You Can be Great If You Really Want To

Here are a few simple things that you can learn that will allow you to calm down and relax. Take Deep Breaths: Breathe from your diaphragm. When you breathe from your chest, it won’t relax you like deep breathing will. Picture in your mind your breath coming up from way down in your abdominal area.

Slowly repeat a calming word or phrase such as “relax,” “take it easy”, “it’s ok.” Repeat the word or phrase to yourself while breathing deeply.

Imagery can help to relax you. Visualize a relaxing experience. You can think of something that is a memory of a fun and relaxing time you had – like at a beach. If you can’t think of a memory, use your imagination.

Try doing yoga-like exercises that relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.

Practice these techniques on a daily basis, so they become second nature to you. Then you will be able to use them automatically when you’re in a situation that may make you angry.

Change the Way You Think

People who express anger often tend to curse, swear or speak in highly emotional ways. This response reflects the way they think. When you become angry your thoughts can tend to become overly dramatic.

Try replacing these dramatic thoughts with more rational ones. An example may be instead of saying: “This is just unbelievably terrible. It’s a disaster,” you might think this instead: “It’s an upsetting situation and it’s certainly understandable that I am upset, but it’s not the end of the world. I can deal with this. My getting angry is not going to solve this problem. I need to stay calm and think rationally in order to find a solution.” Be aware of using words like “never” or “always” when you are talking or thinking about yourself or others. This leads to negative thinking and is counterproductive and usually not accurate.

Words like these can also fuel your anger and alienate others around you who might otherwise want to help you to come up with a solution. In situations where you are upset, having others around who sympathize with you and can help you to solve the situation is preferable to alienating others and scaring them away.

Expressing anger in a non-productive manner is not going to solve the problem and it is not going to make you feel better about the situation or about yourself. Expressing anger in an uncontrolled manner may make you feel worse about yourself and the situation. You could even make the situation worse during your outburst.

Thinking the situation through in a logical manner can defeat feelings of anger. Anger, even when it is understandable and justified can easily become irrational, uncontrolled, and unproductive if not contained and redirected.

Unpleasant situations happen to all of us. Who hasn’t been ill-treated by a consumer-related incidence? It happens, and while in the midst of situations like these; keeping your cool and staying in control, will assure that you will have the best outcome possible.

One good strategy to master is – Problem Solving

Taking positive steps to coming up with a solution to what is upsetting you can help to make you feel better:

1. Analyze what the problem is by identifying all participants and events that created the problem

2. Gather information regarding the subject of the problem

3. Understand the dynamics involved from all angles.

4. Brain-storm all possible solutions and scenarios or consequences.

5. Make a plan of action and a goal as to when to accomplish your solution.

Not all problems have solutions despite our hope that they do. Sometimes all we can do is learn how to cope with the situation in a healthy, positive manner; if a solution is not possible.

Another good strategy is to be able to listen well and to communicate with all parties involved in the event or situation. Take the time to really hear what others are saying. Others who are involved can help you to understand the problem better. Having the ability to be able to communicate both your feelings and your thoughts on the matter will allow you to express your feelings in a constructive manner.

Try not to get defensive if others criticize what you say. Not everyone agrees with everyone else. We as individuals will naturally have different opinions. A discussion is only a discussion if all parties remain in control and can actively listen to what others are saying without judging too quickly.

A little bit of humor can diffuse a potentially explosive situation at times. Being able to laugh at yourself can at times help to make you feel better about something that may otherwise have upset you. We’ve all made mistakes, right? It happens, it can’t be undone, and sometimes the best thing we can do is say “wow that was a dumb thing to do, but it happened and I’ll just fix it and laugh at my clumsiness.”

Give yourself a break from the rigors of life. Working too hard can make us grumpy and more easily prone to bouts of anger. Make sure you schedule some personal time for rest and relaxation.

Use these strategies for controlling your anger. Check out some anger management books from your local library for some more great strategies.

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No matter which way you look at, people are attracted to people who have self esteem and confidence.  High self esteem and confidence can get you the job of your dreams, attract the perfect life partner, allow you to make friends easily and enable you to feel in control in just about every social situation that comes your way.  Life is a vast array of social interaction and whether you are grocery shopping or spending a night out with friends, your inner self confidence and self esteem has a great impact on how people will respond to you. 

It is only natural to become self-conscious in social situations.  You may worry about your hair, your clothes or start fidgeting with your mouth or nose out of nervous tension.  Some people blush as though a spotlight has just been shone on them while others take drastic measures to sink back in the shadows and become wallflowers.  The problem is that when you have low confidence around people, others notice it and can read it as you being painfully shy and uncomfortable and they will not want to cause further discomfort for you by engaging in conversation.  Either way, people will not be attracted to you professionally or otherwise, which will only add to your feelings that you are socially inept or not good enough.  It is quite a vicious circle.  In a day and age where social confidence and self esteem are perhaps the most versatile and meaningful ways to get ahead in life, welcome abundance and form valuable relationships with others, it is drastically important to learn how to boost your self confidence in social situations. 

 Keep in mind, that you are absolutely not alone.  It is estimated that four out of every five people feel insecure socially, avoid public speaking at all costs and constantly worry and fret about how they look and speak as well as worry how others see them.  That being said, being self conscious and having low self esteem is not a death sentence for your social life.  You can show the world just how amazing you are and let your light shine by learning a few tricks to boost self confidence.  If you practice and prepare your self before going out in this world every day, you will be a pro in no time.  Chances are you will come to the realization that putting on your self confident face is more important than any make-up or other primping you may spend your time doing. 

