You Can be Great If You Really Want To

Anger really is one of the most detrimental emotions in life in general as well as when on the golf course. For someone who suffers from the grips of this emotion it is useful to have several different methods to fall back upon so as to stop anger from ruining your golf. The following is a short list of anger management tips which you may find useful.

1. Breathing – Your mind and body are intrinsically linked. Mind works on body, body works on mind. It’s impossible for your mind to be tense and your body relaxed and vice versa. By relaxing your breathing you will automatically relax your mind. Breathe through your abdomen, not your chest. Five deep breaths will do the trick.

2. Reach for that Hamlet – Remember the Hamlet cigar advert? Try it without a cigar for a healthy version – take a step back, sit under a tree and take a few deep breaths – that’ll relax you nicely. It’s not the nicotine which relaxes you (nicotine is a stimulant, after all); it’s the step back and the deep breath which does the trick.

3. Ping an elastic band – you’ve seen smokers doing this one. Wear an elastic band on your wrist and every time you get a thought or feeling you don’t want to have you ping the band hard so that it hurts you so much you can’t even feel angry!

4. Go to your happy place – Everyone can do this one. Remember the film “Happy Gilmore”?

5. Pre shot routine – Hopefully, you all have one of these. The reason for having a consistent pre-shot routine is to absorb your mind in the detail of the task at hand, and in so doing any other not-so-productive thoughts are displaced. If you thought it unnecessary to have a set routine, think again.

6. Post shot routine – De-Brief. I bet not many golfers have one of these. It’s an “OK that happened. Not what I wanted, but it did.” Then you visualize what you did want to happen and replace the memory immediately, so that next time you come across a similar situation you remember the perfect shot (not the duff one that you did hit). How can you feel angry when you’re choosing to remember the perfect shot?

7. Think “smooth” – smooth movements. Angry people are tense and jerky. Consciously smooth out your walk, pretend you’re gliding, floating along the fairway, and then it’s impossible to feel angry. Like I said before your mind and body are intrinsically linked.

8. Be in the “now” – you might think you are, but are your thoughts really on the present moment? A Stanford University study found that the average person has 60,000 thoughts a day, 59,500 of which are the same as the day before – indicating that it’s a really tiny percentage of time that people are really “in the now”. If you’re in the now, you can’t worry about past failures, you can’t worry about future outcomes; all you are doing is concentrating on the present and there’s nothing in the present that can really make you angry.

9. Dissociation – have you ever had that feeling that you’re there, but not there? Or maybe a feeling that you can almost float up onto the ceiling and look down at yourself? This is great on the golf course. Imagine how good you could feel, just drifting out of your body, floating up in the air and distancing yourself from all those unnecessary emotions? You could even float right on off to your happy place!

10. Where there’s a will, there’s a way – If you want to deal with things better you can; if you don’t want to you can’t.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in golf hypnosis cds and hypnosis mp3 downloads.

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1. What Anger is Really Saying Though this article is about controlling anger problems in conflict, understand that anger is not bad. When you treat an emotion like guilt, shame, or anger as “bad”, you avoid it because it represents pain. The top five ways to control and manage your anger in conflict that I’m sharing with you are unintended to avoid or suppress anger. Acknowledge that anger is okay to exist because it communicates a message you need to hear. Anger in conflict usually signals emotional or physical trespassing or disrespect. Once you feel violated, ignored, or avoided, intense anger surfaces. It helps to manage conflict when you see that anger signals an unmet need you can fulfill. 2. Communicate your needs with “I” statements You get into relationship-trouble when you ignore the messages anger has for you as you attack another person. A simple way to minimize your tendency to attack is not use the word “you”. Do not say, “You need to stop playing games and clean up your room.” You can say, “I would like you to stop playing games and clean up your room.” Notice the difference? Amazing! 3. Breathe It seems almost silly to breathe when you’re angry, but this could be the greatest anger management technique I’ve discovered. When you’re angry in conflict, you cannot manage your anger or listen to someone because your brain is depleted of oxygen. That explains why no one hears you when they are angry! Practice deep slow breathes to reduce your anger at a physiological level so you can effectively communicate for better relationships. 4. Journal your anger Writing down what made you angry is helpful because it acknowledges and expresses anger. It’s best to communicate your needs to someone, but some times this is not possible so you can write about the situation in your diary. Journaling helps process anger and manage what made you angry in the first place. It can lead you to reframe the situation to see what hurt you in a healthier light. 5. Have a key word Develop a key word with someone you get angry at to let you know it’s time to cool off. It’s helpful for someone else to say this word because you may be unable to detect your anger in a fight from oxygen deprivation. Use any word that is out of the blue so you know it means you must go away to relax. “Elephant”, “saw”, and “plate” are just a few words that can be used to help control anger problems in conflict.

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Anger is an emotion that needs to be managed. Anger expressed in public will spoil your image. Sometimes anger even tends to break up families. So anger management is essential nowadays. Many people are trying to find out the ways and skills to manage anger.

You can use your humor to change the mood. If any argument makes you angry, you can make a sudden wit that will ease the situation and you will also feel peaceful. If you and your spouse are arguing about something and the argument tends to become a fight, then change the topic immediately. It will help you to control your anger. If your child does any mischievous things you just get out of the room and take some minutes to calm yourself. This will be more helpful because if you beat or scold your child badly, you will definitely feel guilty after some time. So better calm yourself and talk to your child.

If your surroundings make you angry regularly then change your environment. If not possible at least plan some vacation tour that will change your mood. Another way to control anger is to find alternatives. If the traffic hazards make you angry daily, then plan a map and try another route.

The parents must follow some ways to help their children control their anger. Whether we admit or not our children are learning violent ways to express their anger due to movies, television, internet, music, newspaper and magazines. We should help them to change their violent mood. Otherwise it will harm the children and others.

One of the best ways to control kids’ anger is to teach them by showing yourself as a good model. The child watches their parents keenly. So if you got angry, then tell the child that you are angry and so you are going for a walk. This will help your child learn how to manage anger.

If the child is angry with you then you should deal the problem carefully. Tell him\her that you will listen what he\she wants to say only if he\she is in calm mood. This will teach the child to express the anger in peaceful ways. Teach the child to engage him\her in some physical activity like drawing pictures, listening music etc when they are angry.

Teach your child to take deep breathe while he is angry. Also teach him how to take deep breathe. Tell him to count up to 10 while he is angry. This will reduce the anger and makes him behave in a cultured way.

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