You Can be Great If You Really Want To

This is a weight loss article, right? Surely I should be offering you some practical tips about how to lose weight; that makes perfect sense. You know; drink more water, do a cardio workout 3 times a week, that sort of thing. So then you’re probably thinking ‘why on EARTH is this woman rabbiting on about self esteem? After all, if you wanted to know how to love yourself you’d go and visit one of those namby-pamby self-help websites, wouldn’t you? Well I’m here to tell you that my philosophy on weight loss is a little different from the others.

For example, you will never read about the latest ‘diets’ in any of my blog entries. This is because I don’t believe in diets. Or pills or potions. Or the latest ‘you betcha’ sure thing quick fix out there on the market. When you go on a diet, your subconscious mind immediately says: ‘when are we coming OFF the diet?’ Diets don’t change your attitude towards food. Self awareness does. No folks, there is no such thing as a ‘quick fix’ where weight management is concerned and I’m not about to tell you otherwise. What I WILL tell you though, is that the state of your physical health (including your weight) is by and large connected to the state of your emotions. To cut a long story short, if you feel good in your mind this will translate to feeling good in your body.

Many of my weight loss clients come to me feeling disempowered, anxious and depressed. They are on a rollercoaster of self-punishment and failure. They hate everything about themselves, and they feel powerless to change. So often I find myself treating not only the symptoms (overeating, lack of motivation to exercise), but also the underlying cause. Guess what the most common answer is to the question ‘What do you want?’ The answer most of my clients give me is ‘To be happy’. Well that’s kind of obvious isn’t it? We all want to be happy.

But what exactly is happiness to you? Is it an absence of fear? How do you think you will feel when you are happy, and what do you need to be, do or have in order to feel these feelings? Many people just want to worry less. My client ‘Anna’ was sure that her overeating was directly related to the amount of stress in her life. She was quite capable of ‘being good’ on those days when things were going smoothly; but the moment something went wrong, she would head straight to the fridge for a ‘therapy’ session with Baskin and Robbins. So we worked together to help her firstly, define her stress triggers, and secondly, establish some coping strategies for the stress.

We can always find things to worry about can’t we? Two of the biggest fears around are not having enough (money) and not being enough (self esteem). Low self esteem manifests itself in lots of ways, but it often takes the form of worrying about what other people think. Does he think I’m too short; does she think I’m too fat? Most people assume that when they walk into a room full of people, everybody will be looking at them and making judgments. But the truth is those people aren’t thinking about you at all; they are too busy worrying about what you think of them!!

Do you think you will feel better about yourself if you lose weight? This is highly unlikely unless you work on yourself from the inside. Nobody can give you approval except you. And that won’t happen just because you drop a few kilos. Assuming you do finally get down to your goal weight, if you have low self esteem you will almost surely find something else about yourself to dislike. Self esteem is the key to everything. Success in every area of your life depends on how you see yourself. When you truly believe in yourself, you feel calmer, more centred and more focused. Because of this your metabolism starts working properly. Your brain chemistry balances out. You don’t need to reach for food to stuff down your emotions.

So if you really are serious about losing weight and keeping it off, invest time in the pursuit of high self esteem. Read. Study. Meditate. Make a commitment to watch what you say to yourself and about yourself. Refuse to engage in negative self-talk, and above all, never EVER give up. As you begin to respect yourself, you will learn to respect your body. And that, my friends, is what I mean by weight loss from the inside out.