You Can be Great If You Really Want To

We have all experienced low self esteem at some time or other and it is something we need to be able to cope with. If not, we sentence ourselves to a less than satisfying existence. If we simply give in and let it control us, then we may suffer deep emotional damage and end up not achieving our full potential.

Events experienced during our childhood years often give rise to low self esteem. It is at this time, when we are very impressionable, that our thoughts and feelings are most easily influenced by others. This is not necessarily the intention at the time, but it is a regular enough occurrence that most people have endured it. Where a childhood event has caused low self esteem, this can create such a deep psychological impression that, for many people, this emotional scarring continues into adulthood and possibly for the rest of their lifetime.

Nevertheless, with the right approach, it can be overcome relatively easily. A lot of people seem to think that overcoming self esteem issues requires medication to sort the problem. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact there are many techniques you can use yourself to correct this condition. For starters, try being more assertive. To accomplish this, you first need to accept the person that you are. Remember, the perfect person does not exist. Everybody has flaws and is prone to make errors and once you begin to accept this, you will find it easier to start overcoming low self esteem.

If necessary, when you feel yourself sliding down the slippery self esteem slope, say firmly to yourself “Hey, I am a significant individual and my contribution is important”. It is crucial that you smile when you do this. Everybody has a talent or skill of some sort. Perhaps you are world-class at knitting! If so, don’t hide your light under a bushel. Show off your ability. Nothing boosts your confidence so quickly as someone complimenting you on that fantastic cardigan or blanket that you’ve produced for them. So keep reminding yourself of what you’re good at. Other people will notice. Be prepared to offer to teach your skill to anyone who is interested. Helping other people is an excellent way to boost confidence.

Put aside some time to sit down and make a note of all the things you’re good at. Ask trusted friends to help you with this if necessary. Keep that list with you and refer to it frequently. Doing this is another certain confidence booster that will help in overcoming low self esteem.

Don’t allow fear to stop you trying out new things. You won’t know if you like something until you try it! Long-term, staying in your comfort zone will not help you grow, it will simply prevent you fulfilling your potential and lead to a deep dissatisfaction with life. Life happens all around you, so make sure you take part. Nothing stands still, so ensure you don’t either.

Feeling low is not just a mental thing. It is emotion and emotions always produce physical results. Low self esteem tends to make people walk around head bowed, shoulders stooped and thus they can get away with not making eye contact. Here’s a good tip to counter this. Take yourself off to a neighbourhood where no-one knows you. Walk briskly for fifteen minutes, taking deep breaths and getting your heart pumping. Walking will release endorphins into your bloodstream, making you feel better about yourself. After this time, make eye contact with the first person you meet, smile and say hello. See how you feel when they smile back and return your greeting. Feels good, doesn’t it? Do this for as long as you want. Make it a daily or twice-weekly ritual. You will notice your confidence levels soar.

These tips are proven to help in overcoming low self esteem. Use them.

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The main thing to remember when you are trying to build self-esteem is to love yourself. Now, you may seem sceptical about it, and you might even think, “Yeah, easier said than done.” Yes, it is indeed difficult to do when the only thing that seems to be going through your mind is negativity. There is no quick fix to low self esteem; there is no overnight cure that can miraculously give you a turbo boost of self esteem and make you feel good about yourself if you suffer from severe self esteem issues. It takes time and effort on your part, but if you believe that you can do it, you will be able to overcome your self esteem issues. This article will show you 5 simple steps in helping you build your self esteem in the long run.

First of all, the common problem that people who suffer from self esteem issues is an abundance of self pity. Stop! Crying and complaining and whining about how unfair the world is will not change anything. It may feel good to let out your emotions with a good cry every now and again, but if it drags on then it could become a serious problem. Learn when to stop feeling sorry for yourself. It is perfectly fine to be down in the dumps every now and again, but once the tears dry it is time for you to dust yourself off and get back up again. Remember, you may not have control over circumstances but you do have control over how you react to them. You choose to be saddened by the hardship you face in life, or you can shrug it off and trudge onward. Your life is your choice.

