work is simply a “means to an end.” It is what you need to do to obtain what you look for.

I was talking to an expectant mother a few months ago, and she asked me in regards to the discomfort of labor. She was anxious about dealing with the experience, as it was her very first delivery, and she’d heard horror stories.

I was truthful with her. “Look at it in this way,” I informed her. “The labor is simply a ‘means to an end.’ If you don’t undergo the labor, then you’ll never meet that precious baby!”

I promote to utilize that exact assistance with your own pursuits. Concentrate on the end result. Discover what you must do to get there, after which make those tasks important every day. Do the job and reap the benefits! The hard work is merely the means to an end. It is what will bring you to supreme victory.

Step #3 Pull out Your Goals

Most people have dreams. Some might not put them into action but they still have them, pushed into the recesses of their minds. “Some day,” they’ll tell you, “I will accomplish XXX.”

What are they waiting for? Why do they settle for living a mediocre life rather than an exceptional one? Why do they think they will do those things “later”? Why do they wait to really live to their fullest?

What if the doctor told you that you had only six months to live? What would you do? How would you act? What would be the most important things you would want to accomplish?

No one desires to think their time is up tomorrow or the day after, however the truth is, everyone has a prognosis of death. All people are going to die eventually and leave our own loved ones behind.

If we were actually given 6 months to live, undoubtedly we’d also make the best use of our time. But-what about today? Why don’t you start living that way now? Why wait one more day just living a regular life, when you could be living a special one? What is holding you back? What are you waiting for?

What if you did not die in six months yet instead you lived being 105? How do you want to spend all these years? Do you want to age with regret? Would you like to mourn the loss of your ambitions? There will probably come a day when you will not possess the energy mentally or physically to go after your goals, so time is an issue.

Start living a life of purpose now! If you continue down a similar way you are on now, tomorrow is going to be as predictable as today. If you live to be 105, that is many , many years to live just a common life. Imagine that.

Step #4 Start Living Now

Why put off your ambitions until tomorrow if you can achieve them today? Will a thing enchanting happen “later” that will give you more time, energy or desire? Most likely not. So-what are you waiting for?

Life can be so busy. Even if we have some down time, we could easily fill it up with “stuff.” Let us admit it: life will always be busy. There will always be an errand to perform or an obligation to fulfill.

If we know we will always be busy, then why not get started now? Why delay happiness? Why not be happy while you are busy? Just decide.

Life is short, but if we focus on the opportunities we have while we’re living, then we can have a life of greatness. Rather than running from the fear of dying, make it your goal to do everything you want to do in life. Live with more purpose. Focus on your goals.

Love those you love with a love that will last all of them a lifetime. And most critical of all: love your self. Love yourself enough to follow your aspirations and be who you were born to be. Live now, while you’re still in “the living years.

Michelle Prince – Author of “Winning in Life NowHow to Break Through to a Happier You!“, and top life coach, is passionate about helping others to become more of who God created them to be. To get Michelle’s Personal Performance Newsletter, visit winninginlifenow.com


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14 Mar

Save My Marriage! 4 Tips To Help You Save Your Marriage

Posted by Samantha Sanderson, under Self Improvement

If you are asking the question over and over “how to save my marriage?’, you are reading at the right place. Breakups are the most traumatic part of anyone’s life. Very few people are willing to save their marriages in today’s world where infidelity is the name of the game. This article is for those individuals who are willing to look beyond break-ups and give their relationship a second chance. In this article, we talk about how to save a relationship from falling apart.

There are four ways of handling a crisis in a marriage. The easiest one is to give up and get going with life. The second one is to exert control over your spouse and try to talk him/her about not leaving mid way. The third one is to let tempers fly and wage a war on your spouse. The last and the most difficult one is to accept reality and try to bounce back to work things out.

Most of the marriages go awry because the expectations are not met. Hence, it is important to set right expectations and gain clear understanding of it. You and your spouse need to draw up a list of ten important things that you expect from each other. Then, share the list and rework on it if needed. Once ready and accepted, you have to ensure that you stick to what you agreed upon.

Sit back and think about what went wrong and why the relationship took a hit. See the mistakes that were committed by both of you. Don’t be biased; be realistic. Once you have realized what went wrong, ensure that you don’t commit the same errors again. Learn, improvise and move forward.

Do not lose your cool. There might be times when you will want to yell at your spouse for spoiling the beautiful relationship that you shared with him/her thus subjecting you to the current ordeal, but, do not do that. Impulsive reactions are what trigger the last shreds of marriage to be broken. Hence, keep a check on your temper. Remember you don’t want to be the one to show the door when you both are putting in efforts to save the relationship.

Don’t ever blame your partner for things going wrong though it may seem very tempting. Appreciate him/her for the efforts he/she is putting in willingly to rework on the marriage. Complaining pushes you away from your partner but praising helps in bridging gaps. Don’t get into arguments with your partner when they are trying to express their feelings to you. Instead, be patient and listen willingly. Show that you care.

Want to stop your divorce? Learn what you can do now! Click here and check out: Save Marriage Book or have a look at: Save My Marriage and see what you can do now!


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11 Mar

Get Informed On Self Help For Panic Attacks

Posted by Denise U. Carpenter, under Self Improvement

There are several reasons why someone would seek self help for panic attacks. This disorder can come from several things one being over stressed. Finding out ways to eliminate stress and how to deal with these episodes can help maintain order and restore pleasure in one’s life.

It’s extremely important to learn the disorder and its origin before taking the steps of gaining help. There are many things in someone’s life that can set off these attacks. Educating yourself on the do’s and don’ts as well as possible foods like caffeine that can cause a panic attack is a must.

