You Can be Great If You Really Want To

As a writer and editor for an online self-help, personal-development and self-improvement superstore, I am frequently called upon to review the latest self-help products. Consequently, you’d think I would be perfectly positioned and eminently qualified to tell you which is the best self-help product.

You’d think. I mean, how hard can it be to pick out the best self-help product?

Well, it isn’t as simple as that.

I can, without a moment’s hesitation, tell you which is the top self-help DVD or top self-help book. That’s a different matter. The top self-help product is the one which is currently out-selling all others. You can pop along to Amazon’s self-help category and find out which is their best-selling product for yourself. But you don’t want to know what the best-selling self-help product is. No, you want to know what the best self-help product is.

Now this next bit is going to sound a little glib, but bear with me.

The best self-help product is the one that works for you.

See, I told you the answer was going to sound a little glib.

Unfortunately, it’s true. The best self-help product is the one which suits you, the one which you’re comfortable with, the one that fits you like a glove. If we take this tailoring metaphor a step further: the only way to find the best self-help product for you, is to try each product on for size. Just as with clothing, you can’t make your purchase on the basis of what someone else says. You have to give it a try first, check yourself out in the mirror in your mind’s eye, so to speak. The only thing somebody else can tell you is what is the best self-help product for them, not what is the ideal product for you.

So, forgive me if I sound a little glib, but the best self-help product really is the one that works for you.

Go on, try a few on for size. When you’ve got the right product for you, you’ll know.

It will just feel right.

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There must be hundreds — if not thousands — of self-help programs and e-books available online, but can any of these resources actually help you succeed in life?

The truth is that many self-help e-books are worth while, and they can give you resources to build upon to create a better life. But they can’t create that “better life” for you. In order to succeed and create better circumstances, you must take 100% responsibility for your thoughts and behavior, as well as the results you are getting in life.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to two things: your willingness to learn, and your ability to convert the contents of these e-books and other programs into a concrete plan action to succeed in life.

Unfortunately, many people go from program to program; from e-book to e-book, constantly jumping on the “next big thing,” without taking daily action to put any of these techniques into action. And without consistent action, no self-help e-book can help you succeed in life.

As a life coach, I have been in contact with many people who could only be described as “self-help junkies.” Usually, these people are voracious readers, and have the very best of intentions to change their life for the better. The problem is that they seldom stick to any particular program. They’ll read a few the e-books here, and watch a few videos there, and try a few other programs that are similar, and in the end, they just become confused by trying to integrate so many disparate approaches to self-improvement.

The best approach to self-help (whether you are using e-books, videos or some other program) is to find a few resources that resonates strongly with you– that you feel passionate about– and a stick to them like glue. The most important aspect of this is that the program or e-book you choose is “right” for you — and that you believe strongly in it.

Belief and faith are critically important in personal development. Any program you choose to follow, no matter how popular or insightful it may be, is bound to fail if you do not personally believe in it. Belief and faith are what causes us to follow through and to take action. And without taking action, you cannot succeed in life, no matter what kind of e-book or program you are using.

And it’s worthwhile to mention that even classic books that have helped thousands of people, like “The Power of Positive Thinking,” or “The Science of Getting Rich” will not help everyone. Personal development is just that — personal. Just because someone else (or even many people) respond well to a certain program or e-book doesn’t mean that you will.

After all, making changes to help you succeed in life is all about personal responsibility. No matter what program you use, it will always be your responsibility to follow through and create the change you wish to see. Programs and e-books can only show us the way — but each of us has to “walk the walk” ourselves.

No guru, ebook author or self-help program can do that for you; to succeed in life, you must absorb the best ideas available to you, and then put them into action in your day-to-day life. After all, it’s not called “self” help for nothing.

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The best help for anxiety attacks is self help. Particularly because a critical factor in anxiety attacks is your ‘fear’ of having another one. If you can rid yourself of this fear then you can prevent further anxiety (panic) attacks. Here, you’ll discover how your fear of another anxiety attack can actually trigger one, and, how you, yourself are the only person who can eliminate that fear and prevent more anxiety attacks.

As an anxiety sufferer who has experienced the symptoms of an anxiety or panic attack, whether you are consciously aware or not, you will be worried about having another attack. And why wouldn’t you? Let us be honest, the symptoms are absolutely terrifying aren’t they? The totality of all the symptoms led you to believe you were about to die, so there’s no way that you wish to go through that again.

Now your ‘fear’ is such a powerful force that it has a real effect on your general anxiety. What happens is that your constant fear adds to your already higher-than-normal anxiety levels. By doing so your fear raises these levels even higher. They can be raised so high that the stress of a normal everyday event can then push your anxiety way beyond what your body expects.

Your unconscious mind then ‘sees’ this (quite wrongly) as a life-threatening situation and reacts as it has for thousands of years; by priming your mind and body to either fight or run away. We call this the ‘fight or flight’ response. You see, your unconscious mind can’t tell the difference between reality and non-reality. All it knows is that you’re in a highly stressed situation. It then takes no chances and assumes you are in danger.

The horrible symptoms you experience are the result of your brain very quickly organizing things to give you the best chance of survival. For example, blood is short-circuited from your stomach to your important muscle groups. Your pupils dilate to let in more light so you can see better. Breathing becomes faster for more oxygen. Your heart pumps faster to deliver the blood faster. And so on.

So I hope you can see now that the symptoms of anxiety attacks are just your body’s natural reaction to a ‘perceived’ threat. You aren’t going off your head, and, you aren’t going to die.

I know this is a lot to take in so, if you want to, please go back over what you’ve read so far. It is important to get a good grasp before we deal with your fear factor…

Okay, now let’s deal with your fear. You can see from the above that your fear is only one part of an ‘anxiety cycle’ that goes something like this >>> anxiety attack >>> fear >>> increased anxiety >>> anxiety attack >>> fear >>> increased anxiety >>> etc. Your anxiety is feeding off your fear, so that by concentrating on your anxiety alone (as drug-based meds do by trying to control your ‘mood’) you aren’t addressing the real problem, which is your ‘fear’ of having more anxiety attacks.

The key is to remove your fear factor first. This breaks your cycle of anxiety, which in turn prevents anxiety attacks, and, then makes it easier to address and ultimately cure your general anxiety.

So how do you get rid of your fear? You must take back control from your fear and diffuse it. You do this by meeting your fear face-to-face, quite literally. In basic terms you have to be prepared to have an anxiety attack! I know this goes counter to what you would think but it’s what you have to do. Instead of running away from your fear which amplifies it, you must embrace it totally and diffuse it.

As an example try this right now: make yourself have an anxiety attack. Nothing happened right? Okay, try again then. It isn’t going to happen. Why? Because you faced your fear of another attack by trying to trigger one. In doing so you dissipated your fear and so nothing happened.

This is just a small experiment, and clearly if that’s all you had to do, no one would be suffering from anxiety attacks anymore. Of course, it’s a bit more complex than that, but that gave you an idea of just how successful this can be with the proper technique, like the ‘ONE MOVE’ technique outlined below.

But even if all you’ve taken from this report is a realization that your next anxiety attack won’t harm you, then you’ll have taken a good positive step forward.

John Cielo researches and writes on self help for anxiety attacks. To discover the simple ‘ONE MOVE’ technique that will eliminate your fear factor and so break your vicious cycle of anxiety, please go here now http://eliminatepanicattacks.blogspot.com and get your old self back again.