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It is acceptable to become angry about a situation or problem as long as it does not hurt others or take control of our lives. If this happens then there is the distinct possibility that an anger management issue has arisen. If you become angry very quickly and easily, there are techniques to manage anger that you can use to help you vent your anger in the right way.
All humans feel angry at something at some point in their lives. It is healthy to have a certain amount of anger. We all need to be able to let off steam about a situation or problem and becoming angry is our normal way of doing this. It is when we begin to feel ourselves lose control that these techniques should be used.
The first technique to try is to calm your self down and become relaxed. This may be easier said than done. But if you learn to control your breathing, taking in long and deep breaths, you will find your body reacting and beginning to relax. It may also help to take a walk outside and look at the sky whilst employing these breathing techniques.
Another technique that many people find useful when angry is writing things down. Grab a piece of paper and a pen and just start writing. It is important to write down what you are feeling at the time when you are angry.
You do not need to be polite or kind – you are essentially venting your frustration and anger in writing as opposed to venting it towards someone or something else. This means that you keep control and are not at risk of hurting someone else due to your emotions.
Finally, if you are angry at another person or an animal, try to imagine what they are thinking and feeling. This is one of the more powerful techniques to manage anger that shows you understand empathy and are willing to accept that the situation is not all one sided.
Breathe deep and long breaths. Be sure to open your belly and breathe deep into your abdomen. You may not know it, but when you’re angry you’re panicking. This will help you to calm down. If you know how, pray. Pray for God to guide you through this dark time. Pray for the grace to see the beauty and vulnerability in the person you are mad at. Pray for the wisdom to see beyond the view of the person or situation that makes you so angry.
Another maladaptive way of handling your feelings, perhaps out of fear of losing control, is to work extra hard at keeping everything bottled up inside. What happens here is similar to what happens when a balloon keeps filling up with more and more air. The balloon will expand as far as it can and then eventually pop.
The body changes as anger rises. It changes in preparation to either fight or flee. The fight or flight response has been triggered when angry. By learning to notice these changes you can recognise anger triggers faster. This is a powerful anger management technique.
When people are angry their thinking is affected. Thinking is distorted because the brain is looking for information about possible threats. This causes biased thinking and means you will give more attention to negative signals when angry. Start to pay attention to the thoughts you have leading up to an anger outburst. Write them down.
Relaxation tapes are also good for reducing anger and anxiety symptoms. Many people with anger management problems also suffer from anxiety. Relaxation tapes teach you breathing skills and how to relax the muscles. Constant anger or tension causes the body muscles to ache. Exercise can help to reduce this and is the foundation of any good anger management program.
One of the best ways to diffuse your anger is to get physical. That does not mean hit your kids, which is one of the destructive ways some parents diffuse their anger. What I mean is to engage in some form of vigorous physical activity. Go for a walk, a run, lift weights, or do something else physical that will diffuse your emotions and get your mind off the problem. This will help you cool down.
When you are feeling stressed it is easy to have trouble controlling it. Do something that will ease the immediate feeling of pressure. It may mean you have to leave a situation. That is better than lashing out and being abusive to others.
Anger management classes are helpful for learning skills to reduce and control anger. You will learn about yourself and how to manage your thoughts, behaviours and feelings. To get the most benefit keep practicing after the classes end. If you still have problems consider individual counseling. Professional online anger management classes and counseling are now available as well as many excellent self help resources.
We all know how unpleasant excessive stress can be. We also know the feeling of sickness in our stomach before an important performance, and the intense ‘fight-or-flight’ reaction we get when we face frustration after frustration.
In this society where challenges have to be met and limits to be broken all the time, there are just too many stresses which one had to handle & faced, be it student who faces stress at school work & during exam period or the working adult who had to meet the demands of never ending workload & unrealistic deadlines. Relaxation techniques become a marvelous way to help in the quest for stress management.
A lot of people have the misconception that relaxation is just only about having peace of mind or simply enjoying a hobby during their past time. However, relaxation is much more than just that, relaxation is actually a process that helps reduces the wear and tear of life’s challenges both physically & mentally so that one can recharge & keep on going positively in life.
