You Can be Great If You Really Want To

How to deal with an anger in the relationship with your ex spouse for a making up relationship?

 

 

 

 

Options to deal with anger:

- Write it out: Work through your anger by keeping a journal or
by writing letters BUT don’t mail them. It’s a way of putting down
what you think and feel and standing back and looking at what you
have written.

- Shout it out: Wind up the windows in your car or put your head
in a pillow, and scream. It helps to get rid of the negative energy in your body.

- Talk it out: Instead of directing your anger at your ex, talk to
a friend or seek help with a professional who specialises in anger
management.

Take responsibility for your part of the relationship break-up: It’s rare that only one partner is solely at fault. Recognising what makes you angry can help to find the triggers and old patterns so that you can take steps to stop repeating them. Think about the important issues: Talking about every little irritation provokes resentment: let go of the small stuff.

 

What to do about anger?

 

 

(1) Keep it in – or let it out?

Some experts say you should ‘express’  your anger rather than bottle it up. They point out that suppressing anger can lead to heart disease. Other experts say that expressing anger makes things worse because it exacerbates the difficult situation and can have unpleasant consequences for your relationships, your career, and even your personal freedom. The choice appears to be get it off your chest and you won’t get ill – but you may end up lonely or in prison. Or suppress your anger and you will be more popular – but you may get ill! Fortunately there is a third option – not to get angry in the first place.

 

 

(2) Dissolving anger

 

 

The best way of dealing with anger habit is to stop it occurring in the first place. Get to know which triggers that evoke your angry feelings and systematically defusing each of these. As you do this recognise how these triggers have controlled you, because they do – you encounter the trigger and off you go – on automatic pilot, out of control, ruled by your emotions. Start making an on-going list of all the triggers that spark you off. As you do these consider the cost of being in ‘their’ control? For example, your self esteem suffers – you afterwards feel bad with yourself because of how you’ve let yourself down and lost control. You feel bad about how others view you. Your family, partner, friends tend to treat you with caution, because they cannot relax in your company but have to remain on guard, waiting for the next explosion. Then there’s all the apologising and making up – ‘I’m sorry. I’ll never do or say that again, I promise!’ And no-one believes you. And there’s the cost to your peace of mind of endlessly going over events, re-running them and re-feeling the feelings over and over again! And each day watching for all the opportunities to feel annoyed.

 

 

(3) A trigger a week

 

Take a trigger each week and defuse that. Decide that from now on you want to be happy more of the time even if you have to let people ‘get away with things’. Write down the cost to your health, happiness, relationships, etc. of remaining a victim to this trigger. Just doing this won’t stop you becoming angry. You need to do a bit more. Immediately after becoming angry calm yourself with some breathing exercises and then have a rational chat with yourself – ‘OK, I did it again. I let myself down. I fell for it once again. But I’m learning to take things more easily because I know the cost of letting the triggers control me and I’ve had enough of being a victim to them!’ Developing your awareness in this way and on a regular basis will gradually defuse your tendency to fly off the handle. It will also defuse the tendency to justify your anger. In NLP we call these triggers anchors – check out the article on anchor-hunting too.

 

Indeed, life is short. Don’t let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex love partner during your weekend plans. With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again.

 

 

I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.

 

 

 

How to get your girlfriend back?

 

Watch a video that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you should do to get your ex back and why at http://www.squidoo.com/how_can_i_retrieve_my_ex_lover_back

 

 

You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.

 

 

 

Do you need to find stress management tools to keep your partner from stressing you out? Are relationships hard work? You bet they are. Not just the relationship with your partner but what about your friends, family and coworkers. Since relationships are inevitable learning to keep them stress free is your best defense against stress.

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Familiarity breeds contempt” It’s true. We take for granted the people we care about the most. Promising to love honor and obey but only if your spouse, agree with you. This is the harsh reality of many marriages and relationships. It’s in our nature to want to be “right”.

Lights Camera Action – Here’s the scenario. my husband comes home from work. He’s just worked a 10 hour day, he in a foul mood he grumbles at me and kids. I resent his attitude and don’t care how his day went. My only concern is how he’s made me feel. Now I?m ready to explode with pent-up frustration. Needless to say, everyone is unhappy. Stresses in your relationship is easier to ignore then to confront.

Out of sight, out of mind doesn’t work when it comes to relationships. Internalizing problems has an effect on the body whether we know it or not. It could be as simple as feeling a knot in your stomach when that person comes around or as severe as causing a panic attack or worse a heart attack.

So how do we deal with this situation? Here are 5 ways stress relief techniques can stress proof your relationship.

1.Realize you have a choice. In ever situation you have a choice conscious or subconscious choice on who we react. Acknowledge what you can control and what you cannot. Having choices gives you more control.
2.Focus on the positive side of the situation there’s usually something positive in every situation you just have to look for it.
3.Walk away. Often in a stress situation the best thing to do is walk away. It allows times to collect your thoughts and re-evaluate your actions
4.Realize this too shall pass. Most things are temporary and will soon run their course. Hard to believe at times but it’s true.
5. See the big picture. Stress is in the details of things that have no long term value. Focus on the big picture and what’s really important in life. By doing this so many of the little things will become insignificant.

I invite you to use these tips and techniques to keep your relationship strong, happy and stress-free