You Can be Great If You Really Want To

Are you the parent of a child who readily joins activity groups, participates in sports programs, and completes all the tasks required by his teacher, but never seems to be the one who stands out?

He is never the one who gets that extra nod of attention, or receives recognition or awards for being outstanding in whatever situation he is in.

You know he is bright, puts his best effort forward in everything he does and by all accounts does fine, but each time seems to be out shined by those few children that excel at everything they attempt.

Have you found yourself wondering why your child doesn’t seem to have that little extra edge that those that excel have that makes them just a bit more aggressive on the basketball court, or just a bit more “polished” when they give an oral presentation in class?

What do these children possess that your child doesn’t?

The answer is “self-esteem.”

So you say, “Okay, that’s easy…I just need to tell him more often how great I think he is and reassure him of how smart and talented I know he is!”

Raising your child’s self-esteem is not a simple, one answer fix.

Building healthy self-esteem is a process. It is a process that will grow and expand over time. You are right, however, in realizing that it is something that starts with you, his parent.

The process can begin at anytime in your child’s life. Of course, it is easier to start when they are very young, but building self-esteem can begin at any point in their lives.

Regardless of when it is started, the process is the same.

You, the parent, need to start by having an understanding of the principles of the law of attraction.

If you are not familiar with the law of attraction, there are shelves and shelves in every bookstore with numerous books and programs explaining the Universal law of attraction. I recommend choosing one that appeals to you.

Parenting using the law of attraction is based on the universal law that states what you think and believe you will create as your reality.

So, the first task at hand is to help your child understand this law and how it works.

The basic premise you need to convey is that everything begins as a thought. Your child needs to understand the importance of his thoughts.

Example: Negative thought: “I hope I can get the ball and make a basket at the game today.” Positive thought: “I am going to score five baskets today!”

This example demonstrates the difference between wanting to succeed and believing you will succeed.

The point is to encourage your child to think about himself and his capabilities in a positive way. This can not be done by simply sharing your opinion of how wonderful he is. He knows how much you love him! Unfortunately, in his eyes, the fact that you love him will lower the credibility of your words!

That is not to say you should ever stop praising and showering your child with encouragement.

Your child, however, needs more than the opinion of someone he knows loves him to gain the kind of confidence that will allow him to reach his full potential.

The second part of this process is designed to help your child understand that what happens in his life is within HIS power.

The law of attraction teaches us that we all have the power within us to control what thoughts we will accept and focus on and which ones we will reject. The thoughts we choose are the thoughts that will determine what IS.

Helping your child repeat this “positive mindset” exercise will help him develop the skill to think only positive thoughts and as he sees the positive results from these choices, he will know that he can accomplish whatever he wants to.

He will now have “confidence” in his abilities in whatever situation he faces.

The absolute beauty of the law of attraction is that it works all of the time for everyone. There are no conditions to be met for the principles to occur in your life.

Whether you believe it or accept it or even completely understand it, it IS working.

It will work against us by thinking negative thoughts and it will work for us by thinking positive thoughts.

Your role as the parent is to teach your child how to use his power to CHOOSE what his thoughts will be.

The only difference between your child and those that have that edge to succeed is not that they are brighter, smarter, or more talented… the difference is they BELIEVE they can do whatever they choose to do.

The difference is in their thoughts!

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Are you as emotionally controlled as you would like to be? Many people find that they struggle with anger management. The key thing about anger is that it is all in your mind – it is about how you think and what memories, beliefs and thought habits you have formed since you were young. Consider this, that which stems from your thoughts, conscious and subconscious can be easily changed using the power of your mind. This might not be relevant to you but independent research shows that you can re-program your mind using self-hypnosis.

Most people find this interesting that you will be able to access thought patterns, attitudes and beliefs that you may not even be consciously aware off and replace them with new ones. You can also use self-hypnosis to lead you to do active internal searches to enable you to access untapped emotional coping resources that you can use to help you achieve your potential. Stop for a moment, and realise how you will benefit from the additional coping skills. If not for yourself, then, surely you want to learn to control anger for your family. I wonder if you are aware of just how easy it is to control your anger with hypnosis.

A well designed self-hypnosis program will guide you through a conscious and subconscious process of letting go of hostility, anger and bitterness that you have gathered from childhood on. It will prompt you to critically evaluate all the reasons which you think have contributed to your anger, and then to replace unconscious programming that is no longer of benefit to you. So if you’re serious about getting control over your anger, then self-hypnosis is an effective tool for you.

A self-hypnosis program will guide you to identify and disable the triggers that cause you to become angry. It’s quite amazing how easily you can disable the triggers and get control over your anger.

It will also equip you with a powerful guided visualization that you can do whenever you feel your anger mounting, which will help you to dissipate the anger and remain emotionally controlled.

http://www.jasonsandler.co.za

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Since 1997, Herbert Benson, of the Harvard Medical School, has reaffirmed that “Sixty to ninety percent of [doctor-patient] visits are prompted by conditions related to stress.” Especially in today’s world, stress management is truly vital to emotional, relational, and overall physical health. As a psychologist, I understand that most tend to consider meditative exercises as too difficult to learn; and too time consuming to practice.

Although activities like watching television and listening to music can be relaxing, they do not elicit the relaxation response that is most beneficial for managing stress. In order to de-stress, people need to do something that sounds contradictory, namely engage in activity that is not passive. The Surgeon General recommends physical activity for stress management. One can also manage stress by engaging in self-meditations.

I have had much personal and professional success from my use of audio meditations, many of which can be downloaded off the Internet for free. I recommend a search for “free hypnosis downloads,” “free progressive muscle relaxation,” “mindfulness,” and “free light and sound machine.”

Most people are familar with the availability of self-hypnosis. These hypnotic programs are guided exercises in deep meditation.

Progressive muscle relaxation is a systematic method of tensing and relaxing most of the major muscles of the body. When a muscle is tensed beyond its current level of tension and released, it rebounds to a more relaxed state. This phenomenon helps to create penetrating relaxation, throughout the entire body, within 15 minutes.

A Light and Sound Machine is a relatively new technology that assists its users in achieving near effortless levels of deep meditative states. Relying upon a process known as brainwave synchronization or entrainment, a Light and Sound Machine (or Mind Machine) purportedly uses light and/or sound to alter the brainwave frequency of the user, resulting in altered states of awareness that have been compared to those obtained from transcendental meditation.

Similar to the effect of watching the flicking flame of a fireplace, but more pronounced, the specifically timed flicking pattern of a Light and Sound Machine will surprisingly help to induce its effect, within just a few minutes. Despite their beneficial use, most people also consider Light and Sound Machines to be too expensive. Nonetheless, you can sample the positive effects of these devices, by conducting the aforementioned Internet search. The available freeware actually creates a “virtual” Light and Sound Machine, via your computer monitor.

I also recommend complementing the effect of Light and Sound Machines with soft music or one of the free audio hypnotic downloads that can be found online, as previously discussed above.

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