The first thing to do is take care of your self and dress with care.  Your self-image is reflected in the way you dress and carry yourself.  This may seem shallow at first, but given thought you will realize that when you look your best and dress nice you naturally feel more confident.  You walk with pride and spend less time trying to hide your self from others.  Instead of throwing on raggedy sweat pants and foregoing the shower before going to the grocery store, commit to waking up every day with the intention that you will take care of you first and foremost.  Throw on the jeans and decent shirt and you will be instantly surprised how differently people respond to you.  Don’t believe it!  Do your own experiment and dress in sloppy sweats that have a stain on the front, don’t wash your face or hair and go to the local coffee shop.  The next day, put on your jeans and t-shirt, comb your hair and see the difference in the way not only you feel, but in the way others react toward you. There is nothing wrong or self indulgent about taking care of yourself aesthetically and your first impression is perhaps most important. 

Make a conscious decision when you meet people to make eye contact with them and smile.  These TWO simple things can make a huge difference in your own confidence and in the manner with which people treat you.  It sends a warm, inviting message and shows that you are not fearful of others and most importantly, that you see your self as an equal.  Pay attention to all of your body language.  Are you slumping?  If so, stand tall and notice the difference in yourself. Do you walk around with your eyes cast down to the ground or keep your arms folded as if you are cold?  If so, physically opening yourself will invite people to you and when they respond, you will naturally respond with confidence and feel accepted.  Chances are the way you carry your self in life and the way YOU treat others is what gives them insight into your personality.  However, when you are shy or feeling uncomfortable your energy changes and you shrink from the outside in which only pushes people and positivity away from you.    When you change your body language consciously and people and situations begin to be more positive, your self confidence will be boosted ten fold.

Are you setting your self up for being insecure before you even leave the house?  Do you think things like “everyone will think I look ridiculous” or “I can’t wear these jeans, I will look like a fool!”  We all do it!  If you are creating a thought process that your encounters with others will be a disaster…they will!  Being nervous can be a healthy thing UNLESS you visualize the horrific outcome every time before it even happens.  These thoughts are creating a reality and the sad part is that your mind is just trying to do what it is told.  You will feel awful, look awful and stutter around like a complete fool because you are directing yourself to do so.  What if, you visualized your social situations whether personal or professional going perfectly well?  What if instead of deciding that no one will like you, that you will never be good enough, that the office party or dinner with friend will be a disaster, you imagined it all to be great?  What if you began seeing social interaction as an opportunity not to fail, but to unveil the real you that has been lying dormant and whom the world is just dying to meet?  Well, it’s definitely worth a try.  Chances are preparing your self by thinking negatively is not working or else you wouldn’t be reading this.  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by getting a hold of your thoughts and making positive visualizations about your self and the way you will interact socially!  Try it!  You will be surprised how different you feel and how much more self confidence you have.

Social self confidence is really no different from being self confident when you are alone.  It definitely takes work for most of us.  Yet, the work is worth it because when you feel self confident and as you build your self esteem you will find that there is nothing in life you cant accomplish or set goals to achieve.  Self esteem is really about you feeling good about whom you are on the inside and out, and realizing that within yourself lays an endless well of opportunity and potential!  Follow these tips and in a short while you will change your own life.

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Easy, effective fitness begins with finding fun activities that can be adjusted for your age and ability level. What better way to accomplish this than through home exercise without equipment? Today, many of us live lives so structured, structured down to the last minute seemingly, that we need to kick loose once in a while. Think of it as stress management strategies that don’t add to your workload, nor are one more thing to do, but rather, a fun, spontaneous, enjoyable, even exhilarating experience that you can share with others even.

Simply consider dancing with a purpose. The purpose should include proven stress management strategies such as random and exaggerated body movements, and patterns of movement that are not so much graceful and flowing as they are expressive and releasing. Easy fitness means in part, you don’t have to think about it much, and since most of us do far too much thinking all day long as it is, there really is nothing better than showing up a moment by yourself or with your friends or family, and putting on a little music and letting your body take over.

Random movement is how you access your own human instinct to stretch, and that is among the most effective stress management strategies available. And you don’t have to work at it; you can just have fun doing it. People need a little break once in a while, and here it is. The trick is not to structure the activity so much as to focus on taking the action. And the action of simply moving your body about randomly will literally provide a euphoric experience for both your mind and body.

The wonderful part about doing home exercise without equipment is that instead of having to manage more stuff, you can manage your imagination instead. You can express how you feel, what’s going on for you this 5 minutes through movement, and if you are physically able to move relatively quickly, and shift your weight around with an element of velocity, you can get a lot accomplished as far as exercise is concerned; particularly when it comes to balance and coordination, range of motion, and cardiovascular conditioning. Right there, you have 3 of the 4 elements of exercise accomplished. By merely adding some lightweight dumbbells and continuing to move around randomly, you will then add the strength training, or final factor, into your routine.

Just start by shaking your body. Instead of exercises that actually work counter to the body’s natural movement, practicing this essential Vitalogy movement will allow you to let your body guide you. Think in terms of loose, quick, jerky movements, where one part of your body goes in one direction and another part of your body goes in another. That’s how young people move with youthful mobility. It’s not about winning the “Dancing with the Stars” contest, it is about having a few minutes to be with your body, move it around, enjoy some good music of your choosing, and getting some home exercise without equipment. Why work out with your body when you can have fun and get something done hanging out with it? That’s easy fitness.

It really is that simple – don’t let technology overcomplicate your life. Hearken back to the blissful days of your teenage and young adult years when you could just put on a record and let your body start moving. You didn’t know it then, but you were letting your built-in human instinct to stretch take over. Now you do.

Easy fitness is more about focusing on the action you are taking rather than getting caught up in a cumbersome structure to follow. Nothing is better for clearing the cobwebs out of your head after a long day. Give yourself bonus points for taking just a few minutes to provide yourself with no-cost stress management strategies for better living. This is truly an example of exercise for the rest of us.

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