Regardless whether one has a very stressful & hectic lifestyle or they have managed to get it under control, one can still benefit from learning the different relaxation techniques. Learning basic relaxation techniques is easy & by exploring these simple relaxation techniques, one is able to get started on de-stressing their life and improving their holistic health.
According to a research done on using relaxation training in improving of irritable bowel syndrome, it was found that with relaxation training in a brief group intervention, it has significantly improves symptom severity, general health perception and medical consumption in irritable bowel syndrome patients immediately after, as well as 6 and 12 months after intervention.
There are also a number of other benefits as to how the body readily responds to stress from practicing relaxation techniques:
* Decrease in heart rate
* Able to stay mentally positive
* Slowing one’s breathing rate
* Reducing the need for oxygen
* Increasing blood flow to major muscles
* Reducing muscle tension
* Reducing emotional responses, such as anger and frustration
* Improved concentration & focus
* Greater ability to handle problems
* More efficiency in daily activities
Although health professionals such as complementary and alternative medicine practitioners, doctors and psychotherapists can teach relaxation techniques, we can also learn some of these techniques on our own.
The relaxation response leads to a quieting of the sympathetic nervous system. This relaxation response thus prevent one from being overstress, however it can only be evoked through conscious effort.
Relaxation techniques usually involve refocusing your attention to something calming and increasing awareness of your body. Regular use of the relaxation response helps to offset the effects of fight-or-flight responses (Benson, 1976). It doesn’t matter which techniques one choose, what matters is the need to practice relaxation response regularly to benefit from it.
There are several main types of relaxation techniques, including:
Body-to-mind control is one method which one can use to evoke the relaxation response. It is also known as progress muscle relaxation. In this technique, we will focus on slowly tensing and then relaxing each muscle group. This helps us to focus on the difference between muscle tension and relaxation, and we will become more aware of our physical sensations. We may choose to start off by tensing and relaxing the muscles in our toes and progressively working our way up to the neck and head. Tense the various muscles for at least five seconds and then relax for 30 seconds, and repeat.
Mind-to-body control is another method of evoking the relaxation response. In this technique, we will first select a quiet environment, get into a comfortable position and close our eyes. Next, we will concentrate fully on taking a deep breath and slowly to be aware of the breathing. While we are breathing out, repeat a positive cue word or sentence, for instance, “I’m relaxing my whole body”, “my whole body feels relax and free”. Continue doing this for another 10 to 20 minutes. During this exercise, we will adopt a passive attitude, which means that we will allow any distractions that come to our mind to simply pass through and not to focus on the thoughts so as to allow relaxation to occur at its own pace.
Visualization is the third relaxation techniques one can perform. In this technique, one will form positive & relaxation mental images so as to take on a visual journey to a peaceful, calming place or situation. We will try to stimulate using as many senses as possible, including smells, sights, sounds and textures. If we imagine relaxing at the ocean, for instance, we will think about the warmth of the sun, the sound of crashing waves, the feel of the grains of sand and the smell of salt water. We may choose to close our eyes, sit in a quiet spot and loosen any tight clothing so that it will help in the process of the overall relaxation technique.
There are also other relaxation techniques which include those that are more familiar with, such as Taichi, yoga, music, exercise, meditation, hypnosis and massage etc.
In Taichi, we combine both the techniques of body to mind & mind to body relaxation responses. Taichi can also be regarded as a form of dynamic meditation and when coupled with music along with the rhythmic, graceful smooth & continuous movements, it can be considered as one of the more holistic and complete form of relaxation techniques where it combines the positive effects of all the other different form of relaxation techniques.
As we learn & explore the various relaxation techniques, we will slowly become more aware of our muscle tension and also other physical sensations of stress. Once we are able to get a understanding of what the stress response feels like, we can then make a conscious effort to practice a relaxation technique as described earlier the moment we feel our muscles start to tense up.
In this way, we can prevent & thus avoid stress from spiraling out of control. We need to understand that relaxations techniques are skills just like other skills such as swimming, running, baking a cake and as with any skill, our ability to relax improves with correct practice. We need to be patient when performing the relaxation exercises & stay motivated to reduce the negative impact of stress on our body so as to experience a greater sense of calm in our life & also to be control in stress management.