The second step is to change the way you look at yourself. You know how it is. You look in the mirror one day, and it starts with a simple, “I could lose a few pounds,” and then “Gosh I need a facelift,” and ultimately it becomes, “No one loves me, I’m hideous!” Stop! You don’t have to conform to the pressures of the world. It is not obligatory for you to have the figure or looks of a supermodel. Learn to love the way you look, and you will soon find that you are beautiful no matter what others may say.

Apart from learning to love the way you look, you need to learn to love yourself. This is the third step. Loving yourself means taking the time for yourself, to do what you like. If you like walking in the park then make some time in your busy schedule, perhaps an hour or two to indulge in your favourite activity. Needless to say, setting some time for yourself is crucial in building self esteem, because it makes you feel good about yourself, because you are not allowing yourself to be inundated with the pressures brought on by others and enslaving yourself to their whims.

Speaking of other people, you should always ensure that the people you surround yourself with are people who are positive minded. This is the fourth step you need to note. The people who are positive minded often have your best interest at heart, so they will seldom put you down knowing that it would damage your sense of self worth. Even if they have some sort of criticism they will know that tactfulness goes a long way in speaking the truth.

The last thing you need to know is that building self esteem is a process in itself. It would be a miracle if you could suddenly wake up and feel good about yourself, so you have to keep working at building self esteem as you go along. Remember, if you are having a bad day, do not go back to the things that might have upset you. Keep in mind that a brand new day awaits, and you can always start anew.

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In life, whether it be in personal matters or business affairs, things do not always go to plan and you are certain to encounter problems at some stage. It may be a minor thing like losing your internet connection or missing your train, or there could be a major problem like fire or a mechanical breakdown.

The important thing is that you have in place a way of handling problems and then solving them. There have been many problem solving processes designed by business managers and consultants for use in the work environment but you may equally find them useful in other aspects of your life.

With all methods though there are some key steps that you need to take. Here they are for you to consider:

#1 Acknowledge The Problem

This is not always as obvious as it seems as sometimes you will ignore what you believe to be small things in order to get your work done or task completed. This will only cause problems later, so the sooner the problem is acknowledged the quicker you can overcome it. So be brave and face facts if things aren’t going right.

#2 Define The Problem

It is important that you are clear and precise in stating what the problem is. Write down precisely what is, or isn’t, happening to cause you difficulties.

#3 Identify The Cause

It is essential that you know what is causing the problem before you can start work on resolving it. If other people are affected be sure to get them involved and if possible get a group together and brainstorm the possible causes. That means simply writing down everything that comes to mind and should be done to a set timescale, say 30 minutes, and you should not pre-judge anything as things may come to light that you had not thought of. For example you could discover that a problem is occurring because you or someone else have not been adequately trained to carry out a task.

#4 Define The Expectations of The Outcome

It is vital that you know precisely what result you want to achieve by resolving the problem. Define what the ultimate outcome should be and put in place a way of measuring your success.

#5 Identify A Solution

Once again you should involve any other people who are affected by the problem and use the same brainstorming method as before to identify possible solutions. Then you need to come up with a shortlist before deciding on the solution that is best.

#6 Select The Best Solution

You need to take your shortlist and decide which is the best way of dealing with the problem. You need to look at four factors;

Feasibility – how realistic is it?

Contribution to Objective – does it solve the problem in the way you have identified as the required outcome and to what extent?

Side Effects – how will other people, your business or job, your leisure time, etc. be affected?

Cost – be sure you know the true cost. For instance if you need to go on a training course don’t just look at the cost of the course but also what it will cost you or your business in lost time. You must also be sure what you will gain by the successful resolution of the problem.

Then you should devise a way of scoring each of these factors against each solution on your shortlist. The one with the best score is the one you should use.

#7 Take Action

All you have to do then is implement the decision, make sure everyone involved understands what is required of them, and ensure you have a way of measuring the outcome.

Having a simple but effective plan for dealing with life’s problems will help you to overcome them and often realize that what at first seemed a problem is in reality an opportunity to make things better.