Get the support of a family member or close friend to help you through this trying time. Sharing how you feel may be an excellent way of dealing panic attack. By talking about your worries oppose to holding them in, this can help put a noose on the occurring panic attacks because you are not trying to cope with thins alone.

Keeping track and staying in control of your breathing is another great way to keep things intact. A small brown paper bag can help you maintain a sense of control when a panic attack is in effect. By breathing into a paper bag there is a significant amount of air available in the mind of a person who is experiencing an attack and this leaves them with a sense of control because during this attack a lack of air is the victim’s main concern.

Speaking to yourself during a panic attack is something that can be of assistance. Reminding oneself that this is only a passing event will help a person gain back control. Believing that there is nothing to worry about is going to help you get though the attack. When it is realized that this is an issue that isn’t going to harm you things will simmer down. Speak in a tone that is re-assuring and of certainty.

Burning candles or sometimes even sniffing baby powder can take a person’s mind off of a current panic attack. The best thing about sniffing something that is delightful is that it can trigger a fond memory. Some find the scent of things that take them back to an experience in their life brings them to a place of peace and serenity. When a person is focusing on a memory they have no time to think about what’s going on. When one’s mind is engaged in something else that brings pleasure they would rather choose that over something that brings about fear.

Another great way of remaining in control would be to count backwards from 100. When trying to recall numbers during a panic attack, your mind is totally dedicated to something else oppose to thinking about what’s going on. Redirecting that attention to something else doesn’t feed the panic attack.

Look online for support groups in your area. Check for help from those who suffer from the same problem. Discovering that you are not the only person dealing with this matter can bring about a sense of hope, especially if you have found other who have overcome the same glitch.

Take your time and do not fret because self help for panic attacks is available. Familiarize yourself with the condition you are suffering from and gain knowledge of the many ways to deal with the issue. Do not be afraid to take control over your life and regain hope and order. You are not alone and there are many others who are out there who experienced it, overcame it and you can too!

For the simplest way to begin watch the video about self help for panic attacks and take the first step to enjoying your life again. Also, there are ecourses available for self help for panic attacks to provide a more structured approach.


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08 Mar

How Low Self Esteem Affects Us

Posted by Kim Archer, under Uncategorized

This article explores some of the consequences of low self esteem among young adults. Unfortunately, many of society’s ills can be traced back to insufficient parenting and the lack of confidence building, among a myriad of other factors. There is little research done to suggest that mending self esteem alone can prevent bullying, teenage pregnancy or drug abuse, but many psychologists feel that programs to help people develop self esteem need to be more widely implemented in schools and communities across America in response to some of the problems we face as a nation.

As reported by a recent newsletter published by National Association for Self-Esteem, young children usually base their self-esteem mostly on the feedback they get from others, with the parents exercising the greatest influence. After the age of four, they begin to consider their capabilities at various activities. By age seven, kids typically base their self-esteem on three areas: academic success, social acceptance and physical competence. As they approach adolescence, they shift from the need for input from parents to feedback from peers. At this age, their degree of self-worth is usually founded on six domains or contingencies: social acceptance, inherent abilities, believing they are unique and worthy of respect, feeling in control of one’s being, moral virtue or integrity, and one’s attainments, including academic success. How an individual appears to others, physical abilities, and popularity become especially significant at this age, although these are all external sources for self-esteem.

The prevalence of acquisitiveness is a result of low self worth for a number of individuals. A recent study discovered that low self-esteem actually caused more materialism, however, the converse was likewise a fact — that increasing self-esteem could diminish consumerism. It was established that teenagers were normally gaining self-worth from the ages of 8 to13, yet undergoing low self esteem from 13 to 18 as they transitioned towards being an adult. By the time children arrive at early adolescence and undergo a reduction in self-worth, the foundation has been laid for the use of material possessions as a coping strategy for feelings of low self-worth. By priming high self-esteem, the study concluded, it is possible to turn around the big decline in self-worth experienced by young teenagers, thus lowering the steep rise in consumerism among this age group.

Psychologists have long studied the connection between individuals with low self esteem and bullying. In his 1997 book Evil: Inside Human Violence & Cruelty, Roy Baumeister suggests that the most hostile group of bullies actually have high esteem but are unstable. “These people think well of themselves in general, but their self-esteem fluctuates,” he explains. “They are especially prone to react defensively to ego threats, and they are also more prone to hostility, anger and aggression than other people. The bully has a chip on his shoulder because he thinks you might want to deflate his favorable self-image.” A number of violent crimes occur in response to self esteem blows like insults or humiliation. In the household, abusive husbands typically came from backgrounds of less affluence, less education and less financial security and therefore use violence as a way to put their wives down and assert their “superiority.”

Approximately 8% of all Americans suffer from some sort of eating disorder. Of those people, 100% suffer from low self esteem. For people with eating disorders, researcher HC Steinhausen states, “A profile of self-concept components that are characteristic of low self-esteem are insecurity, negative mood and depression, poor body image, feelings of inadequacy, social and personal withdrawal, poor adaptation skills and unrealistically high aspirations.” Anorexics and bulimics often begin to suffer from poor esteem as they go through puberty and their bodies change. Life transitions to new schools, new social peer groups, new work-loads and increased stress can also have devastating effects on young men and women. People with eating disorders generally see physical manipulation of their bodies as a means to happiness and the curing of all their problems, much like people who become addicted to plastic surgery.

Low self esteem effects and consequences are wide ranging and can have a significant impact on a person’s life, not just emotionally but through the choices they make. Visit our site to find out more about building self esteem and living a better life.

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