 Kaushik RM, Kaushik R, Mahajan SK, Rajesh V. Effects of mental relaxation and slow breathing in essential hypertension. Complement Ther Med. 2006 Jun;14(2):120-6. Epub 2006 Jan 10
 P. P. J. VAN DER VEEK, Y. R. VAN ROOD, A. A. M. MASCLEE (2007). Clinical trial: short- and long-term benefit of relaxation training for irritable bowel syndrome. Aliment Pharmacol Ther. 2007 Sep 15;26(6):943-52
 Rainer Martens PhD, 1987, Coaches Guide to Sport Psychology, Human Kinetics, Champaign, Illinois
 Don Greene, 2001, Fight Your Fear and Win, Random House, New York
 Terry Orlick PhD, 1990, In Pursuit of Excellence, Human Kinetics, Champaign, Illinois
 Herbert Benson M.D., 1992 (reissue), The Relaxation Response, Harper Collins, New York
 Martha Davis PhD, 2000, The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook (Fifth Edition), New Harbinger Publications, Oakland, California
 Rainer Martens, Coaches Guide to Sport Psychology, 1987, Human Kinetics, Champaign, Illinois, USA
Anger itself is not a problem – it is actually how well you manage it. Naturally, anger is a feeling of displeasure or animosity. Anger is an unpleasant emotion and naturally responded to perceive threats. In fact, the occurrence of anger will generate a problem only when you can not handle it in a proper and healthy way.
What is involved with anger?
There are some related components that build up your anxiety and tear down your emotion. So, starting with learning and understanding the particular factors that generate the anger are a good start for the successful anger management:
Emotion: This factor involves feelings such as sorrow, unhappiness, disappointment, dissatisfaction, frustration, etc. Thinking: The way you think can cause or worsen anger. It also can help you deal with it in a healthy way. An emotional response is to acknowledge that it is OK to be frustrated. Keep concerning on its solutions instead of focusing only on what is wrong with it. Body: Anger can result physical symptoms, such as muscle tension, increased heart rate and increased blood pressure.
In fact, emotional outburst and explosion can destroy the relationship between you and surrounded people such as family, friends, co-workers or even completed strangers. It is very important to learn and understand some anger management skills. Anger management techniques are a proven way to help you change the way you express your anger.
Technique #1 : Finding someone you trust
When you are in bad mood and started to be angry, do not shut the door and stay only with yourself. You need to be relaxed! Speak it out positively by consulting someone that you can feel free and trust to talk with. Sharing your worries with another person can slow down the worries and pull away all bad imagination in the proper perspective.
Technique #2 : Laughing at it
Having a good laughter is the best natural treatment method. Laughter can ease your burdens and draw you away from nonsense stories. Be in the company of amusing friends or spoil yourself with activities that can bring laughter into your life.
Technique #3 : Exercising
At anytime when you find out yourself is in the anxiety mode, distract it by getting some exercises. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your extreme and explosive emotions. Go out for a short walk or a soft run. Probably, swimming, lifting weights or shooting baskets can take you out from the emotional fluctuation as well.
Technique #4 : Muscle Relaxing
Muscle relaxation is one of the useful exercises for reducing anxiety. Start first relieving tension step with scalp, following with face, neck, shoulders, arms, chest, abdomen, legs, and feet. Then let’s relax all these muscle groups for a while. Following with the tensing phase, hold the tension for several seconds, then slowly release the tension. From this step, you can feel “draining” of the anxiety out of your body. Repeat all the steps from top to toe as many times as you want or do it anytime when you are in the anxiety mode.
Technique #5 : Proper Breathing
Understanding and learning relaxation skill can also assist you to manage your emotion when you nearly explode in anger. Practice deep-breathing exercises, create in your mind a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as “Take it easy.” Other efficient ways to deal with the anger is to listen to the music, write a story, paint a picture and do yoga.
Additionally, reading a book is one of the practical ways of treating the personal anxiety, because there are a number of helpful books regarding anger management. Some of them focus on particular situations, such as the management of anger in teens, in men or in couples. Many of them are workbooks with teaching methods on the exercises that improve your concrete Skills of Anger Management.