You Can be Great If You Really Want To

Recognize what escalates you and identify your trigger point:

Sometimes, when we have conflict with others, we start to realize that the other person not what we thought they were. We start to pay attention to the reason we think caused conflict, look back to find the evidence support that reason. We may also change our future interactions with this person. This filter have when interacting with this person can cause poor relationships in the future. The truth is that people do things for many different reasons, many of which we are not aware. When we lost trust in the person, we will not be open to listen to the reasons the person may give us. Our judgments against that person forms, and conflicts will get worse. Identifying the filter by which we see this person can help us recognize out escalation point.

The same rule applies with our work

When we are not totally committed and things get tough, we want to find our way out. We may find ourselves in the same situation with others, and are able to deal with it happily. This is a reflection on you, not the other person, your pay, or the situation. By examining deep inside, we will discover there are some important rules for your life that may have been broken.

Re-evaluate your feelings:

Are your feelings true or a result of your ego? Your true feelings will make you realize that you really want make a change, do something different, or do the same project or job or with someone else. Here, you are allowing your ego to stand in the way of productive relationships.

Sometimes, people will act as though they are helping you, but you feel that they are actually manipulating you. Sometimes, what they say can be easily misinterpreted. You might want to consider that maybe your co-worker or friend truly intended for their message to come across differently, and perhaps you misunderstood. Focus on looking and asking for clarification. Evaluate what others have done for you, what they haven’t done, and ask yourself if you are truly understanding their message. If you are, and the message is one that implies manipulation, you need to ask yourself if this is a friend or co-worker you would like to keep interacting with. Sometimes, it is give and take situation, find the meaning in the message, never just assume you already know the answer.

People do things according to their own preference

They don’t mean to hurt you. But, if you ask them politely, they don’t want to consider your feelings, you might want to just release them from your life and concentrate on finding the kind of friends that better suit you. Surrounding yourself with positive people you have things in common with will help you succeed not only in business, but in friendships as well!

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With a new year is approaching, we naturally look backward at what we have accomplished and forward to what we hope to accomplish. This is the perfect time to set goals.

If you want to set goals that truly work and empower you to get results, here is a system that really works. Use it and you will achieve great things that will surprise and amaze you.

If goal setting has not worked for you in the past, meaning you fell short, it’s probably because you set your goals in general terms. General goals move you in a general direction. It rarely produces big specific achievements. You need to make your goals specific. This will help you achieve what you want more quickly. Clarity is power. And things become much clearer when you write them down. A Harvard study has shown that graduates who have written specific goals are significantly more successful than graduates who do not.

I’ve been setting goals since I was 17 years old. At first, they were general goals and I didn’t write them down. But I did have a vital ingredient for success. I wanted to achieve them passionately.

You see, I did not have a warm supportive family when I was growing up, although my mother did instill in me a high value for education. She divorced when I was two years old and married my stepfather. He was an alcoholic and beat her. He was a strong man with forearms as big as hams. When I was a teenager and tried to protect my mother, he ground my face in the dirt. So you see I had high motivation to leave home as soon as I could. We also were very poor because of the Great Depression. So I had high motivation to make money.

Later I started writing down my goals and making them specific. It enabled me to get a job with Metropolitan Life Insurance Co. Before then all I did was common labor. I loaded a truck by hand with 4 tons of cement blocks. Then I drove to a job site and unloaded it. I did this four times a day, which means I handled 16 tons, just like the coal miner song. I had absolutely no white collar experience. I wanted the life insurance job so bad I could taste it. My passion must have impressed the head of the agency and he hired me.

I was the youngest salesman they had ever hired up to that time. Barely 21 years old, I outsold every one of my 16 colleagues in my agency. I made so much money I forgot to deposit my checks until I was reminded to do so by a call from a harried Metropolitan clerk who was trying to balance her books.

I wanted still more and I got a Masters degree from the University of Michigan, graduating with honors and Phi Beta Kappa, the honor society which fosters and recognizes academic excellence.

No one in my family — mother, father, uncles and aunts — ever graduated from high school.

The goal setting process I now use is simple, easy and fun; yet produces profound results. I’ve been teaching it for over nine years and I see my clients get great results.

I think most people set their goals in general terms, like I used to do, because they’re afraid to make their goals detailed and to set deadlines. They fear not reaching their goals and feeling badly. They avoid painful feelings like disappointment, frustration, feeling insignificant and being full of self-doubt.

When I am making goals, I trigger myself into the mood of a child wishing on a star, innocently full of faith and belief. I think about all the things that I really, really want. I put aside my critical self and don’t worry a bit about how I’m going to do it. Because if I did, it would feel impossible and I would shut down.

I think about what I really, really want. I see it, feel it, hear it. I might even smell and taste it. Just like I wanted that job with the insurance company so I could get out of the house, be my own person, find a good woman to love. I’ve learned that when your desires are strong enough, your unconscious mind will find ways to make it happen. Even the universe will help you out in unexpected ways.

To make your desires strong, you need to have strong reasons why you want to achieve these things. First think of your reasons, don’t worry how you accomplish these things. These answers will come to you. You just have to have big strong reasons why achieving your goals is a must.

Best wishes for a rich and rewarding business and life,
~Stan

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