You Can be Great If You Really Want To

Anger itself is not a problem – it is actually how well you manage it. Naturally, anger is a feeling of displeasure or animosity. Anger is an unpleasant emotion and naturally responded to perceive threats. In fact, the occurrence of anger will generate a problem only when you can not handle it in a proper and healthy way.

What is involved with anger?

There are some related components that build up your anxiety and tear down your emotion. So, starting with learning and understanding the particular factors that generate the anger are a good start for the successful anger management:

Emotion: This factor involves feelings such as sorrow, unhappiness, disappointment, dissatisfaction, frustration, etc. Thinking: The way you think can cause or worsen anger. It also can help you deal with it in a healthy way. An emotional response is to acknowledge that it is OK to be frustrated. Keep concerning on its solutions instead of focusing only on what is wrong with it. Body: Anger can result physical symptoms, such as muscle tension, increased heart rate and increased blood pressure.

In fact, emotional outburst and explosion can destroy the relationship between you and surrounded people such as family, friends, co-workers or even completed strangers. It is very important to learn and understand some anger management skills. Anger management techniques are a proven way to help you change the way you express your anger.

Technique #1 : Finding someone you trust

When you are in bad mood and started to be angry, do not shut the door and stay only with yourself. You need to be relaxed! Speak it out positively by consulting someone that you can feel free and trust to talk with. Sharing your worries with another person can slow down the worries and pull away all bad imagination in the proper perspective.

Technique #2 : Laughing at it

Having a good laughter is the best natural treatment method. Laughter can ease your burdens and draw you away from nonsense stories. Be in the company of amusing friends or spoil yourself with activities that can bring laughter into your life.

Technique #3 : Exercising

At anytime when you find out yourself is in the anxiety mode, distract it by getting some exercises. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your extreme and explosive emotions. Go out for a short walk or a soft run. Probably, swimming, lifting weights or shooting baskets can take you out from the emotional fluctuation as well.

Technique #4 : Muscle Relaxing

Muscle relaxation is one of the useful exercises for reducing anxiety. Start first relieving tension step with scalp, following with face, neck, shoulders, arms, chest, abdomen, legs, and feet. Then let’s relax all these muscle groups for a while. Following with the tensing phase, hold the tension for several seconds, then slowly release the tension. From this step, you can feel “draining” of the anxiety out of your body. Repeat all the steps from top to toe as many times as you want or do it anytime when you are in the anxiety mode.

Technique #5 : Proper Breathing

Understanding and learning relaxation skill can also assist you to manage your emotion when you nearly explode in anger. Practice deep-breathing exercises, create in your mind a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as “Take it easy.” Other efficient ways to deal with the anger is to listen to the music, write a story, paint a picture and do yoga.

Additionally, reading a book is one of the practical ways of treating the personal anxiety, because there are a number of helpful books regarding anger management. Some of them focus on particular situations, such as the management of anger in teens, in men or in couples. Many of them are workbooks with teaching methods on the exercises that improve your concrete Skills of Anger Management.

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Some people find it hard to control their anger, that more often than not, they throw a fit and even become physically violent. Nevertheless, you have total control of your feelings. As a guide for you on how to do that, here are some simple steps to remember so you don’t let anger take you over.

Breathe and Count to Ten. When on the verge of losing your wits, it is much better to pause for a while, count to ten until you have released all the tension inside. This actually works, trust me.

Shut up. When you feel like bursting and you have the intense urge to shout at the top of your lungs, bite your tongue to avoid adding fuel to the fire. Cool down first before you say anything. Keep in mind that it takes time to build a relationship and only a word to wreck it. Be careful with what you say so you won’t regret anything in the end.

Think of the Possible Consequences. I know that making your mind work, especially when you’re fuming, is hard. Nevertheless, exercising control over your emotions will do wonders. It’s just mind over matter. Think of the possible consequences if you act on your anger. Try to visualize the things that might happen  if you do something borne of your anger. Will a breakup ensue or will you leave a bad impression among your friends as soon as you start spewing hurtful words? Through pausing to think, you will be able to stall your emotions while the anger subsides. Be mature enough to take responsibility in the actions you do and the words you say. As the Chaos theory puts it in the movie “The Butterfly Effect,” “Everything, even the flap of a butterfly’s wings can cause chaos” so be wary of what you say and do, as it will affect everything that will happen in the future.

Detach Yourself and Do Something Else. If you find it rather hard to zip your mouth when infuriated, walking away from the situation in the meantime might work for you. In this way, you prevent yourself from lashing out on people around you. When your anger has cooled, talk things over with the person you are angry with like the adults that you are. Take a walk in the park or write in your journal to let go of your emotions. Keeping your emotions bottled up might lead to heart ailments, but going the other extreme and exploding is also as harmful. Allowing yourself to explode may damage your relationships. Walking away doesn’t mean that you won’t address the issue at hand or suppress your emotions forever. This means distracting yourself from extreme anger, calming yourself down, and then dealing with the issue when you are more capable. Later, when you are ready to, you can process your emotion by naming it for what it is, acknowledging you indeed were hurt or offended, forgiving the person and yourself, then asking that person for forgiveness, if need be, then moving on.

Exercise Your Power to Choose. Remember, you have the will to choose. You have the will and the power to choose, even in anger. Try to imagine this scenario. You are in a crowded mall when someone accidentally stepped on your newly-polished toenails. You are about to yell at that creep when you suddenly realized that it was your crush. Don’t be a hypocrite: even if you’re fuming mad, you will most likely want to flash your sweetest smile and assure him that you’re perfectly fine. Fine too, your toes would be, despite the searing pain and the toe-flesh turning purple. So you see, you have absolute power to control your anger. Thus, stop saying that emotions are involuntary and they’re hard to restrain and manage. On the contrary, they are totally subject to your will. You hold the choice. Don’t be a victim of uncontrolled emotions. Practice wielding control over them now.

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